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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my neighbour BU about noise

76 replies

immacyoolat · 05/06/2021 15:49

We live in a cul de sac of bungalows mostly with older people. A lot of the cul de sacs on the estate are also bungalows and the main road through is bigger often detached family homes with a few bungalows. The whole estate is generally quiet as no real through traffic.

Over last few months we have had a couple of kids use the cul de sac to play in and they roller skate or cycle up and down. Only really at weekends and maybe for a few hours at most. It's been half term here last week and they have been here every day.

The kids are not related to anyone on the cul de sac but they have been making normal children noise (I'd say they are early teens). Today elderly neighbour has been out shouting at them for making lots of noise and telling them they shouldn't be here if they don't live here. I could hear as had windows open. By time I got outside to see what was going on they had gone away.

I spoke to neighbour who said he has been speaking to some other neighbours and they are fed up of the noise from these children and they should go to the park. They don't live on the close so shouldn't be playing here and the reason old people move places like this is because of the peace and quiet (his words).

I think my neighbour is BU as they aren't here all the time and he didn't need to shout at them to make his point.

What do you think, is he BU? I'm asking because no doubt I'll get asked about it at some point.

OP posts:
Anjo2011 · 05/06/2021 18:58

I wouldn’t like it , however I would have to accept that my wants don’t trump theirs.

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 19:01

ElephantOfRisk

Yes, I’d wait, because I’m not a thug. I wouldn’t threaten to drive over children’s belongings. It’s really not a normal reaction.

ElephantOfRisk · 05/06/2021 19:04

@MrsBongiovi

ElephantOfRisk

Yes, I’d wait, because I’m not a thug. I wouldn’t threaten to drive over children’s belongings. It’s really not a normal reaction.

He did wait and then they decided they weren't shifting and wanted him to sit there on the road while he and other cars can't move in or out of the street? Oh behave! They had time to move. So working adults are just supposed to indulge cheeky kids. No wonder there are so many entitled kids and adults.
ElephantOfRisk · 05/06/2021 19:07

He can't be that bad, kid next door was disappointed he'd finished painting the fence for the day and wasn't available for chatting anymore so came to the door asking if he's coming back out.

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 19:12

ElephantOfRisk

You can’t threaten children. Ever. Find out where they live and have a word with the parents. Or speak to them, in the first instance. But don’t threaten them. If you threaten already cheeky kids, it’ll just escalate. Your husband was the adult here. I’d be completely embarrassed if my partner acted like that. You sound almost proud. These kids will grow up and give you much more grief than playing cricket. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ElephantOfRisk · 05/06/2021 19:26

He didn't threaten children he threatened their stuff. He knows where they live, they live in the street that they were blocking. The parents should have been watching and told them that the entrance road to the street was a stupid place to play. It didn't escalate, thankfully we live in a street where people in general don't take any shit.

I'm neither proud or not proud, it is what it is.

I think we have very different outlooks to be honest. I don't overindulge children's poor behaviour, neither mine or anyone else's.

They are lucky that DH was going slowly (being mindful of people and pets) and was able to stop. A delivery van could have totalled the lot of them. What they should have done is actually think that it was a stupid place to play, when they realised that cars were likely to want to drive on the road then they should have shifted, not held up their hands expecting adults to wait.

flippertygibbit · 05/06/2021 19:29

When I eventually move to my retirement bungalow then I'm moving there for peace and quiet and not to have kids who don't live there play there because it's nice and quiet..................

catfeets · 05/06/2021 19:31

Neighbour isn't being unreasonable at all. The kids don't live there so they should sod off to a park - that's what they're provided for.

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 19:50

They are lucky that DH was going slowly (being mindful of people and pets) and was able to stop. A delivery van could have totalled the lot of them.

They weren’t ‘lucky’ that your husband was in control of his vehicle. That’s the minimum expectation when you drive. ‘Totalled the life of them’....fucking hell.

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 19:51

*lot

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 19:53

When I eventually move to my retirement bungalow then I'm moving there for peace and quiet and not to have kids who don't live there play there because it's nice and quiet

Then make sure your retirement bungalow isn’t near a public road. If it is, you can’t guarantee that peace and quiet unfortunately,

Moonwatcher1234 · 05/06/2021 19:53

Poor kids...no wonder they all want to just sit at home on their screens...we’ve really lost that kind nurturing attitude towards kids. So they are making noise when playing...I’d rather they are doing that then sitting on their PlayStations whey faced and zombified for hours at a time.

Moonwatcher1234 · 05/06/2021 19:58

@ElephantOfRisk

He didn't threaten children he threatened their stuff. He knows where they live, they live in the street that they were blocking. The parents should have been watching and told them that the entrance road to the street was a stupid place to play. It didn't escalate, thankfully we live in a street where people in general don't take any shit.

I'm neither proud or not proud, it is what it is.

I think we have very different outlooks to be honest. I don't overindulge children's poor behaviour, neither mine or anyone else's.

They are lucky that DH was going slowly (being mindful of people and pets) and was able to stop. A delivery van could have totalled the lot of them. What they should have done is actually think that it was a stupid place to play, when they realised that cars were likely to want to drive on the road then they should have shifted, not held up their hands expecting adults to wait.

Great not to overindulge your own children’s poor behaviour but not really great to threaten other people’s children in that way. I have sympathy for your problem but surely the thing to do is speak to the parents? Never play for a grown adult to intimidate kids like that.
Moonwatcher1234 · 05/06/2021 19:59

Sorry...I meant it’s never okay

Rfjkf · 05/06/2021 20:00

Just because they can play there doesn't mean they should. If there's a park close by then he's right, they should go there.
That's nothing to stop me from parking my car outside my neighbour's house. Doesn't mean that it's right.

MrsBongiovi · 05/06/2021 20:26

Rfjkf

Right? They’re just your made up rules. They don’t have to go to the park, you can park outside your neighbours house. Public road.

ElephantOfRisk · 05/06/2021 21:19

Great not to overindulge your own children’s poor behaviour but not really great to threaten other people’s children in that way. I have sympathy for your problem but surely the thing to do is speak to the parents? Never play for a grown adult to intimidate kids like that.

Okay so is he supposed to just leave his car in the middle of the street and go round the houses of half a dozen kids to ask their parents to get them to move?

No, he waited politely and when they didn't move and instead basically told him to wait he told them off. Jeez, and they call this a nation of snowflakes as if people aren't causing it. Kids are hardly traumatised. I reckon to do that in the first place they were overconfident. They certainly weren't intimidated believe me. Getting their corners knocked off doesn't do them any harm.

And yes, he was driving carefully. However delivery vans speed in and out and one of the parents of one of the playing DC is also a bit flagrant with speed expectations. I'd expect my kids to have more sense than to play cricket in the street and if they didn't then I'd be watching them. Funnily enough they've not done it since...

Rfjkf · 06/06/2021 12:48

@MrsBongiovi. You've spectacularly missed the point. Of course you can do these things, bit that starchy mean that it's right to do them

MrsBongiovi · 06/06/2021 13:32

I haven’t missed the point at all. I just don’t agree with you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 06/06/2021 13:51

@Rfjkf

Just because they can play there doesn't mean they should. If there's a park close by then he's right, they should go there. That's nothing to stop me from parking my car outside my neighbour's house. Doesn't mean that it's right.
This!
choli · 06/06/2021 17:52

You can’t threaten children. Ever.
I'd say yours must be a pleasure with that attitude.

Macncheeseballs · 06/06/2021 18:42

But it is right to park your car outside your neighbour's house, its a public road. He sounds like a miserable old bastard, it's nice that kids play in the street

RedMarauder · 06/06/2021 18:55

I think your neighbour is being unreasonable unless the kids are being destructive.

There are few traffic free public roads where kids can safely play.

Also many parks deliberately now exclude older primary and younger secondary school aged children who can safely play without adult supervision. This is particularly harmful to girls who don't want to play football as limits their physical activity. Not everyone has parents who can afford for them to do extra curricular physical activities.

princesslarmadrama · 06/06/2021 19:05

Why would anybody want strangers children playing outside their home if they don't live on that street. Ppl spouting it's a public road would not like it either if a group of random kids were outside their house making a load of noise.

ThursdayWeld · 06/06/2021 19:07

It's not up to you to decide what your neighbours should and should not put up with.

If they ask you about the teens, just say you don't mind.