How much did your 16yo spend on their prom dress?

[SpongebobNoPants]

I have no idea how much these dresses cost but we’ve been asked to pay £500 towards SD’s prom outfit which seems really excessive?
Her dress alone is £500

When DP expressed some surprise (and announce to be honest) at the cost he was told everyone spends that much?
Are we just old and out of the loop or is this excessive?

I really want SD to have an amazing time! It’s been a shit year for the kids. We just can’t afford £500 last minute... but neither can her mum which is why the budget is ridiculous really.
I’m just annoyed she did it all without speaking to DP first, it’s like she’s setting us up to be the bad guys which is a narrative she enjoys.

She did it in January for SD’s 16th birthday where she promised her £600 trainers and then expected us to pay £400 towards them last minute too. Beer in mind we’d already got presents and other bits and bobs in mind for her.
It’s frustrating because when we had to say no we’ve already bought XYZ items and can’t spend that she told SD that we’d refused to contribute towards the trainers

£8

There is a 'boutique' charity shop near us that sells things like prom dresses, bridal wear, bridesmaid dresses, wedding guest outfits..
It is FAB.

However, I know a lot of parents who have had girls go to porms over the last 10 years of so and I know NOBODY who has spent more than about £70 on a dress.
I acknowledge we all tend to mix with people who are similar to ourselves, and that there are no doubt some folk that go overboard, and also some folk who are loaded and wouldn't bat an eyelid at that sort of cost BUT I think you'll find it is not 'usual' and it is definitely not 'needed'

Dress £55 in Jane Norman sale (but everyone asked her if was Ted Baker)
Hair by me; make-up by her
Nails £25
Shoes and bag borrowed from me.
Corsage made by me prob £10 from the florist wholesalers

DDs dress cost £80 and the same for the shoes, I hoped she would wear both again, and to be fair the shoes have been used a few times at formal events in 6th form.
But the dress has never been worn again & DD has decided she doesn’t like it snd will never wear it again!
What made the biggest difference was DD had her teeth braces removed 2 days before prom so turned up with the most beautiful smile

At her (posh) 6th form she generally wore dresses costing around £60 at the 6th form formals, and will be taking most of them to uni with her as they’re far more stylish than her long prom dress!

I don’t understand why if the overall total is likely to be £700, you should pay more than two thirds? Would a split of £350 have been the norm even without deciding if the cost is excessive in general.

Without know the school, her social circle etc it’s hard to know if everyone she knows really is spending £500 and this has skewed her ideas. It is a lot of money but I also think if you’re the odd one out it’s easy to feel hard done by.

I tend to put wedding dresses at around £1.5-2k, just as that’s what friends seem to spend, even though I got married in a slip dress from Miss Selfridge back in the day.

My daughter went to quiz and I kid you not picked a neon pink jacket and short jumpsuit for her prom.. Her cousin did her makeup and I did her hair

100 quid!
Tell her mother she wants expense she pays for it herself or tell your sd to get a paper round. All her mother is teaching her is the value of nothing but endless amounts of cash

I know girls like to look special but proms are American wish we would go back to end of year dances, it was cheaper

£220 a beautiful dress from Ghost which will age well and take her through any formal events at university. She wants to do her own hair and make up, so just shoes to add.

£500 TOWARDS it is ludicrous in my very humble opinion.

@SpongebobNoPants

This is typical of her mum... she doesn’t work but agrees to things with SD then expects us to pick up the tab.

She’s taken her today to buy her dress but didn’t tell us prior that’s what she’s doing or even that her prom was actually going ahead!

It feels like she’s setting us up to be the bad guys all the time.

“Yes darling, you can have whatever you want” but then has no means to pay for it!

I'd still say no. All I'd hand over would be £100, max. If the mother put £100 in the pot then 200 should be plenty for dress, hair, nails and make up, and to chip in on a limo with her friends. And that's being generous, I don't agree with this prom nonsense.

I spent £250 14 years ago on DD2's dress - it was from Coast and it's pure silk gauze and she can still wear it! Shoes were from Monsoon, hair by our home hairdresser and makeup by her sister DD1. It was wildly extravagant and we had the day out together in London making memories and stayed with DD1 in her student house. She came home across the country just to do her sister's makeup.

£500 is silly money when DH didn't even know or get consulted! He should offer the ex to go halves, and make sure he sees receipts.

Without know the school, her social circle etc it’s hard to know if everyone she knows really is spending £500 and this has skewed her ideas. It is a lot of money but I also think if you’re the odd one out it’s easy to feel hard done by

Just an average, state secondary school in the Midlands... not in a middle class area, not a private school or anything

DD was about 90 8 years ago which I thought outrageous then.

I've just seen that this is for a 16 year old! We only do "prom" leavers ball in year 13. I wouldn't spend much for a 16 year old - their taste will change dramatically so limited future use.

Pretty sure my prom was £20 for the ticket, cant have been much more than £20 for the dress (high street chain, little black satin dress with diamante trims) wore accessories I already had and did my own make up.

You can easily get proper ball gowns for £20-£50 even brand new (I use to go to galas as part of my job so have bought a few in my time) so no not of my kids will get a £300 dress for prom - I didnt spend that much on my own wedding dress.

Poor kid. No wonder her mental health is shot if her mum hasn’t taught her the value of things. It’s a terrible lesson to think you can buy your happiness.

Some competitive under spending here!
Some do spend a lot, it's not just the dress it's the hair and transport as well. Around here (village comp) there were lots of farm vehicles at no expense whatsoever.
I was glad I had boys though, a new suit which could be re-worn.

I'm a bit surprised Proms can happen this year though.

That's utterly ridiculous! £500? Will she wear it again?
My DD (17) missed out on her prom last year for obvious reasons but beforehand we agreed a budget of about £100 max plus accessories, nails etc. If I said to my DD 'I've got £500 for your dress' she would tell me not to be so ridiculous then probably say 'can I spend £100 on the dress and have the £400 in cash?'

DD1's dress cost £90 three years before that. It was what she wanted and came from a lady who did all the schools around from a converted garage! It did her for uni balls and formal events for the next ten years or so.

Has SD been shopping in Chanel?

Presumably if the mother is too lazy to work and the SD is expecting the bank of dad to fork out for it she is unlikely to think economy, is she? Tell her it's her mother's responsibility not your DP's.

£10 for the event fee for me. I borrowed a dress and wore dr martens boots as it was 2001 and I was clearly cool as fuck.

Schools round here are gathering up pre loved dresses, having them cleaned and repaired in school and renting them to students as a way to make money to keep the prom costs down. They’ve done it for yrs now and Ex students oft donate their dresses.

@Hax

Some competitive under spending here! Some do spend a lot, it's not just the dress it's the hair and transport as well. Around here (village comp) there were lots of farm vehicles at no expense whatsoever. I was glad I had boys though, a new suit which could be re-worn.

I'm a bit surprised Proms can happen this year though.

Our school is holding it at school so there's no chance of cancellation.

DD has had two proms (one end of GCSEs and one at end of A Levels) Prom one dress was £40, shoes £20, did her own hair and makeup. Prom two dress was £60, shoes were the same ones and she did her own hair and makeup again. There is no way she would have wanted us to spend hundreds!

@Hax

Some competitive under spending here! Some do spend a lot, it's not just the dress it's the hair and transport as well. Around here (village comp) there were lots of farm vehicles at no expense whatsoever. I was glad I had boys though, a new suit which could be re-worn.

I'm a bit surprised Proms can happen this year though.

Thinking back, I re-wore my sister’s prom dress (itself quite cheap from Quiz) to one of the balls I went to at university. So the trick is to have multiple daughters of the same size, if you can’t have sons

@tiredanddangerous

That's more than my wedding dress cost

That's what I thought!

I would expect most people to be able to find a lovely dress for less than £100, there really is no need for a 16 yr old to be spending £500 on a dress for one night.

"Prom" in Yr 11 was a daytime boat trip so nothing new required. This time (Yr13) is a full ball. DD has had one of my dresses altered so £80 plus £20 for a bag. Already has shoes etc. She has an allowance so if she wants to buy new make up she can spend her own money on it.

For £500 it is possible to pick up a pretty timeless dress by a big name designer - Versace/Prada etc from ebay which would probably last her as long as she could fit in it.

Beautiful dress from ASOS 5 years ago for £50. Hair done for free as she worked weekends at local hairdressers. She had an amazing time. It doesn’t do them good to spend that kind of money for a prom-not unless you’re wealthy and it doesn’t matter. What will it be next time? That money would be far better put in a LISA or other savings for her future or towards a car when she’s older.