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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How much did your 16yo spend on their prom dress?

469 replies

SpongebobNoPants · 05/06/2021 14:30

I have no idea how much these dresses cost but we’ve been asked to pay £500 towards SD’s prom outfit which seems really excessive?
Her dress alone is £500 Shock

When DP expressed some surprise (and announce to be honest) at the cost he was told everyone spends that much?
Are we just old and out of the loop or is this excessive?

OP posts:
Littlepaws18 · 06/06/2021 21:04

I think what concerns me is your SD (and her Mom's) total lack of financial awareness. How at 16, can a £9 an hour job be not acceptable to her, yet a £500 dress is?!!! How at whatever age her mother is spending £500 of someone else's money without consulting them, then being shocked when they won't cough up!

She's going to have one utter shock in adulthood when she realises the cost of living. All I can say is I hope she is dedicated to her studies as much as she is to fashion!

HoppyHop · 06/06/2021 21:16

Dress £75 from ASOS; £30 for alterations. Hair & make up by older DD £30. Shoes: £40.
£500 is madness. Even DD's more extravagant friends didn't spend more than £200 on their dresses.

AmigoingcrZy · 06/06/2021 21:20

I am a twin, both of us girls so when we were 16 my mum had double to pay! Our dad passed away 3 years earlier so there was noone to help. We got £100 each to spend on dress, shoes and accessories and our older cousin who is a hairdresser did our hair and makeup for free. This was 2011.

Heatherjayne1972 · 06/06/2021 21:32

£100 for dress shoes accessories hair and make up.

In 2018

ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 06/06/2021 21:36

Did you expect something that rude to be met with bland niceness?

I was rude about a dance/event, not a person. What an overreaction.

LandoMilkNHoney · 06/06/2021 21:39

My prom was in 2010 and I'm not sure how much exactly but including alterations it was around £160-180 I think. For my 6th form prom I got something from Quiz for about £20. £500 is ridiculous Shock

Darbs76 · 06/06/2021 21:41

I’ve seen people I know on FB pay that amount. Madness

Madjakelmum · 06/06/2021 22:16

It’s obviously not just for the prom dress. There is so much more - my daughters prom breakdown
Prom dress £200
Ticket for prom £30
Hair £75
Nails £35
Car £180
Lashes £30
Shoes £30
Bag £30
Accessories £40

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 06/06/2021 22:44

@Barton10

£80 in Coast in the sale 9 years ago. She desperately wanted one for £220 but I refused to pay that much. She wore it for a few hours then I donated it to a charity which supplies dresses to girls who can’t afford to buy their own.
Right attitude!!

I'm sure someone really appreciated your donation!

It's not about how much you spend, it's all about how you wear it!

To those who think of it as a right of passage, is it really? I thought it was an American thing!! Only recently has it become a thing here.

I went to a posh private boarding school. We had a leavers ball which I guess is the same kind of idea, but no one spent all that much on their dresses and we did our hair and make up ourselves, not sure we were particularly bothered about nails. Not a limo in sight! It's all so tacky and over the top these days.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 06/06/2021 23:49

£800 but it’s a classically beautiful dress AND it was reduced from £1,400.

winnieanddaisy · 06/06/2021 23:49

We went shopping yesterday with my DD and DGD for her prom dress . She loved a gorgeous pink and gold ballgown costing £469 . She did try on a few cheaper ones (£260) but they didn't look as lovely on . Her parents and I went half each so she could have the one she wanted . DGD has bought her shoes herself. Her mum will pay for her hair and makeup and she has paid for her nails herself .
Meanwhile other 16 year old DGD in Wales has only requested £40 for her dress !

RedthroatedCaracara · 07/06/2021 00:04

Why do they need a professional make up artist - don't young women do their own?

And hair? My DD has spent much of lockdown perfecting curls and practising up-dos. It's embarrassing the amount of pampering we facilitate for young women.

Quaggars · 07/06/2021 00:08

Why do they need a professional make up artist - don't young women do their own?

I'd do my own - that is if I decided to wear any in the first place lol
I wouldn't judge anyone wanting to get a professional in though, if that's what they're comfortable with/happy doing

BackforGood · 07/06/2021 00:43

My daughters dress was £400 , then there is hair , nails , tan , makeup , shoes , bag , jewellery as well as the prom ticket , and that was a few years ago so 1k prob right

Or, you could remember this is a bunch of 16 (or 15) year olds going to a meal and a dance with the kids they've been at school with for 5 years.

By 15/16, dc should have the understanding of a budget. "We will give you £X. Up to you if you want to but a ridiculously priced more expensive dress and wear those shoes you already have / buy a cheaper dress and be able to get some new shoes too or spend time getting ready with your friends and each do each others hair and make up / use some of the money to pay someone else to do it but obviously you'll have less then to spend on clothes or buy second hand (e-bay / charity shop / local selling sites) and have money left over for 3 other nights out etc etc
Tends to focus the mind a bit over
"Yes, dd, I'll buy your dress and accessories for you"

Also good life skills for so many more occasions.

but I say again, the main issue with this is the SD's DM demanding money for something she has spent without consulting the person she is demanding the money from before spending it. Not the amount per se even though I think that is a ridiculous amount.

asprinklingofsugar · 07/06/2021 01:02

My prom dress (less than a decade ago) cost £60 or £70 - no more than that. I do remember thinking that that was a silly amount to spend on a dress I’d only wear once, but I’ve never done things like dressing up girly very often and my mum was quite keen I should have the dress I wanted and I liked it so... I was obviously naive at how much things cost 😂 I also got shoes because I didn’t have any that were suitable, and a clutch bag because I didn’t have one. I think they were around £30 each and both them and the dress came from quiz. I did get my hair and makeup/nails done. And I’m not sure how much it was but I would estimate that the total cost of my outfit wasn’t much more than £200. I’ve still got the dress in my wardrobe plus the shoes, and they both still fit so I can wear them again if I want to!

RedthroatedCaracara · 07/06/2021 01:37

I wouldn't judge anyone wanting to get a professional in though, if that's what they're comfortable with/happy doing
Why would a 16 year old want to get a "professional" to do her make up for the school disco?

Cantbelieveit101 · 07/06/2021 04:29

Im in Australia, year 12 formal.
Dress was $600, hair and make up $175, shoes $95, bag $50, nails $100.

Celandines · 07/06/2021 07:12

£40

KeepSmiling89 · 07/06/2021 07:24

I had a Christmas dance in my last 2 years at high school (age 16 and 17). I'm 32 now.
First dress was £140 (a designer one from Debenhams) second one was £75 I think from Wallis.
Hair done by me or my mum. Shoes from charity shop or under £20 somewhere and accessories etc from what I already had at home or borrowed from my mum.

£500 is a bit excessive for a prom dress IMHO

LimeAndLemons · 07/06/2021 07:38

DD was at boarding school and they had lots of formal dinners where a long dress was compulsory, shoulders covered etc. She had quite a few dresses from Chichi, so around £60-£80 each.

For her leavers ball she had a dress from ASOS which was about £30 in the sale.

Surprisingly very few of the girls' parents spent a fortune on outfits.

DD managed to buy 4 long formal gowns in the closing down sale at Debenhams, paid about £35 in total (they were ridiculously cheap and BOGOF!) which will do her for dinners and balls at uni once things get back to normal.

I'd cry paying £500 for a prom dress!

singsingbluesilver · 07/06/2021 08:02

The whole prom thing has gone crazy. I honestly think it is time for it to come to an end. There are so many kids who are miserable because they cannot compete with all of the crazy spending - and they are under so much pressure to 'fit in'.

My dd had a dress from ebay that cost under £20. She looked amazing. However we both a have a very practical approach to these things. She also is very eco aware so embraces the chance to reuse and recycle. She also attended a school with a lot of peers who felt the same. Even so, there were some in her year griup who spent well into the £100s. Crazy.

Prom has become a huge business - dresses, suits, hair, make up, limos, even helicopters!!! It is a distraction to many in the months when they should be focused on exams. Just get rid of it. Best to have a ceremony of achievement and let the kids sort out their own celebration with their circle of friends.

BluebellsGreenbells · 07/06/2021 08:06

It’s tradition here for the year group to head to the beach on the last day of school.

The police walk round to ensure they are safe and no one has been left!

So much cheaper and a lot more fun than prom.

bigbaggyeyes · 07/06/2021 08:09

£500! Shock nope if it was my dd there's no way I'd spend that much.

legotruck · 07/06/2021 08:21

@BluebellsGreenbells

It’s tradition here for the year group to head to the beach on the last day of school.

The police walk round to ensure they are safe and no one has been left!

So much cheaper and a lot more fun than prom.

Ours always have a BBQ piss up on the beach for their last day. They have the formal a few weeks later usually.

Pottedpalm · 07/06/2021 08:51

Having attended a fair few proms as a teacher, I think they are something of a let down for the kids. All that money for limos, even a tank and a helicopter!
Lots of photos but then a usually dull meal in a function room and a bit of dancing. Then they change into more casual clothes and hoof it to after parties. Huge waste of money imo!