Deleted threads

[HeyGirlHeyBoy]

Oh ffs, another thread where op, apparently 40+ posts in, realises information could be identifying so a thread posters have bothered to reply to is gone. Always seems to be when the resounding response is YABU. Funny that I'm sure I'm not the only one put off responding by this happening so often.

Yep, the amount of threads where the deletion message says that the OP "had privacy concerns" or was worried they were to identifiable IRL when their OP is "AIBU to expect my DH not to go cycling do his super secret hobby for the whole weekend now we have children?"

Firstly having a cycling hobby attending husband and children is not identifying.

Secondly, this is an anonymous forum - create a new account or name change if you don't want a connection to your previous posting history but otherwise, any identifying information is only provided by the OP and therefore they need to consider that before they post, not 400+ posts in when they realise that 398 of them think they ABU

It is annoying. MNHQ say they’re looking behind the scenes, but the thread never comes back.

This unfortunately happens a lot, the OP does not get the replies they wanted, has a tantrum and MNHQ delete the thread.

@nimbuscloud

I read that the pissing in the nursery garden thread was picked up by the Sun

Why on earth would they be interested in that?!

"information could be identifying" - as in every reply said the poster was being unreasonable

What I’d like, on those where MNHQ thinks it’s fishy, is to be told what they found out.

if posters are concerned they've said too much, why not just change their name for future use?
I'm always amused by the ones that name change, then come back to discuss the comments & forget that they name changed for the OP and have changed back.

Incredibly annoying. Clearly because they were 100% convinced they were right and then got annoyed about having their arse handed to them on a plate. AIBU is infamous for pulling no punches so why be surprised?

It does make me laugh when people it’s identifying that it comes out they live in London, their husbands a dick and he’s a cyclist. It really isn’t!

It should be a rule that Mumsnet forbid the removal of any thread

I don't agree witht that - they should maybe a bit more cuatious about what they delete (but we don't know how many they delete of what's been reported to them).
in the past I have reported threads occasionally; the most recent one I recall the OP had two threads going at the same time that contradicted each other and appeared to have MH issues.

Maybe a regular post from MN (monthly?) on KPIs of threads.deleted etc and other key stats. I'm sure they do prepare this info to monitor performance internally.

well, I sort of agree, but I have started a thread a couple of times and then regretted it.
Not because everyone said YABU, but becuase I posted in the heat of the moment.
eg, thread about a row with dh, and the next day I realised it was both unfair and identifiable.
or thread about dd, due to the quetsions people asked, I ended up giving away more information than I was comfortable with.

But I said on the thread, sorry, bad decision on my part and asked MNHQ to remove.

I am pretty open on here, I don't say anything that I wouldn't/haven't said in real life, and I have posted about my city in the past, so I think it would be easy for rl people to find me. I am happy with that 99% of the time, but those two threads, I realised I would be upset if dh/dd read them.

Why does it bother you all? Genuine question? Why is it an issue if someone gets their thread pulled? There's plenty more to read

@opalescent

Why does it bother you all? Genuine question? Why is it an issue if someone gets their thread pulled? There's plenty more to read

For me it is when a thread has moved on from the initial OP and is more of a general discussion around the topic where many people may have provided long and/or detailed advice or constructive support, whether to the OP or other posters who have posted that they are having similar issues only to have that effort go poof because the OP has decided, 400 posts into a thread, that they don't like being told they ABU and go crying to MNHQ that the thread is identifying or they have IRL concerns that they may be identified because they posted about having two children and a DH with a hobby and it all gets pulled without warning.

There's not even a way to access your own posts so that you can save the information and/or advice you spent time collating so that if there's another similar thread in future, or one of the other posters creates their own thread, that you can repost the information without having to rewrite it all.

Then there's people who find that having threads they post on deleted means that they are less likely to put in the effort to help/advise other posters in future, because why put in effort to help people if there's a chance it will just be deleted for spurious reasons?

I’m annoyed that the MIL’s adoption thread has been deleted - especially as MNHQ said they’d agreed because it was ‘early days’. The thread had been going since yesterday morning and was 11 pages long!

opalescent it's not the reading, it's the fact you might have suggested something, had the op respond to it, comment on that etc, maybe go find a useful link for them, wonder if it was useful and then.. Gone! It feels like what's the point in the interaction at all and puts me off responding to any thread with any real interest. Obviously I get over it, but repeatedly, it's annoying.

I agree, it’s a shame, as that advice could help someone in a similar situation, as not everyone likes to post threads.

However, sometimes there is relentless hounding of an OP and I don’t mind those OPs getting their threads at all.

Their threads deleted at all

@SultanOfSwing

Maybe we could have a pinned post every day that would list the deleted threads so we don’t have to go searching for the ones we might have become invested in, but not yet commented on. Just some generic explanation like, “outing” “not helpful” “violates guidelines”. Anything so we don’t keep searching.

Surely @mnhq you could manage that along with the delete... or we could assume instead it was too boring and we need to dig deeper...

For example, what happened to the one about the woman who let her kid pee in the park but got in trouble when he peed in the nursery garden?

I never know if I should keep looking or assume it has been (for reasons unknown) deleted...

You don't have to comment. Just "watch thread" from the dropdown arrow at the top. You will see all deletion messages that way.

Thank you @melj1213 that makes sense, some good points

@tallduckandhandsome

I agree, it’s a shame, as that advice could help someone in a similar situation, as not everyone likes to post threads.

However, sometimes there is relentless hounding of an OP and I don’t mind those OPs getting their threads at all.

Agree totally

Ah here. Another one gone. I think it's me! Anytime I bother replying or am invested/interested in responses.... Poof!!

Are you talking about the house moving one?

It's not really surprising that the number of deleted threads is increasing given how common it is now for active threads to be shared in articles by trashy newspapers. It's one thing to share your stories/experiences/thoughts on a forum designed for parents. It's quite another to have to that information shared in newspapers and on social media sites. Whilst any information shared may not appear 'outing' to you, if there is a specific incident recounted or a conversation repeated, anyone else involved in said incident or conversation who happens to see the article could easily work out who it was. The more it's shared on social media, the more those chances increase. I've seen a couple of threads picked up in this way recently where the OP was complaining about their in-laws. Can you imagine the potential fallout?

Well this is interesting ... a zombie thread that was revived several days& pages ago

For my tuppence worth
-I agree it is frustrating when it's deleted due to a flounce by Op who didn't like yabu

However I disagree there aren't real privacy concerns that arise & with the "well they should have thought of that first" approach. Sometimes OP is asking for help about something specific, in desperation, some PPs keep nitpicking at OP misreading on other parts of her post "You haven't answered the question OP" so OP ends up clarifying to stop the sharks keep circling an irrelevant point, - and voila, -OP soon regrets it as thread becomes more and more identifying. And more and more of their life is being unpicked .

I think MNHQ are absolutely right to delete a thread that they are asked to, that has become like that, no matter how frustrating it is for other MNers.

It's annoying when threads disappear for no good reason but nobody owes us content.

OP aren't you worried this thread might be identifying? I mean it's at least as identifying as half of the threads I've seen deleted for that reason

Lol morealonetime! It's not so much a zombie thread as an ongoing annoyance thread!

I'm not talking at all about genuine concerns wrt identifying people, tho I do think we all have to be aware we're on a public forum when we post. I'm talking about the flouncers who don't like the unanimous replies of yabu and those others that are likely trolls that I seem to get sucked into.