Brace yourselves

[Husbandno1]

NC as this may be a controversial topic....

My wife and I are having a ‘lively discussion’ about breastfeeding. There appears to be mixed evidence online. So we thought we would ask this community and see what others thought.
What age do most people stop breastfeeding their child at?
(I have suggested a year btw)
YABU - a year is way too early, children need that boob for ages to come!
YANBU - we/I stopped breastfeeding my child at a year (or under)

She can breastfeed for 6 years, 6 months or not breastfeed at all and the only comment it's appropriate for you to make is 'I support you whatever you decide.'

If the concern is breastfeeding and working I went back when my two were 11 months and 13 months respectively and carried on until they were 2 and nearly 5.

By then I had dropped down to a morning and bedtime feed anyway and so I fed before I left for work and then again after I came back from work. Obviously it helped that I work in an office - it would be harder if I worked shifts.

I didn’t intend to be an extended breast feeder - I remember bursting into tears when dh “helpfully” told me when dd was 3 days old that his mum had fed all her kids for 6 months as that seems an impossibly long time. But then I got to 6 months and I couldn’t be arsed with bottles so decided to carry on until 1. Then I got to 1 and just sort of carried on.

Why are you suggesting anything? @Husbandno1

It's got f*ck all to do with you

I put DS in nursery at 7 months. He bf mornings and evenings until 3.5 years. When I had horribly long days and only got home as he was being put to bed when he was about 2.5 it was a lovely way to reconnect before carrying on with the work at home.

Well I carried on breastfeeding until dd was 2 1/2 and on,y stopped because I fell pregnant again and it was uncomfortable. Tbh, she was only comfort sucking by then anyway.

As others have said, it’s her body so her decision.

I always wanted to BF until 2.

I had viral hepatitis and was extremely ill with an inflamed liver and my milk dried up at 6 weeks.

Because I had it all planned out in my head I was awful to myself and convinced myself I'd failed ds. Especially as he struggled with formula and it took ages to find one he could tolerate.

So in all honesty my advice is decide if you are going to try BF and then just let what happens flow.

You will most likely want to invest in a pump and some bottles for emergencies or if there's an excess you can freeze it.

That way you can help with night feeds if you wife wants it needs it. She can go out if she chooses.

As for returning to work you can either just drop to morning and bedtime feed if your wife wishes to carry on or there are rules around what companies must do for breastfeeding mothers (eg time out to pump etc) which are worth looking into.

But honestly my advice is just to decide if you want to BF or not and not be pressurised into any plans.

Brace yourselves ?

My dh had an opinion on when I should stop feeding our son due to me having an accident and needing pain killers that I wasn't comfortable taking. I decided I'd live with the pain as wanted to carry on breast feeding. Dh said ok and offered support in other ways.

Not your final say.

Oh, and an advantage of bf through the early nursery years is that the baby/toddler is supposed to get an immune system boost from it. Given the bugs they pick up, everything helps.

@Husbandno1

Wow! This was way more heated than I anticipated. Thanks for (some of) your sensible and measured responses.

The reason I suggested a year was that she plans on going back to work after a year, and both financial and practically it might not be possible for her not to work after a year.
We (yes both of us) were actually wondering what others did because it’s our first kid and there is mixed things online to read. Thanks for the resources people have posted.
Some of our friends have breast fed up to five years and others have suggested the baby only needs it up to 6 months. Although the ones that did breastfeed for longer were SAHMs
Anyway, thanks for your collective input.

I'm still breastfeeding my 4 year old and work 30hrs per week

1st four weeks
2nd three years.

It's up to the mother. As she is the one who is doing the breast feeding. Whatever works for the mother and the baby.

I never thought I'd go 3 years. But it worked for us (me and baby.)

I have friends that have done it less than I did with my first. Some that didn't even want to try. One that fed one for 6 months, the other for 6 weeks. One that fed for 18 months with her first, then 10 for her second.

There is no right or wrong. It is what it is. Let your wife decide what it is for her.

DD 7 months.
DS 5 years.

None of your beeswax! And WHO recommends at least 2 years anyway. Does your DW have opinions about how you do your job? Does she argue with you?

The YABU and YANBU options are ridiculous. Every woman and baby's situation is different. I stopped at just under 2 years. I know people that never breast fed either by choice or because they were unable to breastfeed. I also know women who chose to breast feed for a few years. It's whatever works for the mother and baby.

1 year with both of mine - I actually fed DD2 for the last time on her first birthday 😂
Both of mine stopped very easily and with absolutely no fuss whatsoever. A few people I know who fed for longer admitted they wished they’d stopped around then as when they’re a bit older and have more words and more will I think it can make it a bit more difficult to convince them to stop. It’s a bit like potty training - ‘do it before they know they’ve got a choice in the matter’.

Typical man thinks he has the right to decide what is dw does with her breasts. This has eff all to do with you.

My DC decided themselves when they weren’t bothered about breast feeding
DC1 was 13 months DC2 11 months
Once they started really enjoying their food they lost interest in breast and feeds just got less and less until in the end even the bedtime comfort feed wasn’t needed
I was lucky that they were both good sleepers and self soothers if they woke during night

OP, I was back at work after 4.5 months, but with expressing, concentrating feeding during non work hours, and just keeping an evening and morning feed after about a year, we kept feeding for almost 2 years.

My advice is not to make plans (unless it's coming up to one year).

She should do what she feels right for herself and the child when the time comes.
Going back to work shouldn't be a problem for breastfeeding, particularly at one year of age.
By then the baby is eating solids and could well be using a cup.
Breast milk will only be part of the diet, and she and the baby can decide how big that part is. It could be nothing, one feed at night, a couple of feeds per day, or a lot more.

You shouldn't be arguing with her about it, though.

I would suggest reading the evidence and suggestions from WHO. Although, it's mum's choice, imo, and should not be made to feel guilty either way. Perhaps your partner can read up on how to sustain breastfeeding past 1 year if she intends to go back to work and continue, I'm sure there's a lot of information out there on breastfeeding resource/advice and charity websites.

Despite the WHO recommendations, which aren’t necessarily 100% applicable to this country as we have safe drinking water, around 0.5% of women are doing any sort of breastfeeding past the age of children 1 according to a report in the Lancet.

Still breastfeeding my 2yo, wouldn’t recommend it honestly. I’ve had enough but she’s hard to wean. I think 1 is great, I think nothing at all is fine to. It’s so individual, but I would say the majority of mums I know have stopped at a year or before then for one reason or another.

Up to the mum and baby! I hope to breastfeed my daughter for a couple of years though

I returned to work at 9 months by which time DS was feeding 3 times a day and a couple of night feeds. On my work days that was first thing, on nursery pick up and bed time).
Dropped to day feeds (no nursery pick up feed and no night feeds) by 12 months. I was happy to go with that for as long as he wanted. He stopped any feeds at 14 months. It was entirely driven by him so I wouldn't plan too much, go with it and see how things pan out.

I got to 3 months and I was going insane so that was the end for me but each to their own. No awful ramifications. DD has no allergies, is 20 and doing well at a top uni I’d that makes any difference.

My children decided. DS at 11 months - when he realised a bottle provided more milk at a quicker rate! DD at 24 months - and she refused point blank to try a bottle. She still wont touch cows milk today.