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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to take some cuttings from my neighbours plant...?

89 replies

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 21:35

I know that the usual answer to this is that its completely inappropriate and not ok, but im hoping that my background info might sway people into telling me its ok!

Neighbours garden is very overgrown. He is elderly and is completely housebound. All of the garden is waist high weeds, with a few overgrown plants from a time a long time ago when i assume the garden was maintained. Theres no hate for his messy garden from us, doesnt affect us at all. Other neighbours on the street moan about it but it doesnt bother us at all.

Spotted today that theres a nice plant in the garden that i remember my granny having in her garden when i was little. Its a bush like plant with little red flowers on it that we used to pretend were lipsticks. (Red petals and i think a bit of purple inside?) Not sure if anyone can tell me what its actually called from this vague description 😂

I can reach it by leaning over our fence, and as its so overgrown, could easily take some substantial cuttings without it looking like anything is missing.

So WIBU to grab some of the plant from over the fence to see if i can grow it in my garden?

If people think its acceptable, any advice on how to actually take cuttings so that they can be planted and grown? Total beginner gardener here so no real idea of what im doing!

OP posts:

nancybotwinbloom · 09/06/2021 21:36

Can't you just ask him and maybe take him a paper or something to say thank you

Burnt0utMum · 09/06/2021 21:37

Why don't you just ask him?

shouldistop · 09/06/2021 21:38

I don't understand why you wouldn't just ask?

Summersun2020 · 09/06/2021 21:38

I think it’s totally reasonable, but if it were me I’d knock on and double check it was ok. I bet he’ll appreciate the chat and it’s the friendly thing to do.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/06/2021 21:39

I would think you could ask him too!

Kentuki · 09/06/2021 21:39

Of course it’s fine. Victimless “crime”.

As to how to grow, I’m not sure. I would take a pic and put it on the gardening forum and ask for a plant ID and go from there.

PracticingPerson · 09/06/2021 21:39

Is it a fuschia? Google it for a picture, but that is red and purple and often associated with Grannies!

Can't you ask him for a cutting? That is what you should do, really.

shouldistop · 09/06/2021 21:39

But yes you would be unreasonable to steal from your neighbours garden without asking. If I saw my neighbour leaning over and cutting some of my plants I'd be furious. If they asked then I'd tell them to go ahead.

CiderJolly · 09/06/2021 21:39

Why don’t you get together with the neighbours and help him to get his garden under control? It must be awful for him to struggle without help.

Then when you’ve helped him you can ask him for a cutting.

StarryStarrySocks · 09/06/2021 21:40

Sounds like a fuschia. I think you should ask first too.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 09/06/2021 21:41

I don't think it is unreasonable to just take it but I would still probably just ask anyway out of politeness.

HalzTangz · 09/06/2021 21:42

Wouldn't it be far nicer to ask him for cuttings and offer to help him with his garden (even if just strim it all down and mow it once a while. I'm sure he would appreciate someone helping him

InnaBun · 09/06/2021 21:44

Fuschia? I'd ask if you can have it/a cutting and see if he wants you to do a bit of tidying up in return.

ShinyMe · 09/06/2021 21:44

Just ask him. He would probably enjoy the chat and be happy to let you take them. But just taking them is shitty.

As to how, it depends on the plant. You need to establish what it is so you now how to propagate. Some plants need a cutting rooted in water, or rooting compound, or soil. Some need root or bulb division, some need tubers from the base.

newnortherner111 · 09/06/2021 21:44

Talk to him, perhaps offer to cut back some of his garden in exchange?

user1493494961 · 09/06/2021 21:45

I think you have to wait until they've finished flowering before taking cuttings. Most plants have an optimum time so best to try and find out what it is.

Boaby · 09/06/2021 21:48

No advice on the cutting or how to grow from them (be interested to find out though) but I’d recommend an app called Picture This - you take a picture of the tree/plant/bush and it tells you what it is/how to care for it etc. Was great when we moved into our new house and didn’t know what was a weed and what could possibly be a nice plant.

Squiz81 · 09/06/2021 21:50

If it’s a fuchsia you can take cuttings now. But I also think you should knock and ask - he’d probably love a chat

WhereTheWildlingsLive · 09/06/2021 21:51

Please knock on his door and ask him - my dad was housebound in his last months and a neighbourly knock and a chat (even followed by a request for a cutting) would've v really given his day a focus point.

Original poster

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 21:52

Just googled fuschia and that is the plant! Is it known as a granny plant? I think it looks lovely!

I would ask him bit he seems a bit of a recluse. We've been here 3 years and only seen him once briefly through the window. So not sure how he would take interactions or attempts to make friends.

In regard to his garden, we would be totally willing to help him cut it back, but have been hesitant to ask for the same reasons above, we have absolutely no idea if hes friendly or not. Our gardening skills and equipment would allow us to cut back the massively overgrown hedge, and strim the grass/weeds, but its just the initial chat and permission that weve been reluctant to do.

But it does make sense that if we go for it, knock and offer to help cut it back, then it would be easier to drop into convo if i could take a cutting.

OP posts:

Breadcheesebread · 09/06/2021 21:53

It's not a victimless crime.
It's stealing someone else's property.
It's not been abandoned. It still belongs to your neighbour.

If he is housebound then maybe offer to tidy his garden up in exchange for some of the plant.

You will probably make his day.

PracticingPerson · 09/06/2021 21:54

Yes Fuschias were very popular with people in my gran's day. Still popular now.

I think it would be easier to ask for a cutting, explain you love them because of your grandmother - and then offer to help with the garden. I think it is very nice to explain about how you remember the plant from childhood. Hope he is amenable.

If not - you can get Fuschias quite cheaply so all is not lost!

ProbablyProbing · 09/06/2021 21:55

100% just ask. Maybe he's not a recluse but is just lonely? You don't get to steal from someone because you're too scared to ask them. I think he'd BU to say no, but YABU to take it without asking (obviously).

chickychicchic · 09/06/2021 21:56

@ChatterMonkey

Just googled fuschia and that is the plant! Is it known as a granny plant? I think it looks lovely!

I would ask him bit he seems a bit of a recluse. We've been here 3 years and only seen him once briefly through the window. So not sure how he would take interactions or attempts to make friends.

But it does make sense that if we go for it, knock and offer to help cut it back, then it would be easier to drop into convo if i could take a cutting.

He might also be super lonely and that's why he seems reclusive? No harm in reaching out and talking to him about the plant he'll probably have some stories to tell you about his garden my grandad loved his.

MissKeithsNeice · 09/06/2021 21:57

My Nana had that plant too. I didn't realise how powerfully I associated it with her. I guess its just so different to other plants that it just stuck in my head as a kid.

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