To wear things that may be unflattering

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I have put on some weight - physical/mental health related and I do plan to lose it when I am fit enough to do so. I do find losing weight hard. I have to lose at least 2 stone. I had a hysterectomy in May for very large fibroids, and I know it’s maybe still swollen, but I remain looking about 5 months pregnant and it is very noticeable and I feel very self conscious about it.

In the meantime, as weight loss is never fast, I have to wear smart clothing when I return to work, in a no air con, very old badly ventilated office. I have some nice comfortable dresses - knee/mid length, office appropriate and some thin trousers, but having tried them on this year, they all cling to to my stomach area and I don’t think they are very flattering at all. I can’t wear Spanx or anything (and nor do I want to).

I can technically afford to buy new clothes but I would rather not spend the money. AIBU to wear them if unflattering on me? I don’t want to look unprofessional or feel really self conscious either

I think it's perfectly fine to wear dresses that are professional but maybe not as flattering as you would like. The only thing I would gently say, is be prepared for people possible asking if you are pregnant (you said you look about 5 months) and how it will affect you.
If I were you, I would by 3 or 4 inexpensive dresses that you feel and look great in. H&M do nice cheap dresses that are surprisingly lovely.
I always think you work best when feeling your best

What I’d say is, I feel exactly the same at the moment for different reasons. I found it very therapeutic going for a walk yesterday in the sunshine and noticing that most of the people around me also seemed to be carrying a bit of extra lockdown weight. Also never underestimate how little anybody else cares about what your outfit looks like. Unless your genitals are on show, nobody is going to really give a second thought to it. We are all too obsessed with how our own outfits look to notice much about anyone else’s!

Personally I'd have a look on ebay for a cheap dress or two to get me through the summer but I don't have much body confidence.

As long you are professionally dressed I don't see a problem.

I would pick up some linen type trousers in the right size at a supermarket. You won't feel cool in clothes that are too tight.

If you have the money, personally I'd go and get a few nice new bits from the supermarket ranges or H&M etc. You'll feel much better. As someone who had been meaning to and trying to and failing to lose 3 stone for about ten years I can vouch for this.

When I have gained and lost weight I have almost always bought very good quality clothes from eBay that I otherwise wouldn't have bought new due to cost. Whilst appearances shouldn't matter, if you feel a little self conscious atm I would have a little hunt on there for some nice items that will make you feel great until life is back on a more even keel. Good luck with it all. I also have 2 stone to lose but am struggling to stay committed to eating healthily enough to do so.

I would not wear unflattering clothes, it will just make you feel worse about yourself

As long as you're professionally dressed, you have absolutely no need to dress to 'flatter'. Best wishes with the recovery. (I may have to have the same procedure for the same reason.)

Thank you. I don’t think anyone would ask, it’s mostly a female environment and most people know what I had surgery for, it wasn’t a secret or anything.

I’ve looked online perhaps I just always buy the wrong things as they aren’t too tight or uncomfortable but material nowadays is so clingy!

I would buy a few new things. You'll be comfortable, you'll know you look presentable and it'll take the pressure off you trying to rush to lose weight too fast. You are recovering so should take it slow and be kind to yourself.

I agree with PP that 2-3 cheap items may make you feel better about yourself than clothes that are too tight in hot weather. You should feel comfortable now as well as in the future.

I brought some nice flare tops from supermarket - cheap as chips. Hide the stomach and look professional

Mumsnetters either love them or hate them but the Seasalt Mill Pool dress is my go to for hiding my ever growing menopausal mid section. There are usually quite a few on Ebay in various sizes and colourways and they can be dressed up with a smart jacket.

but material nowadays is so clingy!

That's either the wrong clothes, or the wrong sizes!

You surely won't want to be trapped in a hot, badly ventilated office in tight, poorly fitting clothes? You, and your surgery site, will feel a hundred times better in some moderately priced, non-clingy linen dresses in the right size.

(If you say what size you are people could suggest some shops ...)

I agree that you should buy some cheap replacement clothes that are more flattering.

I’d feel really self conscious in things that clung to my giant belly. And I don’t think it would look professional.

Don't worry about flattering- worry about comfort. Absolutely wear the clothes if they're comfy, but maybe buy a couple of options for if you'd like something looser and cooler. Flared dresses I find are more comfortable when sat down.

Look for the specific shape you'd like i.e. A-line and maybe go up a size to allow breathing room. And if the dress cinches in make sure it would cinch under your bust, not your waist to prevent digging in.

Best wishes for your operation

YANBU to wear existing clothes. If others look down on you, then their problem.

I'd get a few nice (cheap) things to be comfortable and not looked too squeezed into my clothes.

"One size" items are very popular at the moment - clearly the lockdown had an effect on many people.

As long as you are comfortable, it shouldn't matter, but you'd feel better if you felt that you look good.

Normally, I would say just go for it and wear what you are comfortable in. Looks do not matter, but actions and character do!

But in this specific situation op, one that I have experienced myself, I would buy a couple of reasonably priced dresses to see me through the transition phase, just a couple of outfits that make you feel good. And that is only because, when you have put the effort in, and have bought something that fits properly, and maybe accessorised it a bit, and got a good hair cut, you will feel miles better mentally and emotionally and that is precisely the thing that will help you to lose weight thereafter. Its very difficult to lose weight from a position of feeling flat and uninspired as it takes a lot of emotional energy to lose the pounds.

Also, from a practical pov, there are some lovely dresses in the sales atm in larger sizes, some of them in cotton and linen, and none of them are hugely ££££.

In general, as a rule, I think it is always better to address the body you have in the here and now and make the best of it and be thankful for it, and honour it with some decent shreds, rather than plan for a moment in the future which may or may not arrive! It is also practically much easier to get dressed in the morning when you have organised a capsule wardrobe for yourself from which you can just grab something and you know it will fit and be comfortable and you have the accessories to hand. Remove anything that does not fit you right at this moment.

Good luck op, having put on the pounds during lockdown post hysterectomy myself, I know exactly how you feel.

I’m like a size 14-16 and look pregnant. I have all my clothes from last year barely worn so was hoping not to buy too much new stuff but also don’t know what to buy

I am young ish looking (under 40) so I suppose I try to veer away from Boohoo 😂 but am still liking things from H&M. I just bought 2 dresses from New Look neither are too tight, nice length and they fit fine, but the fabric is thin and clings/shows my stomach. I bought a dress and some trousers from Next in May - same thing.

Can’t tell on H&M website what the fabric is like either, the thing about linen I am wary of is that it crumples so badly? I will look for the sea salt dresses too but didn’t want to spend too much on something that may not fit too long (hoping)

With something that comes from under the boobs this looks maternity on me. I suppose I need like a shift dress type thing?

You need V-Neck to drag the attention away from your belly

Big patterns are good also!

Ok! V neck I can look for

I mean that kind of things (not that one, it's polyester, but I think that shape works)

It's from YOURS