To feel incredibly guilty about applying for this job?

[UnnecessaryFennel]

I've been with my current employer for almost 10 years, during which time I've been promoted several times, and now am senior in a close-knit team of colleagues, most of whom I would also consider friends, including my immediate line manager. It's a large, well-known employer and in the main they have been really good to me.

However, we are under-staffed and under pressure and much of the time I feel as if I'm going through the motions. I'm a bit burnt-out, I think; the job can be high-pressure and we deal with lots of emotionally draining situations a lot of the time. We are constantly being asked to more with less and I'm just really tired, frustrated and fed up a lot of the time. But it's a good job and a good salary and I could have many more opportunities there if I wanted to take them.

We're moving house and I intended to commute a couple of days a week, which would be a long commute (2 hrs) but manageable.

However, a job has just come up in the same field (but in a much smaller and perhaps less well-respected employer). It's 4 days a week instead of my current 5, less senior, less responsibility (at least at first), much shorter commute (20 - 30 mins), same flexibility and WFH opportunities. Many of the issues that make my current job particularly stressful would be very much reduced in this new role.

I had an 'informal chat' with the new employer today and it was very positive. I feel pretty sure that if I applied I would get the job.

But...I am feeling so guilty about the possibility of leaving my current role. I know no one is indispensable and I don't want to sound like a dick but it would genuinely impact my team, at least in the short/medium term, if I left at this point. I'd promised to see a particular role through to the end which I wouldn't be able to do if I left, and we have a lot of new junior staff who are inexperienced and need support. The thought of telling my line manager I'm leaving is making me feel sick already. I know they'd replace me eventually, obviously, but I would, undoubtedly be leaving them in the lurch for a good few months at least.

I do also worry that leaving a 'world-famous' place and going to somewhere much less 'prestigious' might not be a great idea in the long run.

So AIBU to feel guilty / worried about applying for this job and potentially leaving my current employer and colleagues?

YAB utterly unreasonable. If you died, your employer would replace you without a second thought. You can care, but ultimately you're disposable to your company so do what's best for you.

I think it really depends on your long term career/lifestyle ambitions whether this would be a good move? What are they?

Sadly you are only a number at the end of the day. My Dad gave 43 years loyal service to his employer. They made him redundant when it suited them. They begged him to come back when they realised the skills they were now lacking. He took great delight in telling them to stick it.

Do what's right for you. Honestly everyone is replaceable and they'll be fine.

Yes YABU. If they wanted to restructure for any reason and your role was considered redundant they wouldn't give you a second thought.

Yes YABU, to think that you are indispensable, nobody is.

Your situation sounds like mine OP. Is there a likelihood that your current pressures will be relieved any time soon - either recruiting more staff, reducing your hours etc? If not, and it's bound to go on like it is with your current employer, I would probably make a move. Life is too short to be so stressed out all the time. They will survive.

Go for it. Ultimately, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow and they'd advertise your job and replace you in an instant. I've just left a job I'd been at for 8 years and felt as you did prior to going, but I'm glad I have now. They're your employer and you don't owe them anything.

Your employer would ditch you in an instant if it was in their interests. Take the job that best suits YOU

@Aprilx

Yes YABU, to think that you are indispensable, nobody is.

I mean, my post does actually say I know no one is indispensable.

It's more worrying about my close colleagues rather than the company as a whole. everyone is under a lot of pressure and I feel shit about adding to it.

My only concern would be this "I'd promised to see a particular role through to the end which I wouldn't be able to do if I left". In what context did you agree to this? I can't fathom why an employer who would be shocked at your resignation would've checked whether you'd be there?

Your situation sounds like mine OP. Is there a likelihood that your current pressures will be relieved any time soon - either recruiting more staff, reducing your hours etc?

Unfortunately not. We have lost several members of our team over the last year and there is a recruitment freeze. I wouldn't be allowed tor reduce my hours for the same reason - we are barely keeping heads above water at times as it is.

I've just spent so many hours recently with my boss with her head in her hands as another person hands in their notice...and now it's probably going to be me too!

OP you might feel like your colleagues are more like friends, but as someone who has changed jobs several times over the years, rest assured that as soon as you're no longer in the loop with what's going on at work, you will gradually see them slipping from your social calendar. These people are not really friends, just people you work with, it's the job that you all do together that makes them feel closer than they really are.

YABU - Staying means perpetuating the unreasonable workload. If (when) you quit they may wake up and appoint more people - if not then the people you leave behind have to make their own minds whether to keep working for a shit employer. You are trading your mental health for their bottom line - fuck that.

At the end of the day you’ve got to do what’s right for you. You’ve given a decade to your current role. You are entitled to think of yourself and your needs. Don’t be a martyr. It’s wonderful you care about your colleagues but that can’t keep coming at the cost of you. I’m sure they’d understand and although be disappointed to lose you, happy for you to find a new opportunity.

Apply and see what happens. 2 hour commute is a lot to take on and this new job might be perfect.

I've just spent so many hours recently with my boss with her head in her hands as another person hands in their notice...and now it's probably going to be me too!
Boss's problem not yours - as for a recruitment freeze - they will either have to give up or thaw that fucker out a bit.

OP, it's to your credit that you are feeling how your colleagues will feel once you confirm your departure. However, this is business and you need to be as objective as possible, putting your own well-being first - just as this company would, pretty dispassionately, do if they had to.

All you can do, once/if you are made a confirmed offer of a remuneration package which works for you, is leave your current employer as cleanly as possible, closing off as much of your projects as you can and leaving a clear handover.

Good luck @UnnecessaryFennel - deep breaths. 🌹

Yeah I suppose I do have slightly martyrish tendencies at times, SilverRoe, it's not a good character trait!

And your close colleagues would no doubt jump at the chance of a job in the same field with less hours and a very short commute.

So why shouldn’t you go for it and allow yourself to live, rather than work, commute and no play?

Do you think they'd give you a second thought if they needed to make you redundant? You're just a cog in a wheel. Do what suits you and don't give them a second thought. If your colleagues don't like it, they can get out, too.

I do also worry that leaving a 'world-famous' place
What are they famous for? Overworking staff?

You are thinking of leaving for a positive reason, I expect your colleagues will understand and maybe wish you well.

Thankyou @Newestname001

Are you an academic, OP?

You should move. Organisations don't change until there is a crisis. You may make things better in your current team/department by hastening a crisis.