For context - we're in our early 30s living in a pretty remote and rural area, maybe 2 hours away from each other. We've been together nearly a year now.
He really wanted to book a week long camping trip but I'm super busy with work just now and can't take time off with such short notice for this month. I suggested we book next month, or do a long weekend instead, and asked what if we go away the week of my birthday?
He said 'oh, well I'm busy most of that week'. Erm... OK. I asked what he'd be busy doing and he said he and his friends will be planning a BBQ and it will probably be that week. 'We've been talking about it for the last month or so but I just didn't want to invite you until it was a concrete thing'.
I'm feeling a bit put out by this to be honest. We had issues early in the relationship because he'd invite me to come spend the weekend at his - and then he'd go out with the female friends and leave me in his house. If I asked if I could come there was always some excuse - 'Oh, I've booked a table and there won't be space for you', 'Oh, so and so is leaving town so it would be awkward to bring you to the drinks'.
We had a huge talk about this and nearly broke up over it at the time. He promised to invite me and shared messages between him and a certain female friend where she's going 'show her these messages, we're all looking forward to meeting your new girlfriend!'. We then went into lockdown again and now, a full year into dating, I've met two of his friends once for one hour... we have both met each others whole families, so I don't really know what is going on with his friends?
He told me his ex had a major issue with the 'certain female friend' and was super jealous, and they'd had arguments about the female friend calling him late at night. That doesn't happen in our relationship, but he does seem to get quite frustrated with this female friend (for example, not answering his texts immediately, not going out on walks with him, etc).
I just find the whole thing pretty suss. I cancelled an event so I could spend a weekend away with my boyfriend 3 months into us dating, and he's not willing to spend time with me in favour of an event not even planned yet.