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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband named group chat

83 replies

Mum1503 · 05/06/2021 07:00

So, I’m 8 months pregnant. I could be just thinking too much into this. My husband is going on a small stag with boys from his football team, there is 4 of them including him in his group. Basically a group chat has been made for them, which is normal but he decided to name the group chat ‘shaggers’. He is the only married one, the rest are not in relationships just ‘seeing girls’. Baring in mind my husband is 34 years old as well. AIBU or am I right in thinking wtf? Why would YOU name it that? I’m confused about the whole thing. I just spotted it last night and he’s leaving this morning. Please be honest am I just been silly?

OP posts:
StoneColdBitch · 05/06/2021 07:05

He shags you, presumably?

He may see himself as a "shagger" due to his relationship history up to now.

Do you have other reasons to be concerned? Are there issues in your marriage? Have you not had sex for months due to your pregnancy?

If everything else is fine in the marriage this wouldn't worry me at all - I'd not assume from the chat name that he was planning to be unfaithful.

If there are wider issues in the marriage, then I'd be more concerned.

Buffaloskull · 05/06/2021 07:06

Oh no I wouldnt like that either.
My advice would be to speak to him about it otherwise you'll just worry the whole time hes away.
He'll probably be able to reassure you that he was just being daft.
Wheres the stag do??

longwayoff · 05/06/2021 07:08

Can you rename it Tossers? That might be more suitable.

YouShouldLeave · 05/06/2021 07:09

Is this his usual sense of ”humour”?
If it is, well, you knew what you got yourself into.
(And life of me i don’t understand women who get
involved with men like this.)

If not, can you ask him if he would change it?
See what he says.

But, if this is his usual repertoire then he probably won’t.

FatherPaulStone · 05/06/2021 07:10

Have you any reason not to trust him? To be honest if I saw that with my husband I’d just think it was a stupid name and he was being immature, I wouldn’t think to cheating on me. Maybe you have reason to jump to that?

My husband is in a WhatsApp with his crew entitled ‘record breaking, world famous firefighters’ they are firefighters but they are not record breaking, nor are they world famous… so perhaps the standard of chat names in this house is low anyway.

Sorry you’re feeling like you don’t trust him, especially when you are pregnant, that’s tough for you.

3Britnee · 05/06/2021 07:11

Bet your life they'll end in a strip club getting lapdances.

thepinkstuff · 05/06/2021 07:11

Have a word with him before he goes. Or you will be worried the whole time

BlueTriskel · 05/06/2021 07:14

It sounds like a pathetic attempt to make them sound free-wheeling, sexy and dangerous. Like the class nerds calling themselves the Coolio Gang.

anunexaminedlife · 05/06/2021 07:18

Like the in betweeners with their printed t shirts on their first lads holiday. Lads lads lads.

Jennyfromtheculdesac · 05/06/2021 07:22

You need to lighten up. It’s clearly a joke.

MizMoonshine · 05/06/2021 07:22

My BIL calls people Shagger.
Used in place of geeza/butt.
"Alright Shagger?" As a greeting.

Not in a serious manner.

Prisonbreak · 05/06/2021 07:24

Wouldn’t bother me

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 05/06/2021 07:25

I think it depends on the people to be honest. My husband’s friends have all doubled in weight and are absolutely in no way shaggers any more. If one of them were to call their group chat that, it would absolutely be a joke.

KarmaStar · 05/06/2021 07:26

It's a weak attempt to be seen as all boys together being on the loose,getting lots of women.it's all bravado and not to be taken seriously.
Honestly,just roll your eyes and move on.
You should talk about your feelings if you don't trust him when something like this causes you question his loyalty.
Enjoy the peace and quiet whilst he is away.🌈

orangejuicer · 05/06/2021 07:28

I think it's just men being immature and silly but you know your DH best.

Ps not to detract at all from valid concerns but pregnancy hormones are brutal!

TinyTimsCrutch · 05/06/2021 07:29

Maybe he meant to type staggers

KarmaStar · 05/06/2021 07:29

Ps if the others are just with girls as you say,who is the stag? As you are already married?

HollowTalk · 05/06/2021 07:31

It's pretty obvious what he meant by that. I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

BikeRunSki · 05/06/2021 07:32

Could he have meant “Staggers”?

pe3k · 05/06/2021 07:32

@TinyTimsCrutch

Maybe he meant to type staggers
😂
Peach01 · 05/06/2021 07:34

I can see why it would alarm you but men's group chats are full off regressive, immature boyish nonsense. All bravado and ego thinking they're hilarious. Not how they speak with their wives.

You're right to think wtf, have more respect. Especially with you being pregnant. There was a point in time I would've been worried by this if it were DP but now I'd think who you kidding don't flatter yourself but I'd still not like it and tell him.

He probably thinks he's being cool and naming it that to impress his friends but tell him you find it a cheek. Be firm if you don't want him near strip clubs or girls hanging around him. His single friends can do whatever they please. He wouldn't want it if the shoe was on the other foot.

Rmka · 05/06/2021 07:36

It's probably nothing, bit talk to him.
Also how do you know it's he who named the group that? One of the other guys could have changed the name.

Wetcappuccino · 05/06/2021 08:07

34? He sounds like Jay from The Inbetweeners. I don’t know if you have anything to worry about but he sounds juvenile.

Original poster
Mum1503 · 05/06/2021 08:10

I don’t have any trust issues, I’m just curious as to why he was the one who called it that and also I feel pretty shit with my weight etc being pregnant. After reading what others think it has helped - hence why I came here to ask. He can’t go to strip clubs at the moment but it doesn’t bothers me if he does, he’s been on many a stag and always tells me if he does. Thanks for your help everyone, it was what I needed.

OP posts:
WhatTheFlap · 05/06/2021 08:10

My husband’s group chat with his mates is called side hoes Hmm I wouldn’t worry too much! I’m in plenty of group chats with ridiculous names 😂