How much did your 16yo spend on their prom dress?

[SpongebobNoPants]

I have no idea how much these dresses cost but we’ve been asked to pay £500 towards SD’s prom outfit which seems really excessive?
Her dress alone is £500

When DP expressed some surprise (and announce to be honest) at the cost he was told everyone spends that much?
Are we just old and out of the loop or is this excessive?

Eldest spent £45, youngest spent £180, but never got to wear it as her prom was cancelled last year.

@SpongebobNoPants

£500 is not a rare/unusual amount to spend but it doesn't matter what anyone else spends. What matters is your SD's relationship with her dad - especially in this pandemic year when her dad is getting remarried She has a lovely relationship with her dad but it is not based on how he much he spends on her surely? Money doesn’t = love. He gives them whatever he can but we can’t shit money!

Also it’s not remarried, it’s just married. I’ve been in their lives a long time. The wedding is also being predominantly funded by my mum (kindly and generously) so it’s not like we’re sitting on a stack of savings that we won’t share with SD. She also knows this by the way, but perhaps her DM doesn’t but it’s none of her business anyway

Sorry - I wasn't meaning that she didn't have a good relationship. I was backing you rather than disagreeing, even though £500 is 'normal' (DS at Midlands state school said lots of girls are spending that much) it doesn't mean that you should pay it.

I would suggest your DH signs up for school/college newsletter in future, so he can keep up to date without the ex 'filter'.

I would suggest your DH signs up for school/college newsletter in future, so he can keep up to date without the ex 'filter’

We already get all correspondence from the school, but the prom has been organised by a group of parents on a Facebook group which is why we weren’t aware it was going ahead.

Join that FB group. It's a good way to keep a finger on the pulse.

There’s no need now, she’s left school! It was literally just about the prom anyway

My DD bought a prom dress from ChiChi clothing, as did most of her friends. It cost £65 and she’s worn it again to another formal “do”.

£325 for the dress. Hair, shoes etc were extra obviously but i think the whole thing came in at under £500 ,so £500 just for the dress seems excessive to me.

£120 for a beautiful long rose gold dress from Coast. Jewellery sale in Top Shop. Shoes and bag on sale in New Look. When they are young they can carry off glam without having to spend a fortune I think

@SpongebobNoPants

I would like to like to treat SD to her make up personally... not a joint thing, just from me. I was thinking £40? If it’s more than that she can top it up out of her own cash haha!

Lovely thing to do! I get that prom is a big deal to kids, but spending £500 on a prom dress is akin to telling them that money grows on trees. If you've got a spare £500 knocking around, surely it could be put towards something far more useful. At that age you can absolutely get away with spending little and still looking glam!

£85 this year for a dress. £60 on shoes. Heels and ballet.

Did you pay up?
For the trainers? Absolutely not

Good for you! I asked in case DH was susceptible to a bit of emotional blackmail but sounds like you should just continue to decline to pay for anything not previously agreed.

We just had a leavers disco back in the 90s
@Foobydoo that’s all a prom is. It’s parents/kids who overdramatise it!

I can't believe what I'm reading here! When did school "proms" become so expensive? At my leavers' ball in 2008 I didn't know anyone who had their hair/makeup/nails professionally done, and we all just bought our dresses from the standard high street shops. And it's not like it was a casual affair — it was at a hotel, and pretty glitzy — but people weren't spending anything like the amounts I'm seeing in this thread!

I am SO glad I'm old and proms weren't a thing when I was at school
Utter madness lol

£150 For it to be handmade by a dress maker with fittings and extras included.
£500 just feels extortionate to me.

My prom was 12 years ago, my dress was £50 from tk maxx, my hair and nails were £20 each and I paid for them myself. I felt nice on the night and I liked my dress but when everyone else was bragging how much their mums and dads spent in comparison to mine who had just had a holiday abroad for herself for a week but said she couldn't afford more for me I did resent it a bit, I was lucky I had a job. When it's my DD's turn I'll be paying a bit more but still within reason.

DD1 £60 from Very
DD2 £15 off Depop and never worn because of covid. Still in the wardrobe and ill sell them on one day.

We gave DD a budget of £200. She chose a jumpsuit from Phase Eight (probably won't wear it again but I will), shoes & bag. She absolutely does not do dresses & saw jumpsuit in window, I was about to walk past. I had written Phase Eight off as too old for her. First shop we went in. She redressed the balance by going in every shoe shop in the city before buying her shoes. I paid for my friend who's a hairdresser to come to house to do her hair & I did her makeup. She borrowed some of my jewellery.

DD's dress cost £95 from Quiz a week after buying it went on sale for £60, shoes were £35, hair was free as she had a friend doing hairdressing at college & nails were £25 (but she always has nails so that's more of a maintenance thing she pays for herself) she did her own make up.

Not a hope in Hell I'd have shelled out £500 just for a dress!

@SpongebobNoPants

I really don’t mind the cost, we can afford it and she’s had a crappy year with her MH and wasn’t sure she even wanted to go That’s lovely but you can afford it and were happy to, we weren’t consulted at all and really don’t have £500 spare!

We’ve agreed £200 towards it

I think you’re been generous giving £200 seeing as you were not consulted.

SIL is paying around that for nieces dress. I quite frankly think it's ridiculous.

She is also convinced somehow that she will wear it again one day. I mean it's a big dress and bright purple so not sure how that it.

Me and DP are getting married next year. I have said that I am selling my wedding dress after the wedding and am being majorly judged. Apparently the thought of them selling the prom dress is unthinkable and maybe her daughter will wear it one day

This morning we’ve also been sent links to shoes of £140 by her DM saying she wants those, DP replied fine we can get those and for her hair and make up so that’ll come to around the £200 we were going to spend.
She has hid the roof saying we have to pay for those and £200 towards the dress because she can’t afford to buy the dress on her own

No shit Sherlock, neither can we! DP has again said our contribution in total is £200 max, his ex is now sending text after text calling him a selfish father, some nice choice things about me thrown in there too.

Lovely.

Send her links back to www.jjshouse.co.uk/Cheap-Shoes-c84/ - that's where we got DD's from.

@Unexpectedbaby
Even if SD sold her prom dress afterwards and got most oh the money back afterwards there’s not a chance in hell we’d see a penny of it back, it would go straight into lining her DM’s pockets or frittered away by SD.

My DD got a Forever Unique dress from ASOS, it's quite individual and not one of those bead encrusted types. She is not exactly alternative, but likes to look a little different. It cost £80 I think as had been reduced from £200 as nobody was buying going out dresses.