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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much did your 16yo spend on their prom dress?

469 replies

SpongebobNoPants · 05/06/2021 14:30

I have no idea how much these dresses cost but we’ve been asked to pay £500 towards SD’s prom outfit which seems really excessive?
Her dress alone is £500 Shock

When DP expressed some surprise (and announce to be honest) at the cost he was told everyone spends that much?
Are we just old and out of the loop or is this excessive?

OP posts:
ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 06/06/2021 19:08

Are you American, op? Or is the pointless garbage in the uk now?

mathanxiety · 06/06/2021 19:10

@5128gap

My DS spent more on his suit, shirt, tie, and formal shoes, which he wore for high school graduation and a week later to prom, than his four sisters combined did over the years.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up appropriately for a formal event, putting on makeup, doing your hair, and generally putting a bit of effort into your appearance. The teenagers doing this are not little children any more. Why pretend that they are not well on their way to adulthood?

gottakeeponmovin · 06/06/2021 19:10

About 150 no way would I spend 500. Although hair and make up will also need to be done

linsey2581 · 06/06/2021 19:10

Unfortunately I will have spent £0 on my 17year old daughters dress as leavers dance was cancelled again this year due to Covid. Instead they had a leavers barbecue for their last day on Friday (4th June). I was gutted for her as she has worked extremely hard in and out of school. She was up until just past midnight last week finishing her advanced higher English dissertation. I’m very proud of her ❤️😃

geekchicz · 06/06/2021 19:13

Hire the dress ? Buy gorgeous shoes and accessoriestgat will used again That’s what I’ve advised our yr11’s to do .

jwpetal · 06/06/2021 19:15

that is over the top. just give your amount you agreed. IMO that is still too much.

mathanxiety · 06/06/2021 19:17

@ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind

Prom is a thing. Get used to it.

It very likely migrated to the UK from Ireland, where schools have been holding very similar 'debutante balls' aka debs from time immemorial.

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 06/06/2021 19:19

What has her Dad getting married got to do with the price of a prom dress? We don't know how long they've been divorced for, how long the OP has been in a relationship with her father - it may be longer than he was married to her mother!

He was never married to their mother and was with her less than 5 years and have been split for 11.5 years, we’ve been together 6 years.
I will be the only wife he’s ever had and the marriage will be the first for both of us.

Are you American, op? Or is the pointless garbage in the uk now?
We live in the Midlands and yes this prom stuff seems to be really commonplace now.

Hire the dress?
We can’t... her DM has already purchased the dress.

OP posts:
Lollipoplew · 06/06/2021 19:25

My daughters dress alone was £450 without shoes, makeup, hair, bag etc...

ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 06/06/2021 19:30

Prom is a thing. Get used to it

Crikey, why are you so aggressive about it?

Youneverknowwhatyourgonnaget · 06/06/2021 19:34

The whole thing is ridiculous now! Why can’t they get a nice coast or phase eight dress it’s all so over the top! Iv spoke to my girl about hers next year and we have said we will get a nice reasonably priced dress then I will take her away somewhere if we’re ever allowed! I could not justify £500 on a dress to wear for one night ever!

anon666 · 06/06/2021 19:34

I do think it's disturbing. It puts pressure on people to spend stupid amounts.

I feel so sorry for you all. If her mum doesn't work, how does she afford the other half of the £500?

Maybe it's her way of saying she's valued, misguided though. Sad

Personally it's not my thing. I always think there's a bit of a "gypsy wedding" feel to spending too much when you can't afford it. Ostentatious displays of wealth are really not fashionable in the middle classes, only the lower and upper classes, so I guess unless you're coming from the same cultural reference point it's really hard to judge.

cookiemon666 · 06/06/2021 19:36

Dress- £36 from Popsy
Converse-£15 from Facebook
Hair-£30
Nails-£30
Make up- free as oldest daughters best friend is doing it.

No way I would be coughing up £500. My kids wouldn't ask for that either tho

cherish123 · 06/06/2021 19:36

Excessive

legotruck · 06/06/2021 19:38

@ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind

Are you American, op? Or is the pointless garbage in the uk now?

In the UK now Grin

My sister left school in 2005 and they had a formal. The dance was held in the school hall rather than a hired venue as they do now, but they all had the same prom dresses they wear now.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/06/2021 19:39

I could not justify £500 on a dress to wear for one night ever

Bit like a wedding dress as they easily cost that much, some thousands. At least most prom dresses could be worn again for events unlike a wedding dress.

Maybe the DSD fell in love with the dress and mum didn’t want to say no to her after a rubbish year with covid etc.

stabinthedark0 · 06/06/2021 19:39

I spent £29.99 from TK Maxx.
Had the money to spend more but this was what she wanted.

Jolie12345 · 06/06/2021 19:43

That is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a prom dress. Really.

anon666 · 06/06/2021 19:50

Thoughts:

No parental attempt to instill value for money or cut cloth according to means - that must be annoying.

However, now that it's done, try to console yourself with the thought that she will look amazing, and will have a set of photos to last a lifetime of her at her peak wearing a film star dress. There's no point being churlish about it afterwards now the money is gone. 😬

mathanxiety · 06/06/2021 19:50

Crikey, why are you so aggressive about it?

I replied in kind to "Are you American, op? Or is the pointless garbage in the UK now?"

Did you expect something that rude to be met with bland niceness?

Harls1969 · 06/06/2021 19:52

£25 - TK Maxx bargain (7 years ago though). Shoes were from Primark and she did her hair and makeup herself (and looked stunning). Plus she was able to enjoy herself without worrying about damaging an expensive outfit

meemaww · 06/06/2021 19:57

£500 for the dress then about £250 fir the accessories/hair etc. Then there’s the limo……. 😳😳

Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 06/06/2021 19:57

Bit like a wedding dress as they easily cost that much
But these are usually purchased by working adults within their own budget.
My mum kindly offered to buy mine, we discussed budgets etc. I would never have gone and purchased a really expensive dress and then told her after the fact how much it cost and expected her to cough up!

There's no point being churlish about it afterwards now the money is gone
I’m not but our contribution towards it won’t change regardless of her DM’s attitude. It’s now predominantly her money there gone so it’s now her issue to resolved... If she knew what our maximum contribution would be then I guarantee she wouldn’t have allowed her to spend so much.

I feel so sorry for you all. If her mum doesn't work, how does she afford the other half of the £500?
She wasn’t expecting to pay for it, she purchased it and then tried to demand the cash for it back which has spectacular backfired on her. I can only assumed it was purchased on her credit card.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpongebobNoPants · 06/06/2021 19:59

Sorry for the typos! I’ve had 2 glasses of wine 😂😂

OP posts:
UberMullet · 06/06/2021 20:01

It's more than my entire wedding cost.