What's the funniest experience of mansplaining you have experienced

[bjjgirl]

Please to help me keep my sanity and give me some light relief can you tell me the best examples of mansplaining you have experienced?

I have had a long day of this at work and it's just exhausting

I work in an exceptionally niche specialism within my overall industry.
As the only female on the team, members of the public outright tell me I'm the "rookie" and tell me I should be doing X, Y and Z.

I'm actually the most experienced team member (in terms of the specialism at least, two are more experienced in general terms prior to specialising. But they're also about 10 years older than me)

I should add that most members of the public know nothing of the ins and outs of our general industry, never mind the specialism.

@ChangePart1

Bit different to mansplaining tbh. A qualified registered healthcare professional was giving you info that they give everyone. The comment about big breasts not necessarily being better for bf is correct. You sound really angry and aggressive in this (but I’m hoping that was due to having just given birth and not how you’d treat someone in other situations)!

@OhGiveUp was absolutely right to be annoyed, she made a comment about her own milk to her own baby and he’s condescendingly given her a lecture and a rude comment about her not being any better than women with smaller busts. That clearly wasn’t what GiveUps was saying.

[quote ChangePart1]**@OhGiveUp

Would you have reacted with the same vitriol to a female midwife giving you breastfeeding info?

Not everything a man says is mansplaining tbh, it dilutes the term pretending otherwise.[/quote]
This absolutely was mansplaining and you may want to consider how patronising and passive aggressive you’re sounding to @OhGiveUp here.

[quote stackemhigh]@ChangePart1

Bit different to mansplaining tbh. A qualified registered healthcare professional was giving you info that they give everyone. The comment about big breasts not necessarily being better for bf is correct. You sound really angry and aggressive in this (but I’m hoping that was due to having just given birth and not how you’d treat someone in other situations)!

@OhGiveUp was absolutely right to be annoyed, she made a comment about her own milk to her own baby and he’s condescendingly given her a lecture and a rude comment about her not being any better than women with smaller busts. That clearly wasn’t what GiveUps was saying.[/quote]
I disagree. I’m surprised you have assumed it was a rude comment, it sounds to me like he was trying to reassure her when he heard she was frustrated that breastfeeding wasn’t going well considering she had big breasts by letting her know that that didn’t mean it would automatically be easier for her than for others with smaller ones.
Even OP herself didn’t say he was rude at any point so I think you might be projecting a bit here!

If you think that warrants verbal abuse of a midwife, and someone saying “get the fuck out of my sight before an oncologist was needed to separate his balls from his colon.” then it seems you’re determined to read ill intent into this person’s actions and justify abuse so I’m confident we won’t be able to see eye to eye on this.

Bit different to mansplaining tbh. A qualified registered healthcare professional was giving you info that they give everyone. The comment about big breasts not necessarily being better for bf is correct. You sound really angry and aggressive in this (but I’m hoping that was due to having just given birth and not how you’d treat someone in other situations)!

Nope, the poster was making a lighthearted remark to her own baby. She was not commenting on the size of other women’s breasts and did not need a lecture on the mechanics of breastfeeding - so definitely mansplaining!

And another time going to buy a new laptop with a guy I was dating back then. The salesman kept talking to bf even though I was asking questions. In the end it was bf who said ffs talk to her, she's buying it and I have no interest in the things.

At least your date could have been a potential customer! I dropped my car into the the garage on the way to walk. I give a male colleague a lift home and we walked round to the garage and he came in with me because it was raining. The mechanic then started telling him what had been wrong with my car and what work had been done!

@CecilyP

Bit different to mansplaining tbh. A qualified registered healthcare professional was giving you info that they give everyone. The comment about big breasts not necessarily being better for bf is correct. You sound really angry and aggressive in this (but I’m hoping that was due to having just given birth and not how you’d treat someone in other situations)!

Nope, the poster was making a lighthearted remark to her own baby. She was not commenting on the size of other women’s breasts and did not need a lecture on the mechanics of breastfeeding - so definitely mansplaining!

But as a midwife part of your role is providing support and guidance around breastfeeding. They’ll have seen so many women sit there and say to their baby or themselves or their partner things like ‘I must not be able to do it with such small breasts’ ‘why is this not working?’ ‘I think I’m doing it wrong’ without directly asking a midwife for advice. It’s part of their role to pick up on that and provide advice, whether they’re male or female. If this support would be appropriate from a female midwife then it’s appropriate from a male. Or are we saying only people who’ve breastfed should be allowed to give advice?

I acknowledge a midwife would have approached it better by checking first what their patient knows about breastfeeding and their prior experience. That would have been better care. But I maintain, this ain’t mansplaining. Men wouldn’t be able to work in maternity care or in women’s health if they’re not allowed to give the same care and support to women as their female colleagues.

Not every woman trying to breastfeed knows anything about it, or understands the mechanics of breastfeeding. He wasn’t explaining this to her because he thought as a woman she would know less about this than he did, a man. He was giving info that midwives routinely give as part of their jobs, to a patient.

I understand what you are saying, Change, but in this case OhGiveUp was not proudly boasting about the enormity of her breasts (just the quantity of milk available) and her baby’s inefficiency at getting it). In saying she had enough milk for all the babies on the ward, she was in no way commenting on the smallness of the breasts of their respective mothers!

@CecilyP

Don't even get me started on Polyester Thong Man.

I think we need to know!

We really don't.

@CecilyP

I understand what you are saying, Change, but in this case OhGiveUp was not proudly boasting about the enormity of her breasts (just the quantity of milk available) and her baby’s inefficiency at getting it). In saying she had enough milk for all the babies on the ward, she was in no way commenting on the smallness of the breasts of their respective mothers!

Oh no I agree, I don’t think she was commenting on other people’s breasts at all, but neither was the midwife, he was just letting her know that it’s normal to not be easy even with bigger breasts. Or that’s how I’d take it anyway! In the same way as a midwife might reassure someone who says they must be having difficult due to small breasts that smaller doesn’t mean you’re any less able to breastfeed. I don’t think anyone would bat an eye if a female midwife did this, it’s their job role.

I just want to know why an oncologist would be needed to separate his balls from his colon.

ChangePart1
I have observed some fantastic man-oeuvring by big vehicles through narrow spaces and I have certainly congratulated the driver. Normally with a blokie "nice one mate". I have worked on construction sites and it 's a real skill.

Not sure that an older chap and a younger woman would fit that bill though!

@Wrotten

I just want to know why an oncologist would be needed to separate his balls from his colon.

I did wonder why he would suddenly develop cancer in this scenario but thought it better not to ask 😂

@user5464

ChangePart1 I have observed some fantastic man-oeuvring by big vehicles through narrow spaces and I have certainly congratulated the driver. Normally with a blokie "nice one mate". I have worked on construction sites and it 's a real skill.

Not sure that an older chap and a younger woman would fit that bill though!

Yeah, I don’t mind being congratulated on a manoeuvre tbh as that’s something people do to one another regardless of sex I think. It’s the guiding through the manoeuvre that really grinds my gears! It’s a presumption that you need assistance to move your vehicle. It’s insulting really!

Oh no I agree, I don’t think she was commenting on other people’s breasts at all, but neither was the midwife, he was just letting her know that it’s normal to not be easy even with bigger breasts. Or that’s how I’d take it anyway! In the same way as a midwife might reassure someone who says they must be having difficult due to small breasts that smaller doesn’t mean you’re any less able to breastfeed. I don’t think anyone would bat an eye if a female midwife did this, it’s their job role.

But you weren't there, she was!

Hence why you've changed

The male midwife told me that just because I had a large bust didn't mean that I was any better at breastfeeding than a woman with a smaller bust!

into

he was just letting her know that it’s normal to not be easy even with bigger breasts.

My BIL, trying for years to mansplain share investing to me after reading a couple of books. Eventually I got sick of ignoring it and when he tried to explain a margin loan to me I said well... No... That's an X loan. I have a margin loan and it works like this ... So satisfying.

This week he tried to mansplain coffee machines to me. Sigh.

I've had to deal with quite a lot of tradesmen recently and so far, my experience has been pretty good, just had the odd "love" once or twice.

As someone raised int the North West of England, I wouldn't assume someone was being patronising solely because they called you "love". It's a pretty common mode of address in some areas, especially from older adults towards younger ones of the opposite gender, and (as a man in his late 30s) I am frequently addressed as "love" by female staff in shops and cafés, on public transport etc. etc.

Of course, there may have been other things about those interactions which were indicative of problems.

What hacks me off is that women have taken such advises over the years: How many of us have had a speculum passed with the "handles" rammed against our clit rather than use it "upside down" in way that can never catch the sensitive bits? Of course a woman taught me to pass a speculum and every woman I teach/tell goes "Oh yes!" This just HAS to date back to men making decisions about us.

@steppemum

But rooves is the right pronunciation if it's plural.

nope, standard plural is roofs.

Not all words ending in f take v. As I try and explain ocnstantly to my students who tend to either make everything ves plurals or none of them.

have never come up with a good way of working out which ones do and which don't though.

But the pronunciation is rooves.

As the only female on the team, members of the public outright tell me I'm the "rookie"

That's the funny thing, isn't it - it you're a woman in male dominated career, you probably had to jump through many hoops and prove your knowledge and skills 3 times over.

@CasperGutman

I've had to deal with quite a lot of tradesmen recently and so far, my experience has been pretty good, just had the odd "love" once or twice.

As someone raised int the North West of England, I wouldn't assume someone was being patronising solely because they called you "love". It's a pretty common mode of address in some areas, especially from older adults towards younger ones of the opposite gender, and (as a man in his late 30s) I am frequently addressed as "love" by female staff in shops and cafés, on public transport etc. etc.

Of course, there may have been other things about those interactions which were indicative of problems.

Yes everyone knows it's a common mode of address in a lot of places but women do know when we're being patronised and should be able to call it out without it being mansplained to us.

But the pronunciation is rooves.

I'm afraid I'm with pp, it's pronounced roofs too.

@Mychaitea

He drives me insane! He looks an absolute tit while doing it too. Inside the car it's usually me or my husband muttering "yep, we can see the car. Aye, very helpful Mike. Get yer big arse out of the way and maybe I can see the oncoming traffic." And the kids usually absolutely killing themselves laughing. He's never clicked on.

I'm shaking my head just thinking about it!

@Wrotten

I just want to know why an oncologist would be needed to separate his balls from his colon.

And why they were attached to each other in the first place.