To feel incredibly guilty about applying for this job?

[UnnecessaryFennel]

I've been with my current employer for almost 10 years, during which time I've been promoted several times, and now am senior in a close-knit team of colleagues, most of whom I would also consider friends, including my immediate line manager. It's a large, well-known employer and in the main they have been really good to me.

However, we are under-staffed and under pressure and much of the time I feel as if I'm going through the motions. I'm a bit burnt-out, I think; the job can be high-pressure and we deal with lots of emotionally draining situations a lot of the time. We are constantly being asked to more with less and I'm just really tired, frustrated and fed up a lot of the time. But it's a good job and a good salary and I could have many more opportunities there if I wanted to take them.

We're moving house and I intended to commute a couple of days a week, which would be a long commute (2 hrs) but manageable.

However, a job has just come up in the same field (but in a much smaller and perhaps less well-respected employer). It's 4 days a week instead of my current 5, less senior, less responsibility (at least at first), much shorter commute (20 - 30 mins), same flexibility and WFH opportunities. Many of the issues that make my current job particularly stressful would be very much reduced in this new role.

I had an 'informal chat' with the new employer today and it was very positive. I feel pretty sure that if I applied I would get the job.

But...I am feeling so guilty about the possibility of leaving my current role. I know no one is indispensable and I don't want to sound like a dick but it would genuinely impact my team, at least in the short/medium term, if I left at this point. I'd promised to see a particular role through to the end which I wouldn't be able to do if I left, and we have a lot of new junior staff who are inexperienced and need support. The thought of telling my line manager I'm leaving is making me feel sick already. I know they'd replace me eventually, obviously, but I would, undoubtedly be leaving them in the lurch for a good few months at least.

I do also worry that leaving a 'world-famous' place and going to somewhere much less 'prestigious' might not be a great idea in the long run.

So AIBU to feel guilty / worried about applying for this job and potentially leaving my current employer and colleagues?

Just go for it. We've had a couple of very important people leave recently, and when announcements were first made I definitely thought "oh man what are we going to do" but of course we've just gotten on with it. The second person finished last week and things have just... continued.

It was a good reminder to me to do whatever works for me and my career, because that's what everyone else is going to do.

Always remember that no-one is indispensible.

Ah, great stuff.

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread. Congrats OP and best of luck!

@UnnecessaryFennel

Just an update (for anyone who might be interested )

I got the job and am currently working my notice period.

I still feel bad for my boss, who is stressed and unhappy. I'm going to try and do my best to leave with as many loose ends as possible tied up, but it's still shit. But I know this is the right move for me, and hopefully it might encourage some colleagues to step up and pull their weight a bit more too!

Now I've just got to tell my team, which will be weird. But to anyone who is dithering in a similar position to me, I say go for it! I feel so much better now that I know change is on the horizon.

Congratulations OP! You've definitely got to do what's right for you in these situations and you're going to thank yourself for it in a month or two!

Well done Op - great news! Congratulations!

Congratulations OP, great news.

This seems like a no brainer to me, the new job has so many more positives and seems like it will improve your life, go for it! Good Luck

Congratulations for taking that leap! Onwards.....

Congratulations on taking the jump!

I'm sure your colleagues will understand ... and be envious of your calmer life.

Good luck!

I think your concerns about working for a less reputable company are probably well founded. You seem to have progressed in your career and if you want to keep doing so, that will be less likely with a smaller company.

Oops, should have RTFT, congrats ops, hope all works out for you

Congratulations! Also well done for stepping aside and allowing someone else to develop their career and skills

Apply and let fate decide! But ultimately do what’s right for you, it’s your life.

You sound like a fantastic employee, to be so loyal to, and caring about, your colleagues and your current employer. If I was the new employer I’d be pulling out all the stops to hire you. Good luck.

Oh and as someone who has worked part-time and whose career has stalled over the last 19 years I would say quality of life wins every time.

Aarrgghh should’ve read the whole thread! I was right anyway!!! Congratulations OP

@TigerBreath

Do what's right for you. Honestly everyone is replaceable and they'll be fine.

Agreed. Also don't think that others in your situation wouldn't do the same!

I once turned down a new job out of loyalty to a manager who was being given an awful time of it by two other members of staff, and we were under a lot of pressure work-wise at the time and I was picking up a lot of slack. A few years later she showed me how selfish she actually was. Felt like a right mug.

Well done op awesome news!!!

Oh yes well done OP!

Congratulations! Don't feel guilty - if the company had been more supportive and kept staffing levels up you might not have felt the need to leave. Good luck in your new job.

Congratulations OP! You sound like a lovely and dedicated person. Best of luck in your new role

Congratulations!

Congratulations @UnnecessaryFennel! I hope the new job provides you with more quality of life generally, for the future.

Thanks so much for your update. 🌹

number on a payroll,that's all everyone is. you joined the company of your choice & you can walk away from them, i went through the same choice 3 yrs ago,after 10yrs with the same organisation, best move ever. better work life balance,more relaxed,terrific small team, realised that for the last 2 yrs at the old salt mine i just went to work,as probably in time you will do exactly the same,good luck

Yes, people may miss you initially, but they, and you will get over it. You would be replaced if you had to leave due to ill-health or similar.
Take the new opportunity - you can make the job what you want it to be, so no problem that the co isn't as 'famous'/big/respected as the new one. Anyway, being the most well-known isn't always a good thing.
But maybe it's an age thing; if you still feel you want the longer commute, the accolades and the friends you have at wotk, stay. If however, you feel you've achieved much of what you want to do, and would like to spend less time getting to and from just 'work', go for the new one!

YANBU in any way. Your life, they don’t own you.