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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go out with a cough (after testing negative)?

99 replies

MooseBreath · 10/06/2021 12:45

12mo DS and I have a cough. We had PCR tests on Monday and have since received negative results. DS is allowed back at nursery and I am allowed back at work.

We went to the playground to go on the swings this morning and we received so many dirty looks from other parents. I overheard one mum tell her toddler to stay away from the swings (all 6 of them!) because she would get the virus. I didn't say anything because I was keeping my distance from people.

But honestly, it's a cold! Are we supposed to just stay inside with colds now? Because DS started nursery just over a month ago and is picking up every bug around. He's pretty much spent the first 11 months of his life hiding away - surely it's ok that we go out and about with a cold now? AIBU?

Yes, yes, I know this could go in the Covid topic, but it's literally about not having Covid.

OP posts:
fashionablefennel · 10/06/2021 16:45

@jajabanks

This would have been a none issue before covid. I would go out.
Not strictly true.

There has always been some very pissed off people (mainly parents) about others spreading germs and colds in schools/ clubs/ offices...

And it's not Covid most people are worried about, it's the amount of faff that you have to deal with if you ever get a coughing child at home.

Starlight86 · 10/06/2021 16:46

@fashionablefennel

Starlight86

well, if you naturally don't move away from coughing people, pandemic or not, one can wonder about your idea of hygiene 🤷

Pretending that "coughing" is a common cold issue, in the middle of the current pandemic, is just stupid.

Again your putting words into my post.

I never said it wasn't NATURAL to move away, what isn't natural is making a big deal of it, staring and loudly making remarks.

You seem to be struggling to answer directly so instead are making up scenarios in your head as to how i live my life and assuming.

Nietzschethehiker · 10/06/2021 16:50

@HareofEasttown

Of course you stay in. No question. Why would you want to worry others? Also, they won't want your cough!
You aren't honestly serious ? I mean prior to Covid would you honestly have stayed in for a cough to protect others from germs?

This is honestly bonkers . I can see why she might have wanted to be extra cautious of course because we don't know if she had someone CEV at home. There is basic politeness though.

But some of these replies suggesting you stay in for a negative result and a cough are genuinely worrying.

There is a point where this is getting concerning. I am the furthest thing in the world from anti vaxx, the government is controlling us rhetoric (I mean mainly because of course the bloody government are controlling us to a point ....literally in the job description) we are vaccinated and fully on board with the whole shebang.

I am not in any way going to keep my DC and I in just assuage others worries. If we don't have a negative test absolutely we will happily isolate for as long as is needed. I would not risk passing it on. But to stop others from worrying? No not remotely reasonable. That's insane.

HugeAckmansWife · 10/06/2021 16:52

No I don't think it's 'about time' we all started trying to live in hermetically sealed bubbles and get arsey with people who accidentally breathe in their vicinity. I don't think we should stay off work and school with every little sniffle. We need to function as a working society, accept that occasionally we get ill as a natural consequence of not living like hermits and that we need occasional illness to keep our immune systems functioning.

Crunchymum · 10/06/2021 16:52

Both DC2 and DC3 have had coughs (not even at the same bloody time!) recently and despite negative PCR tests we've kept them off school / nursery until cough had subsided a bit.

Fact is even a non Covid cough is a PITA at the moment. If you give someone your "cold" and they end up with Covid symptoms then they end up having to isolate and test etc.

I don't know what the answer is. DC2 is prone to coughs and I'm dreading the uncertainty of having the test and isolate but in the current climate I wouldn't take anyone with an obvious / hacking non Covid cough anywhere non essential.

Winkywonkydonkey · 10/06/2021 16:54

We've had this as also have DC in nursery. I just shout loudly across the playground "don't worry we tested negative so it's not covid, it's probably SARS" and then you get the swings to yourselves.

SpnBaby1967 · 10/06/2021 16:55

I'm fed up people saying how "in the past" selfish arseholes went to work when they're full of cold spreading it like some workaholic martyr.

This is awful for two reasons

  1. very many people arent paid for the first few days off sick
  2. many companies put you on report if you're off sick for more than 2 separate occasions.

I get colds at least 4 times a year, some worse than others. 9 times out of 10 I'll still go to work because I cant be put on sick report then and it was "just a cold" so I cant justify not being paid for something a couple of paracetamol can make feel somewhat better. That doesnt make me selfish, that makes this country's sickness policies selfish.

One thing I hope covid teaches these companies is that their sickness policies need to be updated.

fashionablefennel · 10/06/2021 16:59

Starlight86

You are the one making up scenario, all the OP wrote is that someone told their toddler to stay away from the swings (ie the coughing child) because of the virus.

The only one "making a big deal" is the OP (and you).

I still fail to see what is unreasonable about that.

AlternativePerspective · 10/06/2021 17:01

Of course you stay in. No question. Why would you want to worry others? Also, they won't want your cough! maybe you should be the one to stay in to avoid anyone with a dreaded cough…

I take a drug for my heart which has a dry cough as one of the side effects. If people think that after a year of shielding and being fully vaccinated I should be the one to stay in in case they are worried then frankly they can get stuffed.

If people are that worried about encountering someone with a cough that they feel they’re the ones in the right, then those people need to be the ones to stay at home.

Whyhello · 10/06/2021 17:02

YANBU. Maybe we should receive a sticker or badge to wear at all times saying ‘I tested negative, it’s just a cold’ so everyone knows we aren’t plague carriers.

Vanannabananna · 10/06/2021 17:02

We had this with my 3 year old. I offered to show them the negative test result I received by email. They never took up my offer but stopped them giving the look!

She did actually have covid back in November as we tested and isolated accordingly so I do know the fear!

InnaBun · 10/06/2021 17:07

I thought you had to isolate even with a negative test. Has that changed? YANBU if it has as coughs are an everyday thing!

Original poster
MooseBreath · 10/06/2021 17:12

@InnaBun You don't need to isolate once you have a negative test result, unless a new symptom starts that wasn't there before you tested.

OP posts:
HSHorror · 10/06/2021 17:16

Tests are not that accurate so something like 1/3 or 1/5 will actually have covid when testing negative

fashionablefennel · 10/06/2021 17:17

good grief, the whole point of getting a test is not to have to isolate!

CuntAmongstThePigeons · 10/06/2021 17:21

I have really bad hay fever atm AND a smokers cough. People have been avoiding me for months now.

It's very tiresome I agree, although I actually quite like having more personal space. You win some, you lose some 😂

FTEngineerM · 10/06/2021 17:28

But maybe we didn't have the balance correct in the first place

Purely going by the fact as a species were still here after, what, 150,000 years then I’d say everything is just fine. We survived before everybody antibac’d everything and we will after, I hope.

InnaBun · 10/06/2021 17:39

@fashionablefennel

good grief, the whole point of getting a test is not to have to isolate!
Alright! I didn't know this! Calm down.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 10/06/2021 17:39

Its madness OP. DS has had a lingering cough. What my mum would have simply termed "catarrh".... that phlegminess young kids have on account of post nasal drip from seemingly constant snotty noses. He has been PCR tested negative but I too have faced constant dirty looks and a friend refusing to sit in my garden (with DS upstairs in bed).

InnaBun · 10/06/2021 17:39

[quote MooseBreath]@InnaBun You don't need to isolate once you have a negative test result, unless a new symptom starts that wasn't there before you tested.[/quote]
Thanks :)

SkedaddIe · 10/06/2021 20:33

Did you have your negative result stapled to your forehead?

It's polite to wear a mask with covid symptoms, even outdoors.

YABU to think that people should want to risk catching your virus just because it's not covid, especially when theyre not mind readers and don't know what the hell you got.

Newuser82 · 10/06/2021 21:00

@Whineandwine

I wonder how it is for people with persistent coughs due to underlying health conditions like Asthma. Must get very tiresome!
My son has asthma and people do understandably look when they hear him coughing. I think he should wear a sign saying I have asthma not COVID. 😂
Daisychainsandglitter · 10/06/2021 21:36

We are in exactly the same situation. My 3 year old has a terrible cough. Test results came back negative today.
DH has a day off with her tomorrow as had planned to take her to a soft play but will just take her for a walk and an ice lolly in the park.
Really tricky as people are understandably weary but you are well within your rights to go out.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 11/06/2021 12:56

Completely selfish attitude
I have a chronic cough, I wonder what people posting such silly remarks suggest I do? Never go out? Hmm

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