To wear things that may be unflattering

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I have put on some weight - physical/mental health related and I do plan to lose it when I am fit enough to do so. I do find losing weight hard. I have to lose at least 2 stone. I had a hysterectomy in May for very large fibroids, and I know it’s maybe still swollen, but I remain looking about 5 months pregnant and it is very noticeable and I feel very self conscious about it.

In the meantime, as weight loss is never fast, I have to wear smart clothing when I return to work, in a no air con, very old badly ventilated office. I have some nice comfortable dresses - knee/mid length, office appropriate and some thin trousers, but having tried them on this year, they all cling to to my stomach area and I don’t think they are very flattering at all. I can’t wear Spanx or anything (and nor do I want to).

I can technically afford to buy new clothes but I would rather not spend the money. AIBU to wear them if unflattering on me? I don’t want to look unprofessional or feel really self conscious either

I really struggle with bras. I can’t wear underwire
This outfit anyway was PJ’s with a lounge bra so isn’t great support
I do need a good bra, non underwire

Well ... Maybe not yet but when the world is a little more normal, take yourself to a proper bra fitters (someone else will know where) and get one or two decent bras. Spend a lot of money. (More than you do on dresses!) Think of it as a way of celebrating your surgery and recovery.

All your clothes will hang so much better afterwards.

Precisely what @LostInTime said.

YANBU but flattering clothes can do absolute wonders for your self image. I'm pregnant at the moment and spent a couple weeks in tracksuit bottoms and tshirts that clung to my stomach (still in the ugly early bump stage) because I didn't know how to dress for my changing body. I caught sight of myself in a full length mirror in one of the shops and looked so frumpy and bigger than I actually am. This week I finally started putting in an effort to go through my wardrobe and put together flattering outfits and bought a few maternity bits, I feel 100 times better about myself now!

I wear unflattering clothes all the time

I like oversized t shirts as dresses and oversized blazers. I’m a petite hourglass and boxy clothing hides my figure and probably doesn’t work well with my height, but it’s how I like to dress 🤷🏼‍♀️

But there's a difference, isn't there, callmemaybee between wearing 'unflattering' clothes (ie clothes that hide one's figure, or things in difficult colours) because one cultivates a certain style (I do this myself all the time) and wearing clothes that don't fit any more because you perhaps don't feel worthy of new stuff?

These are great from H+M. They're light and comfortable and wash well. I'm a 16/18 and get the large (big boots and tummy) and it falls really nicely.
h+m
2
3
Not clingy at all and easy to dress up or down

@MayIDestroyYou that’s your interpretation - doesn’t mean your opinion is correct or is the only interpretation frankly.

OP said she doesn’t want to spend the money as she has plenty of new clothes from last year. I didn’t get “I feel unworthy of new clothes” from that.

It’s completely understandable- is there much point buying a brand new wardrobe for work if you intend to lose the weight and can still wear your current wardrobe? It’s like OP may benefit more from Spanx than a new wardrobe. Also not everyone cares about work to the extent that they’re scared of their colleagues seeing their post-lockdown figure. If OP wants to wear “unflattering” clothes, then I don’t see the issue.

Polyester is cheap but clingy and not good in hot weather. Avoid it if you can.
Some great suggestions on here.

Is it the kind of workplace where you can wear Lagenlook / Made in Italy / Adini / Masai / Sahara clothing?

For dresses that are nice on the hanger but a bit thin and clingy on, buy a slip, its like lining and averything will "hang" better on you. M&S do one in a fabric that they call Coolmax or something so you don't get hot and sweaty. Cheaper slips may create static and cling but the M&S ones dont. They come in various lengths too which is handy.

I know this may sound like an odd suggestion but to get you through this time whilst the swelling goes down down and you are able.to.exercoae properly again etc., have you thought of buying some 'high end' maternity clothes on eBay?

If you look for the work ranges, dresses and trousers, you will have that comfort fit and still look professional. A quick glance and some JOJO mama dresses were around a 5-10 pounds

Good luck luck OP

This dress may or may not be your usual style, OP, and it's probably a lot more than you'd want to spend - but I'm linking it anyway. Because their fabrics are generally wonderful. Because you may see other things you do like. Because their sizing is always generous. Because they'll have a massive sale soon, and you could find several excellent, non-clingy dresses at little more than the price of New Look.

I have bigger boobs and hate underwire bras - did M&S ‘what bra is for you’ type thingy and it said this one. Ordered two and they are fab! Good support and really comfy. And don’t look like a sports bra like lots of the non wired ones

www.marksandspencer.com/wild-blooms-non-wired-total-support-bra-b-g/p/clp60376223

OP, you sound like you could do with a pick me up. You’ve had major surgery and your body needs time to heal. In the meantime, if you can afford it, I think you should treat yourself to some clothes that you feel good in.

If you feel good in something that others might consider unflattering, that’s totally fine, but if you feel self conscious or uncomfortable then you need new clothes.

I'd buy some new bits. If you feel your clothes aren't flattering you'll feel like shit and that will come across to other people.

If you dont want to spend a lot, there are pages on Facebook where people that are losing weight sell stuff really cheaply because no one wants to spend a lot whole they are transitioning. There are all sizes on there. I got an oasis top for £1. www.facebook.com/groups/790466384461086/?ref=share

Thanks for all your comments. DP is taking me into town next week and I will go to M&S. I have wanted a new bra for ages so I will get a couple and a slip too.

I’m considering all the links people sent me re new clothes and looking around. I work 5 days so 2 or 3 items won’t be enough I would need to buy a lot more I think? I need a good mindset though as I am feeling crap then eating crap!

I wish I could just embrace the stomach a bit more, it makes me feel so frumpy. I think wearing frumpy clothes would make me feel worse

I can’t wear Spanx I think I am not meant to because of the internal healing. Also they are so hot

I am struggling with the changes to my body I feel like it doesn’t belong to me it’s all been about my womb for soooo long now

I just wanted to throw this dress into the mix for you. I got a very similar one from M&S a few years ago and it’s a summer staple for me. I know it says beach dress but I wear it everywhere! It’s really nice fabric, very flattering and can look quite smart if you wear different coloured fitted t-shirts under it with nice sandals and a necklace. They do it in a pink pattern too. If you’re going M&S I’d check this out!

www.marksandspencer.com/mini-tiered-beach-dress/p/clp60498007?color=BLACK