Children's parties RSVP

[Fieldsoftripe9]

Sent out party invites to my just turned 4 year olds nursery bubble 4 weeks ago. I didn't give an rsvp deadline. Didn't hear back from 4 of the families... fair enough!

Party is tomorrow. Yesterday I had a text from one of the parents saying yes, they can come. The kid has multiple severe allergies... ok, fair enough.

Been out to buy all the food and party bag crap etc today. Then just now had a text from one of the parents saying her child can attend but can she bring her other child along as too young to be left alone.

Is this normal? I would never leave it so late to rsvp. Am I being unreasonable to be miffed they left it so late?

I'm probably going to have to say no now, I have agreed to other siblings coming as I didn't hear back from them and assumed they weren't comimg so had the extra space (max 30 in the garden)

Totally normal in terms of replies and totally normal to ask to bring along a younger sibling.

Absolutely normal I’m afraid.

Shouldn’t be normal. It’s so rude.

It’s best to put a deadline on your RSVP. I disagree it’s normal to bring younger siblings.

It’s certainly been normally in my experience! Winds me up every time. I do put an rsvp date on now but it doesn’t make much difference.
On the flip-side, I did once forget to reply to a party invitation that my child wanted to go to. Thankfully the parent checked a couple of weeks before the party as they hadn’t heard from me. So I do always check with non repliers now. But it doesn’t stop it from winding me up.
Also had someone turn up with their other children without warning or asking after I had said to other people who had asked if they could bring siblings that they couldn’t as it was a number restricted activity!!!

Did you put an RSVP by date on the invitation? If you didn't, lesson learnt for next time. If you did you'd be perfectly justified in replying "sorry, too late to accommodate anyone else".

I'm not asking that...

I'm asking if it's normal to rsvp the day before/two days before the party and be asking to bring extra guests.

I specifically asked if aibu to be annoyed they left it so late to reply

Not normal at all to leave it until the day before and very rude.

@Sylvan92

It’s best to put a deadline on your RSVP. I disagree it’s normal to bring younger siblings.

It's normal when the party-going child is too young to be left. But I assume these children are all 4 or on the cusp of turning 4, so parent doesn't need to stay.

Nah, I totally didnt think about putting an RSVP deadline for a kids party as never had to before, but lesson learnt. I've never had anyone rsvp so late on in the day.

I learnt very quickly to put an rsvp date on or I would presume they had other plans and stated no siblings after the first years party.

I hate this, particularly when I'm booking a party at soft play or something. I end up paying for no-shows, and we're not rich.

Unfortunately, yes, it's normal as in 'what usually happens'. It's not normal in the sense that it's okay to behave like that though. Even with an RSVP date, I've often received half or more of the RSVPs the night before the party. We received a party invite in the post late week (over half term, we were on holiday) and by the time we got home, it was past the RSVP date. I felt guilty even being a day late because we were on holiday. But sadly most people don't seem to care.

"Normal" as in common, unfortunately yes.
Some people are extremely rude and keep their options open in case they get a better offer.

If you didn't put a RSVP, people would have thought you were not bothered about number or something, so it's partly your fault.

Don't expect common sense and basic manners around children parties!

Next you will have all the CF confusing party and free childcare and doing the usual drop & run of their little darlings.
If that ever happens, be very firm on the pick -up time!!

Yes it is normal unfortunately. There have been times that I have had to bring my other child (to parties when parents stay) but this was pre-Covid so number not an issue and I always make sure I say that they don't need feeding or a party bag.

We usually do church hall kind of parties and I always make a couple of extra party bags in case siblings tag along.

YANBU to be annoyed with no replies

but YABU for not giving an rsvp deadline and also for not checking much earlier.
you are organising it so it's your responsibility to check the invites even got there!

I don't send paper invites anymore.
it's a hassle, they get lost, the dog ate it.

I make sure I have up to date phone numbers and text the parents.
usually I get a reply within hours or max 24 hours.
if no reply within a week I try to reach them again.
if still nothing I'd assume they are not coming but honestly that's never happened.

sorry you are in this situation but it's partly your fault

It's not unusual, but it shouldn't be considered "normal" as it's bad manners. Also don't be surprised if people turn up on the day with siblings in tow assuming it's fine. One thing I haven't missed during covid-restrictions is kids birthday party related cheeky- fuckery.

When you read how many people laugh at the idea of "bad manners" and think themselves above them!

There's also posters who pretended they didn't know you had to give a reply when they received a RSVP (There's a point you can't even argue with stupid...), others who pretended you only reply if you are coming , others if you are NOT coming.

Many parents behave towards birthday parties in the same way they drive and park around schools... like complete twats basically.

Normal, but rude.
When did people become so rude?

YANBU. Hope you're going to go back to the sibling-bringing CF and tell her that due to Covid restricting numbers you can no longer accommodate any of them.

It's normal but agree it's rude.

My experience is that at least one person always cancels on the day...so you don't have to say no to them (unless you want to!) because chances are that someone won't turn up.

It's very normal, I had one mum text the evening before to say they were coming. It's also normal to have people not show and people turn up with siblings without asking.

At 4 you also need to be very clear whether parents should leave or stay as lots of people are very happy to drop 3 or 4 year olds and leave with no contact number ect.

Normal but rude/pig ignorant when not accompanied by an ‘omg I’m so sorry, I’ve just found your invitation in the bottom of his bag’. My eldest 2 are almost 22 and almost 24 - there were parents doing the same 20 years ago, it’s not a new thing sadly.

My experience is that at least one person always cancels on the day...so you don't have to say no to them (unless you want to!) because chances are that someone won't turn up.

I'd be grateful with the person cancelling, as opposed to the parent heard saying that their child has been puking all night but is fine now and would be so upset to miss the party!

Unfortunately it's normal, you get to know who are the unreliable parents.
I had one parent not reply so assumed they weren't coming, she did turn up though halfway through the party with the invited child and its 3 siblings who all went and sat down for food, luckily I'd done a buffet and not sandwich boxes so there was enough food.
They then came over at the end and joined the queue for party bags and I didn't have enough of those, the Mom told them that they couldn't have one but I felt awful seeing their disappointed faces.