To wear things that may be unflattering

[Menora]

I have put on some weight - physical/mental health related and I do plan to lose it when I am fit enough to do so. I do find losing weight hard. I have to lose at least 2 stone. I had a hysterectomy in May for very large fibroids, and I know it’s maybe still swollen, but I remain looking about 5 months pregnant and it is very noticeable and I feel very self conscious about it.

In the meantime, as weight loss is never fast, I have to wear smart clothing when I return to work, in a no air con, very old badly ventilated office. I have some nice comfortable dresses - knee/mid length, office appropriate and some thin trousers, but having tried them on this year, they all cling to to my stomach area and I don’t think they are very flattering at all. I can’t wear Spanx or anything (and nor do I want to).

I can technically afford to buy new clothes but I would rather not spend the money. AIBU to wear them if unflattering on me? I don’t want to look unprofessional or feel really self conscious either

What size are you op? And what is your body shape and budget? Happy to have a look around for you!

You should try a wrap dress too, they can be surprisingly flattering. Vinted or ebay should have some good value Boden ones.

M& S swing dresses are cheap and flattering,
www.marksandspencer.com/jersey-printed-knee-length-swing-dress/p/clp60509277?color=BLACKMIX

You say you're size 14-16. That seems perfectly average, not overweight at all. I understand it might be a size or two up from what you might have been in the past. However, you have just had a major operation and mental health difficulties on top of the whole situation that we've all gone through. Personally, I do think you need to cut yourself some slack.

As long as you can wear the clothes comfortably and they don't dig in and hurt you (believe me, I've been there!), I'd be tempted to say wear them and don't worry about them being flattering. You say that you plan to lose the weight when you are healthy enough to do so. For now, comfort as you get better should take precedence.

Sorry, see you are 14/16

fairly classic www.esprit.co.uk/p/jersey-dress-in-organic-cotton-041EE1E345_400.html#cgid=1224/

print www.esprit.co.uk/p/dress-with-a-graphic-print-and-lenzing--ecovero--061EO1E326.html#cgid=1224/

too casual? www.esprit.co.uk/p/jersey-dress-with-broderie-anglaise--organic-cotton-051EE1E321_400.html#cgid=1224/

too flouncy under bust? www.esprit.co.uk/p/jersey-dress-with-a-print-and-flounces-051CC1E330.html#cgid=1224/

You should dress professionally for your particular occupation.

There is no requirement to dress “flatteringly”.

@fridgepants

Lots of 'unflattering' clothing is very popular - Lucy and Yak dungarees, sportswear, mom jeans, things that don't accentuate the (stereotypical) female figure. It's not really about it being objectively unflattering - it's about how you feel in them, though.

dungarees and sportswear are not unflattering! 😂 Not terribly appropriate for most work places unfortunately.

But I agree with you, it's about how you feel.

Wearing clothes that used to fit you, and show YOU how much weight you have put on is not very good for your self-esteem. Feeling good about yourself matters.

I've just bought this which is surprisingly flattering (and there's a 40% off code too)
https://www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350202663.aspx

I would agree to buy a couple of cheap bits, not for anyone else's sake but if you are conscious enough about it to start a post here you won't be comfortable wearing these clothes on public and will end up fidgeting and fussing with them all day.

I’m overweight. Obese actually. I’ve just started buying nice clothes and feel much better about myself.

Personally I think we treat ourselves better when we feel nice about ourselves and wearing uncomfortable and unflattering clothes doesn’t sound like looking after one’s self.

OP have a look here. They have a sale on.

You are correct to an extent - I'm not sure New Look is the best place for reliably flattering grown up clothes. If you can afford to spend a little more you'll be better pleased with the results.

(I do sympathise with having to manage the after effects of surgery, over Summer, with everything else that's going on, too. You need comfortable clothes that please your mirror and make life easier.)

Sorry, forgot to say - the quality of this brand's fabric is wonderful.

Oversized tshirt would cover your belly, and should look smart enough with a bit of (cheap) jewellery, and would be neutral enough to be worn a couple of times a week.

(cant' find a better example, but that's what I mean)

Would you feel confident going back to work and wearing unflattering clothes?

Lots of things will be less clingy (& therefore be a bit more flattering) if you can stand to wear a slip underneath, if that’s not too hot in this weather. I can hate buying clothes when I am at my largest, but the thing I now realize is this is this when I most need to wear things that look flattering, or I can get down about the way I Look.

I love some of those dresses on La Redoute and a lot have sold out 😭

@Menora the stock tends to change a lot so worth keeping an eye on. I only recommended them as I got distracted buying bedding and bought a dress
This is it (before anyone tells me I'm fat, I'm well aware)

That’s such a nice dress. There is that one and a navy one but the 2 I really wanted is sold out!

I’m sending one of the new look dresses back. It’s so thin, belly or no belly you can see my pant line in it as well. Unless I start wearing slips? I also have another clingy one I am probably going to swerve as well

I was thinking whether a slip/under dress would help you with the clingy but not tight?

I do have a slip. I’m going to try it on with and without if I am brave I will take a photo!

The slip doesn’t help much 😂

This isn’t a great angle but this is what I am trying to hide
Praying it’s swelling 😭

You just had major surgery! Please, please be kind to yourself and do not fret about flattering/unflattering clothes. Your colleagues know you've had surgery, no-one will be judging your appearance- they'll be far more concerned it went well and you're healing and on the mend.
Comfort around your stomach and in the heat are your priorities.
Well, aside from getting well, that is!

If you were wearing a properly fitted, well constructed bra, your sweatshirt (or a dress) would skim straight past your middle ...