AIBU three children in a two bedroom house

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I’ve name changed for this am I’m wary of anyone recognising it’s me.

I’ve not long found out that I’m pregnant with dc3. As you’ve probably worked out we live in a two bedroom house. At first I was ok with it but a couple of weeks have passed and I’m getting nervous. Not helped by my mum insisting that I’m going to have to move even though a big part of my childhood was sharing a room with my sister in a shoebox house .

The positives are it’s a relatively big two bed. The two beds in this estate are actually the same size as the three beds but the rooms are partitioned differently. We have a shower room/toilet downstairs and a bathroom/toilet upstairs so I’m not worried about toilet scrambles. No dining room but a decent sized kitchen with a 6 person table in there. The bedrooms upstairs are both big and I’m not worried about putting three children in the same room but I seem to be worried now about judgement from others. I knew we would have to move eventually as I have a dd and a ds so that’s always been the case but I’d like a few more years here first. It’s a lovely house on a lovely little street and I’d be sad to leave.

Am I being unreasonable to inflict this on my children and should I start searching for a new house or is my plan of staying put for a few years reasonable?

I would assume the new baby will be in with you for six months to a year?

We did this, so eldest two shared a room and baby slept with us. Now they are older, my son and daughter would never share a room. They fight too much but I think it’s fine when they are little.

How long would you have the baby in with you? How old are your other DC? I wouldn't want to screw up the older two DC's sleep by sharing with a baby, but I guess you could keep DC3 in with you until you move or until they're old enough to share with minimal aggro? Or can you divide the room? You'll also get the usual suggestions of sofabeds in lounge etc. Personally I'd move to a house with more rooms if at all poss, but obviously big families do squeeze into two bedrooms and make it work.

I think it's fine whilst the littlest one is sharing with you (and partner?). But I don't think it's ideal to have three kids in one room. So if it was me I'd be doing it with a plan to move house by the time the littlest one is say 3 or so if not earlier as we moved our DD out of our room when she was about 16m.

To be honest I’d be looking to move asap or particularly before baby was ready to move out of parents room
2 kids sharing a room can be hard enough if one of them doesn’t sleep very well or there is a big age difference but three is just unrealistic and unfair IMO

Fine while little if you ask me.. in fact, my close friend shared with 2 same sex siblings until they moved out. They are 1 of 4 so just how it was. The eldest had the box room and the 3 youngest shared until they were adults and left home.

You could investigate the idea aid partitioning the larger of the double bedrooms into two smaller rooms.

Can you reconfigure to make 3 bedrooms or do loft conversion?

One of my closest friends growing up shared a bedroom with her two brothers well into their late teens. It worked, for them.

I’ve got 3 children and, although 2 of them share, I wouldn’t want all 3 of them in the same room, not least because the different bedtimes would be a nightmare! We switch around the combinations of who shares at various points depending on need.

How old are your children? What age gap are you looking at?

We had a large 2 bed when I was young, it fitted three single beds in alone the length with space between. It was fine.

How old are the kids? It's not like you're expecting to have three teens of mixed sex sharing, you've already said you need to move. Another 6 months til baby is born? 6 months in your room, that's already 12 months down the line to moving.
If baby wakes a lot still you might need to keep them in with you for longer though

I seem to be worried now about judgement from others.

Unless these people are offering to pay for the mortgage on a three/four bed place I think you're fine! Honestly, if it suits you and your family for now, stay put.

Do you own the house?

Any chance of a attic conversion/garage conversion or even a small extension?

Why can't you convert 2 bedrooms into 3? Especially if the rooms are big. It would also improve the value of your house, so win win!

I was expecting replies saying that I’m the most awful person in the world for considering it so thank you for proving me wrong!

I have a ds who is 5 and a dd who is 3. Dd stayed in with us until she was around 18 months old so I imagine the new baby would do the same.
My loose plan is to stay in this house definitely until the baby needs to be moved out of mine and dh’s room and see what happens after that. If they all share well maybe stay another year or two but if it’s a nightmare move asap!
Ideally I’d want to have moved by the time ds is 10 anyway as I suspect he will start to need his own space by then.

I agree, if its feasible, I'd be moving now, rather than later in pregnancy or with a newborn in toe. if you do stay in the current house, how long do you realistically think it would be for? Could you convert a garage? How old are the other kids?

Friends have 2 kids and kept the younger one in their room till she was 5 and then moved house. The other bedroom was a triangular box room, so barely enough room for a childs bed, let alone 2 kids.

Could the older 2 have a bunk and when the baby is older, have a small bed in their too?

I had 3 dc in one room for 5 years and it was fine. Yanbu.

I think it can be fine for a bit. I actually have a 3 bed with 3 DCs and mine voluntarily share a room and use the other for play. HOWEVER - it's not very sustainable in the long term or even medium term, it's tricky in my experience once the older one wants to do something quiet but the younger ones are careering around with Duplo or when the older two want to play delicate Lego, or if one wants a friend over.

It could also be much harder or easier depending on personalities. 3 quiet children including an easy baby much better than an extreme introvert, an social butterfly and a colicky baby

Personally I'd start looking but being very fussy, because for a few years you're likely fine, but then it will get hard.

Depends on lots of factors. DS2 really suffered from sharing with DS1 (which they did until they were 4 and 6).

Moving and having their own rooms was brilliant. And DS1 was diagnosed with AdHD aged 9 which went a long way to explain it. DS1 didn't care about having his own room but DS2 needed his own space.

You say that the 2 bed houses are the same size as the 3 bed houses, so is it possible to convert the bigger bedroom into a double and a single. Them depending on if you have a girl or a boy you can then put the 2 girls/boys in the double and rue 3rd child in the smaller room?

As you have a dd and Ds they won't be sharing indefinitely. You could look at dividing their room when you know if it's a boy or girl you're having, and give a smaller space to the one who will have their own room. If your older kids are still small now, then you wouldn't need to do that for another couple of years. The 3 could share a room for a while assuming baby sleeps well and doesn't disturb the older 2.

Fine for another few years. Small children often prefer sharing, mine chose to, even though we had another room until eldest was 7 or 8.

It's probably ok while they are young if the room is big enough but as they near double figures I can't imagine it would work.

It wouldn't be ideal a very small child sharing with school age children either.

I think you need to move in the next couple of years.

I shared with 3 sisters, it was stressful at times overall I've only good memories of the experience.
On rainy days we'd get on our bunk-beds and read to each other.
You can always convert in the future when the eldest is a teenager.

We did it, till our youngest was 4. We have two years between each of them. It was becoming a squash by the time we moved though. We were quite relaxed about sleeping arrangements though, and quite often a parent ended up in a bunk bed for half the night, when one or two smalls ended up in our bed!