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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go out with a cough (after testing negative)?

99 replies

MooseBreath · 10/06/2021 12:45

12mo DS and I have a cough. We had PCR tests on Monday and have since received negative results. DS is allowed back at nursery and I am allowed back at work.

We went to the playground to go on the swings this morning and we received so many dirty looks from other parents. I overheard one mum tell her toddler to stay away from the swings (all 6 of them!) because she would get the virus. I didn't say anything because I was keeping my distance from people.

But honestly, it's a cold! Are we supposed to just stay inside with colds now? Because DS started nursery just over a month ago and is picking up every bug around. He's pretty much spent the first 11 months of his life hiding away - surely it's ok that we go out and about with a cold now? AIBU?

Yes, yes, I know this could go in the Covid topic, but it's literally about not having Covid.

OP posts:
Ohhok · 10/06/2021 13:11

Think about how many people will need to get a covid test when you go out and spread your wonderful cold to everyone. What a waste of resources.

Littlelegs2 · 10/06/2021 13:13

Op I feel for you . I have cough/cold that last for weeks. Its always been that way for me . But I have to take my children to school so I have no choice but to go out in public . Also what about the people with hay-fever don't they get runny nose /watering eyes and coughing. People are scared of coughing/clearing their throat. As much as its been an awful time people do cough it's just how our body's are.

Bunnyfuller · 10/06/2021 13:14

Have we reached a point where we need to self isolate for a cold?!

No. Fgs.

ElderMillennial · 10/06/2021 13:15

I think it's understandable people would be wary of someone coughing.

YANBU to go to the playground but they are not U to want to stay away from you as they don't know you had a positive test.

TheGoogleMum · 10/06/2021 13:17

You're allowed out, they're allowed to be wary that your child might not have been tested and keep their distance

Legomania · 10/06/2021 13:20

Utterly ridiculous of those saying that people should stay home with a cold.

whatswithtodaytoday · 10/06/2021 13:21

I'd probably avoid playgrounds unless they were empty with a coughing child, it's not worth the hassle and guilty feeling. My two year old is getting something every couple of weeks at the moment (and passing it to me) - he's had four Covid tests in the last four months to allow him back into nursery. All negative, but pretty much endless coughs. It's so annoying.

elfycat · 10/06/2021 13:25

I cough because it's part of my hayfever. I take antihistamines if I'm going out to supress it a bit.

But I can understand people avoiding you even if you only have a cold. If they catch that cold they will have to go and be tested and need to isolate until the result, and no-one enjoys the test. I would avoid someone with a cold for that reason alone.

YANBU to go out after a negative test, but people are NBU to avoid you, Covid or not.

SilverGoblin · 10/06/2021 13:26

I have had a cough for seven or eight years and it can really go off when it wants to. The more you try and suppress it, the more catastrophic it comes out.

It's a very common side effect to some pills I am on. Plus, I have always suffered from dry mouth and throat anyway. I can tell you, the last fifteen months have been interesting.

Oh boy, the knots I have tied myself up into, trying not to scare the shit out of random members of the general public!

It's as if no cough causers ever existed before and if they did, they ceased being a thing the moment Covid arose.

museumum · 10/06/2021 13:28

I had tree pollen hayfever last month which goes for my throat and makes me cough (it's mostly passed now) - I made any excuse to explain this to people, if i coughed in a shop or queue i always said 'sorry, but don't worry it's hayfever' it feels a bit socially awkward but i'd rather explain than have other people worry.

SpnBaby1967 · 10/06/2021 13:28

It's just insane!

I have a cough all summer due to hayfever and asthma. I refuse to wander around trying not to scare the nervous among us.

BetterThanKleenex · 10/06/2021 13:29

YANBU but I can understand why she was wary. At least you know you and her kids are safe and did the right thing.

DrHWeasley · 10/06/2021 13:32

YANBU to go out, DD is in her third month of coughing (multiple negative PCRs) and my asthma manifests as a cough, so we'd be in for months on end. As long as you're practicing good hygiene and respecting other people's wishes to social distance it's fine. If anyone looks especially worries I just tell them it's asthma and we've had negative PCRs.

SingingWaffleDoggy · 10/06/2021 13:35

We are in week 6 of a cold/ cough in this house Sad we’ve all had it now and are left with the lingering cough. I’ve got a newborn (toddler’s cold started while I was in hospital) and have had to go out for various appointments etc and luckily my childminder is sensible.
It wasn’t kind for the other mother to say that out loud. However, I don’t blame her for taking precautions and not sharing equipment as she doesn’t know you’ve had negative tests.
I’d feel a bit miffed but shrug it off.

PrinnyPree · 10/06/2021 13:52

You're allowed out but don't get upset that people don't want to catch Covid or even a cold off you and are keeping their distance. My 1yr old boy has only just started nursery and has caught a cold already and it's taken weeks to shift, if I can avoid him getting another I will do everthing I can. I've also been taking milton anti bac wipes out with me to wipe anything he slobbers on. ;P

AlanThePig · 10/06/2021 14:18

I feel you OP! I have a hacking cough and a cold at the moment. I've tested negative.
Fortunately my cough is mostly at night, but my throat has been so sore I've been hoarse. The few occasions I've had to go out this week have involved me explaining it's just a cough and cold and not Covid repeatedly.

I think people have forgotten that we have normal coughs as well.

RestingPandaFace · 10/06/2021 14:20

YANBU but people will treat you like a pariah. I have as persistant asthma cough, if I didn’t go out with a cough I’d never leave the house. I’ve had some truest filthy looks from people when coughing (usually into a mask)

MasterBeth · 10/06/2021 14:28

Can’t believe this thread. I have been cautious, rule-abiding and wary throughout Covid so I know both that regular testing and isolation is the way to defeat the disease and that outdoor transmission is low.

If you have tested negative and you are outdoors, please feel free to cough. Of course you should cough into a tissue if you have one or the inside of your elbow if you don’t.

therocinante · 10/06/2021 14:35

I didn't like going near people with a cough pre-Covid and tbh in the middle of a pandemic with respiratory symptoms I'd be teaching my kids to err on the side of caution too. Don't think she was BU for that really.

I've currently got a cold, can't stop coughing - I've avoided going out and about as much as possible because it's just bad manners to be spreading my germs everywhere.

MadeOfStarStuff · 10/06/2021 14:36

YANBU, some people have permanent coughs which are unrelated to covid, should those people not have left their houses since last February?

On the other hand viral coughs like yours are likely to still be contagious even if not covid. Which means more people having to isolate and miss school/work until they test negative, which for some people may have a major impact on them and their finances.

HazeyJaneII · 10/06/2021 14:48

Of course you can go out and about
But people als have the right to step away if they feel uncomfortable, as they can't possibly know whether you're negative or not.
..and no it's not being a big scared nelly and passing on fear to our children - in our case ds was shielding because he is medically vulnerable. He isn't too scared to go out, but he has been taught to be as safe as he can possible be by his school and by us.

SaltySkulls · 10/06/2021 14:54

As someone else said, your "just a cold" can easily be someone else's week in bed feeling rotten.

Always amazes me how thick people are coming in to the office with their colds, no doubt acting like heroes, "I'm sick but I'm like such a workaholic so I'm here even though I feel horrific, aren't I so amazing?🤧". No, you're just a selfish prick who has decided you're somehow more important than everyone else in the office and now we might end up with two off sick as dogs cause you couldn't just stay home for a few days.
As an asthmatic, I could get that on my chest and lie there wheezing and having asthma attacks for a week or two, but who the fuck cares🤷‍♀️

FTEngineerM · 10/06/2021 14:54

Same situation for us. DS has caught everything possible at nursery and every time we do a covid test it’s negative and we move on. I went swimming the other day and I was almost bursting holding in a cough whilst the woman asked me if anyone in the household had any symptoms.

I do think people need to relax a bit, we are humans with immune systems after all. It’s a tiny percentage that die.

DappledThings · 10/06/2021 14:58

Of course you don't need to stay inside or away from playgrounds. Coughs and colds are normal. DC aren't being excluded from either school or nursery for having a cold thank goodness.

If I saw someone near me coughing I would assume it was a cold/asthma/hayfever/just a bloody cough. Seems a lot of people assume the opposite and it's covid unless proven otherwise.

Pongo101 · 10/06/2021 14:58

Yanbu about being able to go outside with a cough. So many things can cause a cough. Smokers cough. Asthma cough. Allergy cough. Cold cough. Fly flew down my throat cough.

But... To be honest I don't event want your non-Covid cough because once I catch it, it means dragging my whole family down for a test and dd getting kicked out of nursery for a few days.

So I would still avoid a cougher right now and anyone else who looks a bit sickly