She should have had my back? Aibu?

[sunnyblueskys]

I had been good friends with a woman for 10 years,holiday together etc etc
When it was just me and her we got on great but when any of her other friends were out she would talk down to me and try and make me look stupid.
The last year she started being nasty to me,putting me down,commenting on my outfits and she seemed to hate me(I don't understand )
Anyway I'm bisexual and one of her friends is a lesbian.
We started chatting and started to like each other.
Anyway we got close and I think she felt jealous or threatened or whatever.

She did some awful things to me,told some horrible lies about me and put me through hell.
(I've posted before so if your annoyed at me posting again don't be nasty please ,I'm feeling upset enough )
She turned this girl against me who I was sleeping with.
She believed all her lies about me.
My friend of 10 years caused a massive scene to fall out with me as she couldn't stand me having anything to do with this girl.

After a year of seeing each other she cut me off but remained friends with my ex friend.
She knew all the nasty things she did,she knew she had it in for me,she knew she hated us being together and was sabotaging yet still remains friends.

The girl I was sleeping with hasn't got many friends now just my ex friend and two other girls.
So she was never going to have my back was she?
Why didn't she have my back?
Why was I discarded yet still pally pally with this horrible person who was out to destroy me?

OP I mean this in the kindest way: neither of them care about you in any way. I know that is painful but it's true.

Block them both on your phone, all social media and messaging platforms.

Heartbreak and betrayal are very painful but the hurt will lessen in time, as long as you don't have contact with either.

Concentrate on people in your life who DO care about you and practice self care.

I know it isn't easy doing the above but it's the only way to recover from this. Counselling might help too if you can get access to it.

[quote sunnyblueskys]**@DeathStare what a load of rubbish.
You have totally bypassed me explaining all the nasty things ex friend did to me and also bypassed the way my "ex" treated me to paint me as some sort of stalker.

Which btw couldn't be further from the truth.

And sorry to disappoint the lies my friend went to the police with had nothing at all to do with "stalking"
She made my life a misery for months and then the "ex" believed all the poison and joined in.

Sorry if the idea of me being some crazed stalker is more juicy than the actual reality ![/quote]
But you keep posting the same thread hoping for different responses.

You did sound stalkerific in your previous thread and you sound even more obsessive in this one. I agree with @DeathStare, the portrayal of Beth as an ex is a new development.

No one is trying to be mean to you, just trying to get you to see that this situation is toxic and you need to move on. You're not ever going to get the closure you seek, you just need to block and delete everything and start afresh.

I'd have nothing more to do with them and get on with living your life without them. Don't let them occupy anymore of your brain space.

@Cadent I struggle with letting things go when I'm hurt.

[quote sunnyblueskys]@Cadent I struggle with letting things go when I'm hurt.
[/quote]
Are you trying though?

I don't mean to be too harsh because i think the first step towards becoming more resilient is to be kind to yourself. But are you going to make an effort to let this go?

You're caught in an obsessive loop of overthinking here.

It's not that people don't get that what you went through was awful, but are you going to try to let this go now?

What is the point of going round and round the loop for another hundred loops.

Have you blocked them yet?

Are you going to try and change gear now? Are you going to stand in your own corner or take yourself down?

Walk away from the lot of them!

That all sounds like way too much hard work, find a friend/lover that your comfortable with and can be yourself not locking horns with others over, all way too dramatic and not a viable long term relationship.

Please just cut them all out for your own good.

@C0nstance I have the ex friend blocked yes
The ex no I haven't as she said she didn't want to block me and she chose not too (for whatever reason )
I think I have too tho

Do it. You're not messing with her head and causing her pain so she doesn't get to decide that you should still be contactable if she so decides.

Empower yourself and block somebody who has caused you pain.

That is your prerogative.

You need to leap to stand in your own corner. Don't wait for bystanders to agree you were treated badly. You know you were, and whether you were or you weren"t, thinking about her and remembering it causes you pain, so empower yourself now, block her and change gear now.

OP: you can’t keep analysing this. All that you can say is that 2 bitches are out of your life and proceed from there, not giving them another thought.

[quote sunnyblueskys]@Cadent I struggle with letting things go when I'm hurt.
[/quote]
Maybe get some counselling to help? At least you recognise you are struggling to let go.

@C0nstance
Just to say I love your posts. I know they're not for me. But, when I read them, I feel inspired ! They sound so full of energy and charged with great ideas.
I really hope you find them helpful too @sunnyblueskys . Hope you're feeling a bit better as well.

@C0nstance I am going to try and just put it all behind me.
Thankyou for all your advice I appreciate it.
I would have loved an apology from the ex but its safe to say that will never ever happen.

@BlueDucky i have thought about counselling,I need something I think.
Sometimes wish I could just forget