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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want dh to take/throw away or destroy dds cuddly dog comforter type thing???

56 replies

hayCHingleBells · 20/11/2007 11:45

DD1 is 7.
She has a cuddly dog that she is totally addicted too. Hes been everywhere with us since she was around 5months old.

She sucks her thumb holding the dog and stroking its ear up and down her nose.

She doesnt do it all day long. Its mostly cuddling up on the sofa time or bedtime or if she is upset.
She is quite happy to leave him at home etc if told, but will try to sneak him out with her if she can get away with it.

Dp hates this dog. Always has. He has now stated that after christmas she wont be allowed to have it anymore

I want to say no way jose`!
AIBU?

Will she ever give him up/ grow out of it by herself?
Does she need to be forced into it?
Or should we just let her keep it (that would be my choice)

OP posts:
lucy5 · 20/11/2007 11:47

I would say let her keep it, she will grow out of it when she is ready. My mum has still got my stinky old rabbit!

Original poster
hayCHingleBells · 20/11/2007 11:53

How old where you when you grew out of it?

Im wondering how much longer i have to hear him complaining at the sight of her with it.

OP posts:
Loshad · 20/11/2007 11:54

YANBU
let her have it, she'll decide when to surrender it and she's only little still.
My ds2 was totally addicted to his mole, had to repair it's nose loads of times because he destroyed it be stroking/sucking it, gradually mole found his way to the end of the bed, then to the bedroom floor, then down a floor to his little brother's bedroom.
honestly she will remember it's forcible removal for ever - my stepfather had his teddy burned when he had scarlet fever at about age 7, he's now nearly 77 and still will mention it.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 20/11/2007 11:55

What is your DH's objection to this toy? You say he's always hated it, even when your DD was a baby, so it's not just because of your DD's age?

kindersurprise · 20/11/2007 11:55

If it is a comfort to her then I would let it go. She will grow out of it.

Could he compromise, he stops nagging about it and she agrees to leave it in bed during the day?

anniemac · 20/11/2007 11:58

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EmsMum · 20/11/2007 12:00

Definitely keep!

My mum wanted to get rid of my liony. Its stuffing was coming out and it smelled funny from having milk spilt on it. Dad, bless him, hid liony away in his desk drawer.

I'd say, keep in bedroom but if DH is adamant, then hide the precious beast away. Your DD will love you forever for it.
(OMG, started welling up at memory of dear old Dad)

anniemac · 20/11/2007 12:00

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RosaLuxMundi · 20/11/2007 12:00

You stand up for your DD! Why shouldn't she keep her toy. My DD1 is 10 and has a cuddly, so do lots of her friends. They take them on sleepovers and nobody says anything. I think your DH is not only unreasonable but cruel. What on earth can his reasoning be?

anniemac · 20/11/2007 12:02

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madamez · 20/11/2007 12:02

Tell your DH to stop being a dick. She's totally entitled to hang on to her toy as long as she wants to - she will grow out of it eventually but if he takes it off her she will be deeply traumatized because there is NO way for her to interpret his actions other than cruelty and bullying.

Threadworm · 20/11/2007 12:04

Let her keep it!!!!!

Perhaps encourage her to understand that it isn't always a good idea to take it with her. But it must be safely tucked up in a place DD is happy with when it doesn't come with her.

Original poster
hayCHingleBells · 20/11/2007 12:05

I think its more the thumb sucking that goes along with the dog that he hates so much. And now that she is getting older (not a baby nor a toddler anymore) that he is more adament that he must go!

I will stand up for dd! I have already protested and am certain he wont do it if i really put my foot down. But part of me was kind of getting his drift, she is older now etc.
I wasnt sure if she would grow out of it by herself, but it seems from the posts that around 12ish it may happen.

OP posts:
RosaLuxMundi · 20/11/2007 12:08

Show him these posts, Haychee and he will probably get the message

EmsMum · 20/11/2007 12:08

If the dog goes that will probably just make your DD more reliant on her thumb!

I thumb sucked till first year in highschool.

Tell DH to back off till she's a teenager.

3Ddonut · 20/11/2007 12:09

I still remember being 'parted' from my favourite toy panda, cause it's head fell off!!!! It was replaced by a little elephant called Ellie, she is sat on top of my cupboard right now!!! and my dd gets to 'look after' her when she's upset or not well, but she always comes back!!!!

I'm not really that girly, honestly, just sentimental!!!!!!

Please let her keep it, please......

3Ddonut · 20/11/2007 12:10

now at 'grown out of it by 12'!!!! I don't cuddle her, I just have her!!!!

Pannacotta · 20/11/2007 12:12

Tell him to back off full stop!
Not good reason to take it away and your DD will be upset and feel she cant trust you/your DH if you take it away.
Whats the rush to get kids to grow up too soon, she is only 7!

anniemac · 20/11/2007 12:12

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Flame · 20/11/2007 12:13

I say that as long as it is a sleepy thing and not all day everyday, then keep it as long as possible.

I didn't realise that I had a comforter until when I moved out at 19 I insisted on taking the big pink blanket from our lounge with me

LadyVictoriaOfCakeThe2nd · 20/11/2007 12:16

dh still has his panda. he is 28!

tell dp no way and hide it if he insists.

dd1 also still has her penguin blankie. she is 7.

seeker · 20/11/2007 12:22

My mother is 87, and has not completely forgiven her mother for getting rid of her teddy bear when she was 10. If there is an afterlife, I know what the first thing my mum will say to her mum......

I think this is something that you really have to stand up against dp about - sorry. It's far too important to let go for the sake of peace. Tell him about my mum and see what he says.

EffiePerine · 20/11/2007 12:24

Can you get a spare just in case the first one is damaged/disappears?

2sugars · 20/11/2007 12:25

This is your plan.

HIDE the dog. Plan on getting dd to bed half an hour or so earlier.

DD will presumably look for dog. Dog not to be found. After 10 minutes of feigning frantic searching, enlist the help of DH.

DH will not find where you have put it. Casually throw in a 'don't worry dd, I'm sure daddy will help me find it'.

When daddy is looking in the coal scuttle, magically 'find' it.

Volia! A wonderful mummy, a daddy sooooo relieved he's not had to miss any tv and that calm has been restored across the neighbourhood. Moreover, he will hopefully realise the importance of the dog and shut up for a few years.

Iota21againAndMum22boys · 20/11/2007 12:26

IME if she loses her comforter she will find another to take its place, so your dh will have caused a lot of pain for no gain.

DS2 had an elephant - he hung onto its ear whilst thumbsucking.

Sadly the elephant was lost on a panic stricken trip to casualty.

A dog stepped up to take its place- again used in conjunction with thumbsucking.

this dog became lost in the house somewhere

another dog stepped up to take its place. The thumbsucking bit stopped at the age of 4 BTW after much parental encouragement on the advice of the dentist.

then about 3 months ago ds2, now aged 6, fell in love with another dog in a shop and this has become his new favourite comforter, although dog1 is still very much around in second place.