AIBU three children in a two bedroom house

[NameChanged15729]

I’ve name changed for this am I’m wary of anyone recognising it’s me.

I’ve not long found out that I’m pregnant with dc3. As you’ve probably worked out we live in a two bedroom house. At first I was ok with it but a couple of weeks have passed and I’m getting nervous. Not helped by my mum insisting that I’m going to have to move even though a big part of my childhood was sharing a room with my sister in a shoebox house .

The positives are it’s a relatively big two bed. The two beds in this estate are actually the same size as the three beds but the rooms are partitioned differently. We have a shower room/toilet downstairs and a bathroom/toilet upstairs so I’m not worried about toilet scrambles. No dining room but a decent sized kitchen with a 6 person table in there. The bedrooms upstairs are both big and I’m not worried about putting three children in the same room but I seem to be worried now about judgement from others. I knew we would have to move eventually as I have a dd and a ds so that’s always been the case but I’d like a few more years here first. It’s a lovely house on a lovely little street and I’d be sad to leave.

Am I being unreasonable to inflict this on my children and should I start searching for a new house or is my plan of staying put for a few years reasonable?

we've done this for a long time, it's fine. You have a few years

My friend had 3 kids in a tiny two bedroom starter home and even now the kids are grown up the 2 boys still live there ! I have no idea how they have done it. There isn't even room in the second bedroom for 3 beds, so they must have always had one kid in their room. When the eldest ( a girl ) needed her own space, my friend and her dh slept on a sofa bed so she could have their room. I find it stressful even thinking about it and the house was a terrible state as no storage. So I think if you have 2 large bedrooms you will be fine for a couple of years.

I know 2 couples with 4 kids in 2 bed houses. The first is incredible, super organised, great routine, kids are angels, I honestly don’t know how she does it, she has two bunks in a big room.
Second couple are the complete opposite, the house is always trashed, the kids are always naughty, screaming and shouting so I think whether it works for you could purely be down to how you parent and how organised you are?!

Your kids won’t know any difference if they’ve always shared. Take action when they’re teens. Have you go a dining room you can use as a bedroom?

@NameChanged15729

I’ve thought about partitioning one of the rooms to make two but it probably wouldn’t solve the issue of having to walk through the others room to get to theirs. The attic is basically unusable as well.

It looks like it will be doable at least until the baby needs it’s own space and then I’ll have to have a rethink. It’s not helping that dh is convinced that it’s twins! In that case it would be an immediate move!

Me and my best friend both lived in 2 bed houses where the main room is partitioned and you had to walk through one to get to the others, my parents house is still like that for my siblings! Never bothered me, I had the front room because my younger siblings went to bed earlier, they shared. I moved out and now the eldest is in the back room as he is a teenager… nearly an adult actually 😳 we did have a dining room downstairs that was rarely used but that’s gone away with now to make a kitchen diner. We had a big age gap though so only about 4 years of 3 ‘kids’ sharing a room (partitioned into 2). Only thing is they have a lot of stuff there so just try and be a bit more minimalist! Maybe when they’re older you can get a fancy shed at the bottom of the garden for them to have their own spaces

Friends of ours lived in a small 2 bed terrace with 5 children when their youngest was a toddler! Lounge/diner and small kitchen downstairs, 1 bathroom and 2 bedrooms upstairs. They put 4 children in one room in 2 bunk beds and the baby in with them.

Our three shared until eldest was about 11. They did try the box room before but kept moving back in with their brother and sister as was missing out on the bedtime chats. Now it would be very hard as youngest is asleep by 9pm and eldest wide awake until 11pm.

So, you know that you need to move at some point. You probably have 2 years from now until the baby moves out of your room at 18 months?

Start looking. You have 2 years (minimum) to find the right place - even if it is twins! You can do this at a leisurely pace and find what suits, rather than in a rush later on.

The baby can be in with you for the first 6 months to a year. But I would definitely partition off the largest bedroom into two smaller ones.

It’ll be fine until your eldest starts the later years of primary and they all start needing space to have friends over etc. We had four children in a three bed and divided the large room to make two bedrooms when they got older. This might be an option depending on how the room and windows are positioned. Even in a three bed two would have to share.

We have vague plans to do the same as you are, although due to leasehold we will hope to move out after third is born.

I shared with my two brothers growing up and had a jolly old time.

Still, I worried myself into a tizz when we were simultaneously purchasing and planning to try for our second. It was not helped by a well known children’s charity recommending that children not share their rooms for long for their mental well-being.

In the end, I thought “bollocks to that!” We’d worked and scrimped and gone without for years and years including all the way through our uni days to get our deposit together. And the benefits of us being home owners, no matter how little the home, will be much more valuable to them later on than us renting so they can have their own rooms all the way through childhood. A bit of sibling bickering is to be expected 😆😁

They’re very tiny people as well!

I think it is only fine for the short term. I had to share a room with two of my three siblings, we survived and I got along with my two siblings, but I would rather have had my own room and some privacy from time to time. My mother used to refer to a previous house we had and she used to say the second (of two) bedrooms was so big we could’ve all fitted in there, I used to reply, we don’t want to all be in one bedroom, but she totally missed that point, it was a matter of square feet only. Like maybe some people on the thread, probably the ones who never had to share a bedroom with multiple siblings.

I dont even think this comes down to bedrooms but more overall house size/footprint. A 2 bed house usually has a small garden, one bathroom and not always a separate toilet, and downstairs often quite a small kitchen & living room with little space for a dining table or toys.

For me the big questions would be:

Is there space for 5 people to eat a meal together around the table?
Is the living room going to feel cramped or crowded with 5 people?
Is there space for 3 childrens toys, bags, books, clothes storage?

I would be looking at every single room and planning how to accommodate 5 people in a small space - clever storage, drop leaf table, stackable dining chairs, underbed drawers, wall mounting tv to create living room space, as well as where everyone will sleep.