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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my neighbour BU about noise

76 replies

immacyoolat · 05/06/2021 15:49

We live in a cul de sac of bungalows mostly with older people. A lot of the cul de sacs on the estate are also bungalows and the main road through is bigger often detached family homes with a few bungalows. The whole estate is generally quiet as no real through traffic.

Over last few months we have had a couple of kids use the cul de sac to play in and they roller skate or cycle up and down. Only really at weekends and maybe for a few hours at most. It's been half term here last week and they have been here every day.

The kids are not related to anyone on the cul de sac but they have been making normal children noise (I'd say they are early teens). Today elderly neighbour has been out shouting at them for making lots of noise and telling them they shouldn't be here if they don't live here. I could hear as had windows open. By time I got outside to see what was going on they had gone away.

I spoke to neighbour who said he has been speaking to some other neighbours and they are fed up of the noise from these children and they should go to the park. They don't live on the close so shouldn't be playing here and the reason old people move places like this is because of the peace and quiet (his words).

I think my neighbour is BU as they aren't here all the time and he didn't need to shout at them to make his point.

What do you think, is he BU? I'm asking because no doubt I'll get asked about it at some point.

OP posts:
sunshinesupermum · 05/06/2021 15:52

I don't think your neighbour is being unreasonable if the kids don't live there. If they did that would be different.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2021 15:54

If it's a public street you can't just kick people off of it, even if they don't live there. Doesn't work that way.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/06/2021 16:00

Realistically he needs to move into a retirement village if he wants children to be neither seen nor heard in the wild.

It's annoying, but they've chosen a relatively safe space to play in, just as he would have done when he was a kid. Unless they are doing damage or unsafe I'm not sure there is any other option than to change how you react to it - enjoy their fun rather than resenting their presence, sort of thing.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 05/06/2021 16:03

I guess it could be annoying if the kids don't live there but personally unless they're being antisocial I wouldn't begrudge them a safer street to play on and I certainly wouldn't shout at them. It is presumably a public road so he has no right to tell them to leave.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/06/2021 16:03

YANBU
Early teens - irritating, but if elderly neighbour is getting aggressive, I hope they don't take revenge - either his house of violence towards him.

Have a very tiny elderly neighbour in my apartment block who started shouting abuse at people when we'd stopped have a conversation in the street. She has form for saying varying neighbours "pick on her".
I gently pointed out that being so aggressive might cause retaliation - she merrily said she'd only done it because I was there, and they wouldn't do/say anything because of that Hmm
They were local neighbours that I know to say hello to, but not well. Sooo embarrassing.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 05/06/2021 16:03

Many years ago we had a bunch of very noisy kids playing outside our house. It escalated as they started playing with a ball that was hitting our car/windows.
DH asked them where they lived and went round to speak to a parent. Who told DH she had told the kids to play there as she didn’t like the noise/disruption outside her house. To be fair they did stop (I assumed they went outside someone else’s house instead)

Wearywithteens · 05/06/2021 16:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

TotorosCatBus · 05/06/2021 16:08

As the kids don't live there that's not ok imo.

BlueDucky · 05/06/2021 16:08

They don't own the road

Mellonsprite · 05/06/2021 16:08

If they’re just playing normally then poor kids, if they’re shrieking and shouting and bring a nuisance then sounds like they need telling.

44PumpLane · 05/06/2021 16:08

To be fair, I don't blame him. You move somewhere quiet and others send their kids round to play because it's quiet, thus ruining the quiet.

I understand that legally he has no right over the public highway outside his home but genuinely I do get where he's coming from, although I may be influenced by the fact I have two 4.5 year olds who are loud all the time and I wouldn't want to inflict that on others!

Annoymoususer · 05/06/2021 16:12

Thing is they may invite their friends to hang out there as well and before you know it they'll be hanging about there all the time, esp if kids aren't from area they may well cause havoc. Not saying these particular kids will but don't bank on their out of town mates to behave.

MasterBeth · 05/06/2021 16:14

Your neighbour is a cheeky fucker who doesn’t own the public realm outside her house.

warmandtoasty2day · 05/06/2021 16:17

sitting on the fence with one.

RaraRachael · 05/06/2021 16:20

He sounds like my neighbours, but they pick and choose who to shout at. For example, if my neighbours' grandchildren are visiting, they'll be making a fuss of them, giving them sweets etc, but if we had grandchildren, they'd be shouting at them for making even the slightest bit of noise.

Staffy1 · 05/06/2021 16:23

I don't think he's being unreasonable. It used to bug me enough when brats in the same cul-de-sac used to gather outside our house instead of their own to yell and scream. These really were brats from hell though, five of them from the same family and their equally nasty friends from elsewhere that used to glare at adults and swear constantly, the oldest probably about 10. Never bothered me much when normal children used to play in the road before then, but I can still see your neighbour's point if they don't even live on the road.

GintyMcGinty · 05/06/2021 16:28

He sounds pretty obnoxious IMO and BU

Original poster
immacyoolat · 05/06/2021 16:35

So a mix of views. It is yes absolutely a public road. So far it has only just been these two and not had any others. They aren't causing any trouble as such and move out the way when I get my car out.

They don't bother me so much as it really has been no more than a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon but I can understand it must have been more annoying this week. I couldn't really hear as I work at home but towards the back of the bungalow, if I was in the lounge it would be more noticeable. All the lounges face onto the road.

Maybe neighbours think over the summer holidays they will cause more noise so nipping it in the bud now I don't know. I'll have a word with him at some point he's okay as a neighbour but once he starts talking he never stops.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 05/06/2021 16:52

Personally I enjoy the sound of children playing and I think you are right that there was no need to shout at them. Well brought up children will pay attention if you ask them not to do something and badly brought up children will not. Shouting does not help in either of those situations.

Chamonixshoopshoop · 05/06/2021 16:53

YANBU, poor kids. They need to roam a bit after such a shit year, in which they sacrificed their schooling/life to protect people like your neighbour.

SparklingStars10 · 05/06/2021 16:57

He is being unreasonable, as it’s a public place, people always have something to moan about, at least their not in the middle of town, abusing the public, using catapults and killing ducks and using obscene language like a number of youth are doing in our town centre.

I8toys · 05/06/2021 17:00

He's being unreasonable. None of you own the public highway. Jesus they haven't been able to go out and when they do they get shouted at.

Bluedeblue · 05/06/2021 17:02

I don't blame him! Let the kids play outside their own homes. Our street doesn't have any young kids any more, but a few years back they used to play outside with massive bouncy balls until 11pm - ridiculous. We've also had people come here (village green) with their young kids at 8am, screaming and running around. Nobody wants to be woken up by someone else's children. Just because the parents may have been up since 6am, doesn't mean it's okay to inflict noise on others whose children have grown up, thanks very much. Just pee off!

colouringcrayons · 05/06/2021 17:02

We have this, it doesn't bother me much. We are at the quieter end of the area and some kids from round the corner come up here. BUT they don't come for long at a time (I do wonder if they have been advised by their parents to move it around a bit) and they don't shout. Skateboards make quite an annoying noise after a while, I have no issue with bikes.

My only issue really is if they are doing anything unsafe as I dislike having to worry about other people's kids but I did go out once and advise that lying down in the road wasn't a wise idea Hmm. I think I feel OK because I know where they live so if it got too much I would speak to their parents.

Notaroadrunner · 05/06/2021 17:05

I don't think the neighbour is unreasonable. If the children don't live in the estate then they have no business being there. I'm sure they have other spaces they can go to. We live in a quiet estate and if kids started coming in to play I imagine there would be a few older neighbours telling them (though can't imagine any of them shouting) to play in their own estate, or in the park. There's no way I'd allow my kids to head off to another estate to play unless they were going to play with someone who lived there.

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