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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to take some cuttings from my neighbours plant...?

89 replies

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 21:35

I know that the usual answer to this is that its completely inappropriate and not ok, but im hoping that my background info might sway people into telling me its ok!

Neighbours garden is very overgrown. He is elderly and is completely housebound. All of the garden is waist high weeds, with a few overgrown plants from a time a long time ago when i assume the garden was maintained. Theres no hate for his messy garden from us, doesnt affect us at all. Other neighbours on the street moan about it but it doesnt bother us at all.

Spotted today that theres a nice plant in the garden that i remember my granny having in her garden when i was little. Its a bush like plant with little red flowers on it that we used to pretend were lipsticks. (Red petals and i think a bit of purple inside?) Not sure if anyone can tell me what its actually called from this vague description 😂

I can reach it by leaning over our fence, and as its so overgrown, could easily take some substantial cuttings without it looking like anything is missing.

So WIBU to grab some of the plant from over the fence to see if i can grow it in my garden?

If people think its acceptable, any advice on how to actually take cuttings so that they can be planted and grown? Total beginner gardener here so no real idea of what im doing!

OP posts:

goneroguetoday · 09/06/2021 21:59

Yabu for knowing how to grow a plant from a cutting, but not knowing the name of a fuschia!!

Merchymor · 09/06/2021 21:59

I think it would be really, really rude to do that without asking.

PixieLaLa · 09/06/2021 21:59

Haha brilliant not the story I was expecting from the title, YANBU snip away!

Original poster

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 22:01

I dont know how to grow a plant from a cutting, i just know that its possible!

Every year my granny used to give my mum cuttings, she had no interest in gardening so made a half hearted attempt to put them in the ground and they wouldnt grow.

So i know its possible and that its a 'thing' but have no idea how to do it!

OP posts:

Original poster

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 22:02

@pixieLaLa what story were you expecting?? 🤣

OP posts:

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 09/06/2021 22:05

My local Morrisons are doing fuchsias for £1 at the moment, if that's nationwide just go and buy yourself a selection

I find their plants very good, some I bought in the first lockdown are doing really well this year

1Morewineplease · 09/06/2021 22:08

Just ask him. He'd probably be delighted that you asked.

Marshmallow91 · 09/06/2021 22:08

I echo everyone else in saying go round and as "payment" help weed his garden. I help weed my neighbours garden because he's almost 80, and the man on the other side is even older, and is literally housebound. He's not left his front door since I've lived here (6 years) - i suspect it's at least 15 years by what he says, and he has a large, overgrown garden that I try to get done at least once a year. We occasionally stop by to chat with him too, and he asks about our daughter. Both are lovely men, but both would probably take offence by someone taking stuff from their garden without permission.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 09/06/2021 22:08

Just ask. The vast majority of people will say yes, no problem. If this person objects when you ask, then they will object to you doing it on the sly as well.

Wallabyone · 09/06/2021 22:10

I would definitely ask him-he is probably lonely. It made me chuckle to read 'we don't know if he's friendly' as though he's a dog 🙈 He would probably be happy for some human contact, and if he's not then at least you've tried.

Original poster

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 22:10

Yes it might be worth just buying a plant of it, which im guessing will be easier to grow than a cutting anyway.

And i will still offer to at least cut back the neighbours hedge, garden bin collection is coming up and quite like using the hedge cutters, so can fill the bin all ready to get emptied, and make contact with the neighbour with no ulterior motives for cuttings!

OP posts:

ShinyMe · 09/06/2021 22:13

Well you won't know if he's reclusive or shy or unfriendly til you ask! It's not difficult, just knock, say hello, introduce yourself and ask. The worst that can happen is he says no, and then you know.

nancybotwinbloom · 09/06/2021 22:16

When I moved into my house I knocked at my neighbour just to say hi. He's elderly. He's in his eighties.

I've done his weeds since I moved in. He's a nice fella. I do his bins, do his garden and bits and pieces for him.

He's dying of cancer now. It is so sad because although we don't have much interaction I will miss him when the inevitable happens.

It will happen to us all one day getting older and not having the energy or inclination to keep the house and garden nice.

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 09/06/2021 22:20

I agree with everyone else that you should just knock the door and ask. I also wouldn't bother buying a fuchsia unless you really want to, as they're really easy to take cuttings from. All you need is a piece of stem about 4 - 5" long, with no flowers on, cut it off at an angle, just underneath a leaf. Strip off a few leaves and pop in a glass of water. I usually do several at a time, then leave them in the kitchen windowsill. You'll see they'll gradually start sending out roots, and then at that point you can pot them up into small pots of compost, and away they go. My Dad used to be an expert with Fuschias and contrary to what others told him, always kept his plants in a saucer of water so that they didn't dry out. Hope this helps.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 09/06/2021 22:20

@ShinyMe

And if he doesn't answer the door you can conclude that he's a Mumsnetter and you didnt make an appointment before daring to knock

Original poster

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 22:21

Thank you for the replies that have given me the push to go round and help with the garden. Its something that ive meant to do for a while but keep putting it off. Im not good with social stuff myself, so going round to knock and introduce is a big deal for me (which sounds ridiculous but i do get mild anxiety about social situations with people I dont know)

But i do feel bad for not, as he obviously at some point took pride in his garden. He has a greenhouse in the back garden, with bits and pieces in it to indicate that it was well used at one point, but is now impossible to get to as is so overgrown, and has lots of smashed panes from things falling from tree above.

So it does get to me a bit that he might be inside the house and gutted that his garden is a state but that he cant do anything about it.

OP posts:

nancybotwinbloom · 09/06/2021 22:25

Op I think that's really nice. It will give him something nice to look out at once it's under control

converseandjeans · 09/06/2021 22:28

I don't imagine he would notice or mind. But it's an opportunity to speak to him & you could offer to strim stuff back - just say you're doing yours & would he like you to cut his back?

denverRegina · 09/06/2021 22:29

Get round there, tell him you want to help do his garden and that it'll benefit you too so it's not just a one sided thing.

Why are we so less neighbourly these days? (I include myself in that)

HalzTangz · 09/06/2021 22:31

@ChatterMonkey

Just googled fuschia and that is the plant! Is it known as a granny plant? I think it looks lovely!

I would ask him bit he seems a bit of a recluse. We've been here 3 years and only seen him once briefly through the window. So not sure how he would take interactions or attempts to make friends.

In regard to his garden, we would be totally willing to help him cut it back, but have been hesitant to ask for the same reasons above, we have absolutely no idea if hes friendly or not. Our gardening skills and equipment would allow us to cut back the massively overgrown hedge, and strim the grass/weeds, but its just the initial chat and permission that weve been reluctant to do.

But it does make sense that if we go for it, knock and offer to help cut it back, then it would be easier to drop into convo if i could take a cutting.

Only one way to find out, knock on the door and speak to him

HeartShapedBalloon · 09/06/2021 22:35

@ChatterMonkey Fushias are my favourite plants (and I'm nowhere near granny age!), they are so cheap to buy! And you can get them pretty much anywhere, not just garden centres. B&M often have them, Tesco, coop currently have them in hanging baskets...I like the bush and trailing fushias.

PicsInRed · 09/06/2021 22:35

Fuchsia is very popular again right now, you can buy them for a few quid down the garden centre or even from big supermarkets like Waitrose and Tesco, which are selling them en masse. As such, there's no need to steal any cuttings, just pop one in the trolley.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 09/06/2021 22:44

I love fuschias bit am not a gran

EvenRosesHaveThorns · 09/06/2021 22:49

It would be kind of you to knock, have a chat and whilst you're doing it, use it as an introduction to tidy up his garden so he can have some joy in looking at a nice space

VestaTilley · 09/06/2021 22:51

Why don’t you just ask him?? He’s unlikely to say no, and that is the polite and appropriate thing to do.

Not sure why this is even a question

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