What's the funniest experience of mansplaining you have experienced

[bjjgirl]

Please to help me keep my sanity and give me some light relief can you tell me the best examples of mansplaining you have experienced?

I have had a long day of this at work and it's just exhausting

A couple of weeks ago I was pulling into a bay carparking space and a man in his late 60s/70s stepped into it without seeing me so I had to stop. He then started shaking his head at me and gave me a lecture on my back end being stuck out being dangerous for other cars and my wheels not being straight stopping people being able to walk through the gap easily. He then started “trying to help” me park by telling me to move forward and straighten up, he repeated himself several times before I pointed out I would run him over if I did this because he was in the way. He walked off saying fine struggle away, I parked fine and noticed his car was in at an angle and his back wheel over the white line.

Oh and what about the chap who literally paid me to come and pare back his dead skin who spent the entire appointment telling me I was holding the scalpel wrong, I had no idea what I was doing, I clearly didn’t understand what a scalpel was for because I’m just a woman who shouldn’t even have a job like mine because it’s too close to surgery which is a man’s job.
I kindly informed him his fee was £x amount and left after gathering my things as I did not wish to remain where I wouldn’t be respected for doing my job.
2 weeks later I get a phone call from his wife “he’s bought his own scalpel and removed his skin himself, but he went way too deep and I think it’s infected. Can you come back?”
No chance, see a GP. Blacklisted from my phone. Never found out what happened but seriously? He PAID me to do a job and then moaned at me for doing it??

@Batshitmeansbatshit

..the one who corrected my pronunciation of my name!

Lol.

I have one of those names that can be male or female, but is generally spelt one way for a woman and a different for a man. A male colleague wanted to know why I spelt my name wrong and insisted that it should be spelt the "male" way.

OMG you've reminded me of a man who explained how I was pronouncing my surname wrong!

Its not a common name but not uncommon either iykwim but can be said two ways, either with a hard or soft "th". Its originally scottish but my family are irish and use the soft "th" he was scottish and used the hard version. Wouldnt have it that either way is correct and each has their own cultural background. It ended when he started calling me by my full name emphasising his chosen pronunciation. I did it back with mine.....except that I wasnt a full of myself arsehole sales guy but "merely" a receptionist....so a lot of other people starting saying his name that way too as I would speak to far more clients and colleagues than he did and they assumed that I was saying his name as he preferred :o

FIL explained how to wash shirts. I was 47 at the time.🤪

@WhyMrsRobinson

FIL explained how to wash shirts. I was 47 at the time.🤪

Who never washed a shirt in his life, right?!

Ha! He’d learnt to wash them very late in life when his wife went to college. You’d think he’d learnt brain surgery he was that impressed with himself.
Men!

When I was a body piercer, a 16yo boy mansplaining to me how to perform a navel piercing because "That's not how my mum does them".

I'd been piercing for 17 years. I was highly cranky that day and told the little shite to cunt off back to his mum if she was so fucking good.

Not my finest moment, but Christ it wound me up. Don't even get me started on Polyester Thong Man.

I once had a privilege of being explained the topic of my own PhD to me, by my then-BF's relative who last had an encounter with my field in high school.

Also had a boss who told me 'all about my own country's history and mentality' without ever visiting or even speaking the language.

Every man at a caravan site ever.
“This is how you empty a chemical loo”
“This is how you should travel”
“A woman towing? You’ll need to be aware of the caravan on the back love!”

@ButtercupSquash

I sometimes think poshsplaining is almost as much of a thing as mansplaining: eg. The privately educated, female RP speaker who told me to say rooves instead of roofs. She also once pointed to a tree and said you know you can eat those. I said yes, they’re cherries. Another high-caste female insisted I couldn’t possibly have grown a squash called buttercup: it must have been butternut. (It was called Buttercup Burgess in case anyone still doubts me).

But rooves is the right pronunciation if it's plural.

Don't even get me started on Polyester Thong Man.

I think we need to know!

Women's rights are not actually about women's rights. Went on for two days

After the birth of my third child, the baby was having difficulty in latching onto my breast due to the nipple being flattened by the milk engorgement. I have a very large bust ( relevant to the story ) and had successfully fed my previous two.
In frustration I said ' come on baby, there's enough milk here for the whole ward'
The male midwife told me that just because I had a large bust didn't mean that I was any better at breastfeeding than a woman with a smaller bust!
Then went on to explain the inner workings of the breast in a very patronising way.
I think it was at this point when I told him to get the fuck out of my sight before an oncologist was needed to separate his balls from his colon.

@HollowTalk
The trouble is if enough privately educated, RP speakers make the same mistake, it becomes acceptable. The last time I looked in a dictionary ‘rooves’ was listed as a ‘disp. var.’ that is a disputed variant, with a preference for ‘roofs’ (indisputably correct).

@OhGiveUp

After the birth of my third child, the baby was having difficulty in latching onto my breast due to the nipple being flattened by the milk engorgement. I have a very large bust ( relevant to the story ) and had successfully fed my previous two. In frustration I said ' come on baby, there's enough milk here for the whole ward' The male midwife told me that just because I had a large bust didn't mean that I was any better at breastfeeding than a woman with a smaller bust! Then went on to explain the inner workings of the breast in a very patronising way. I think it was at this point when I told him to get the fuck out of my sight before an oncologist was needed to separate his balls from his colon.

Bit different to mansplaining tbh. A qualified registered healthcare professional was giving you info that they give everyone. The comment about big breasts not necessarily being better for bf is correct. You sound really angry and aggressive in this (but I’m hoping that was due to having just given birth and not how you’d treat someone in other situations)!

@OhGiveUp

Would you have reacted with the same vitriol to a female midwife giving you breastfeeding info?

Not everything a man says is mansplaining tbh, it dilutes the term pretending otherwise.

Another one here for the offside rule complete with condiments being used to demonstrate players positions. I'm an FA qualified coach!

And another time going to buy a new laptop with a guy I was dating back then. The salesman kept talking to bf even though I was asking questions. In the end it was bf who said ffs talk to her, she's buying it and I have no interest in the things.

Yes I would.

Yes, I know it's correct, it was the patronising way he was explaining the biology of it all.
I'm surprised he didn't pat me on the blooming head while he was at it!

But rooves is the right pronunciation if it's plural.

nope, standard plural is roofs.

Not all words ending in f take v. As I try and explain ocnstantly to my students who tend to either make everything ves plurals or none of them.

have never come up with a good way of working out which ones do and which don't though.

The much underused phrase “Go and teach your grandmother how to suck eggs” has suddenly come to mind this morning.

That just reminded me of a man randomly explaining the offside rule to me when I said I hadn’t watched a final of something at the weekend. As though I don’t watch because my poor lady brain can’t understand it.

Ffs, it isn’t even particularly complex.

And thanks @steppemum. The sucking eggs thing appeared straight under your post, but I certainly wasn’t aiming at you!

@ButtercupSquash

And thanks *@steppemum*. The sucking eggs thing appeared straight under your post, but I certainly wasn’t aiming at you!