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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to take some cuttings from my neighbours plant...?

89 replies

ChatterMonkey · 09/06/2021 21:35

I know that the usual answer to this is that its completely inappropriate and not ok, but im hoping that my background info might sway people into telling me its ok!

Neighbours garden is very overgrown. He is elderly and is completely housebound. All of the garden is waist high weeds, with a few overgrown plants from a time a long time ago when i assume the garden was maintained. Theres no hate for his messy garden from us, doesnt affect us at all. Other neighbours on the street moan about it but it doesnt bother us at all.

Spotted today that theres a nice plant in the garden that i remember my granny having in her garden when i was little. Its a bush like plant with little red flowers on it that we used to pretend were lipsticks. (Red petals and i think a bit of purple inside?) Not sure if anyone can tell me what its actually called from this vague description 😂

I can reach it by leaning over our fence, and as its so overgrown, could easily take some substantial cuttings without it looking like anything is missing.

So WIBU to grab some of the plant from over the fence to see if i can grow it in my garden?

If people think its acceptable, any advice on how to actually take cuttings so that they can be planted and grown? Total beginner gardener here so no real idea of what im doing!

OP posts:
kittie01 · 09/06/2021 22:59

Knock on his door and offer to cut his grass. Take it from there. I never understood why neighbours stopped helping each other out. In all houses I’ve lived in we help each other out. Last move (hopefully) and the neighbours all go above and beyond to help each other. Imagine it was your dad and no one helped him 🥲

withiceplease · 09/06/2021 23:06

Not all fuchsias are the same though OP
His is obviously a fully hardy one and some aren't and some are bush like and others stay small
Get a few cuttings, stick them in some compost (outside is fine at this time of year but I'd put them in the shade) and keep them damp. I've rooted cuttings in a border successfully and never used rooting powder

Bumzoo · 10/06/2021 08:45

Take a rolled up newspaper when you go round in case he's not friendly Grin

Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 08:50

Haha yes i realise that worrying about whether he's friendly makes him sound like a labrador... 🤣

The plan today is to sort of chicken out but sort of not...

Im going to ask dp to pop round and make contact, and have the chat about whether he wants us to sort his garden a bit while we are doing ours. And if he agrees then we will both work on the garden.

Fingers crossed he is a nice old man and not a grumpy old man!

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 10/06/2021 08:54

I would ask if you can and if your neighbour is "with it" mentally. Be really careful with older people as if they have dementia etc they can get very confused if they see you doing something they don't remember agreeing to, it could worry them a lot if you are fiddling about in their garden and they don't know why. My elderly neighbour is rather confused etc, so when we were planning to replace the fence between our gardens, I waited til I saw her daughter visit one day, introduced myself, and mentioned it to her as well so that someone she knew and trusted could explain what was happening.

notanothertakeaway · 10/06/2021 09:48

It's great that you are willing to maintain his garden. Whatever you do can only be an improvement if it's currently overgrown. I'm sure he would appreciate that offer

And, what's the worst that could happen? He says No thanks

I think your best approach would be to say that you are about to mow your lawn, it's no bother to do his the same time and would he like you to do that? And then go to him afterwards and say "while I was doing your lawn, I noticed this lovely plant ....."

Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 11:47

Well people of mumsnet, you'll be glad to hear that you spurred me on, went out to cut our hedge and dp went round to offer to cut his at the same time. He has throat cancer or something, (tubes in throat amd cant really talk) but smiled and said yes, so we cracked on. Got them about 3/4 done and have filled both garden bins as well as a substantial pile of cuttings in our garden (hedge was very overgrown!)

While i was working at it he came out again with a load of bin bags for the extra cuttings, and was really grateful and seemed really happy that we were tidying it up!

Other neighbour came out and told us that apparently royal mail have been threatening to stop delivering his mail due to overgrown hedge blocking access.

Bins get emptied on monday and then we'll do a bit more tidying up for him. Not mentioned the fuschia but tbh im not even that bothered any more. I just have a nice warm feeling from helping out a neighbour, and it was nice how happy he seemed to be about the help!

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 10/06/2021 12:02

@ChatterMonkey you've just made me cry. Thank goodness you made contact. And now you can have a lovely neighbourly relationship with him.

JustJoinedRightNow · 10/06/2021 12:06

OP what a wonderful thing you’ve done. So sweet.

SoupDragon · 10/06/2021 12:07

How lovely!

And no need for the rolled up newspaper 😂

ApolloandDaphne · 10/06/2021 12:07

Gosh what a lovely outcome. You sounds like great neighbours.

Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 12:18

Dp is amused by it all as we have a big garden ourselves that we can barely maintain (we cut grass, trim hedges and attempt to plant things with mixed success 🤣) so thinks its funny that im so willing to start maintaining to take on maintaining somone elses garden as well, but its nice to be nice!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 12:23

Also, whats the sort of protocol for doing other bits and pieces in his garden? I told him that when the bins are emtpied on monday we would do some more and he was happy about that, but when we do go back to do more should we knock again to let him know or just crack on?

He doesnt seem very mobile so dont want to bother him by making him come to the door all the time but dont want to be rude either.

OP posts:
Meme69 · 10/06/2021 12:24

I'm so pleased you did this. I am having a really shitty time and the moment (had some awful news today) and this has cheered my heart. Well done OP. BTW you are correct, fuachias are blooming beautiful. My mum had them in her garden and I just planted two in mine.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 10/06/2021 12:26

You and your husband have done a lovely thing. Where I live all the neighbours help each other out like this.
We have one neighbour who, on bin days puts all our bins out first thing on bin day then as soon as the bin lorry has gone he brings them all back in.
If be knows were away he will water the front gardens and do a bit of weeding without even being asked. He's a lovely retired gentleman who is always looking for something to keep him occupied

Ourlady · 10/06/2021 12:29

Well done OP, this brought tears to my eyes it's just so bloody lovely. That poor old man all alone with nobody to turn to. You have brought him a lot of happiness I'm sure.

Twistered · 10/06/2021 12:36

Lovely absolutely lovely ❤️

RantyAnty · 10/06/2021 12:47

You and your DP, so kind and lovely. I'm crying like an old fool. I bet you made his year.
DaffodilDaffodilDaffodil

bouncystorm · 10/06/2021 12:50

I think knock as he probably appreciates seeing someone. Does he have carers going in? I always wonder as some older people struggle on, but could pay a gardener to help, but don't. Not suggesting he pays you btw. Why do they get so reluctant to have help?

EvilPea · 10/06/2021 13:03

Your a lovely person.
My anxiety has stopped me helping where I could. So well done.
He sounds like he appreciates it. I would ask if you can take a cutting or if he knows how to take a cutting. If he has a greenhouse I bet he will be able to cut it and nurture it on for you on the windowsill. I am sure he will want a way to thank you.

mamaoffourdc · 10/06/2021 13:04

❤️❤️❤️

Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 13:47

Aw my warm fuzzy feeling from helping the neighbour is even warmer and fuzzier now knowing that ive cheered up a few people on here as well!

OP posts:
Twistered · 10/06/2021 13:54

@ChatterMonkey

Aw my warm fuzzy feeling from helping the neighbour is even warmer and fuzzier now knowing that ive cheered up a few people on here as well!
Yes look how many people feel better just reading what you did! You've made so many people smile today. Isn't that actually amazing Flowers
CharlieParley · 10/06/2021 14:08

@ChatterMonkey

Aw my warm fuzzy feeling from helping the neighbour is even warmer and fuzzier now knowing that ive cheered up a few people on here as well!
You did, you really did. It's such a wonderful thing to do in any case, but just wanted to add that we recently had a close family member with terminal cancer and even when going outside was no longer an option, just looking at the garden and the birds brought so much joy, every day. It doesn't need anything special, just tidy enough that your neighbour won't look out and feel terrible because it is so overgrown but instead can look at the plants and whatever visitors the garden gets. And you've given him the opportunity for that joy back. That was very well done indeed.
Original poster
ChatterMonkey · 10/06/2021 14:52

We got a good chunk of it done today, but theres still a lot to do. From the outside the hedge is now tidy and not covering the whole pavement any more. From the inside, one side of the hedge is cut back and tidy, the other is still a riot. My arm was totally numb from holding the hedge cutter (im not very fit 🤣) and the pile of excess in our garden was pretty massive.

On monday both garden bins will be emptied, and depending on when we're working next week, we'll go round and finish the hedge, then take the strimmer round and cut back all the grass/weeds. Then hopefuly it'll look a lot nicer for him when looking out the window.

I feel a bit bad that its taken this long for us to do it, but i suppose doing it now is better than still putting it off!

OP posts:
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