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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at this teacher?

72 replies

addictedtotwopenceslots · 04/06/2021 23:18

My daughter (7) has been having a problem with one of her back teeth ever since her and her dads dog collided a couple of weeks ago. Basically the tooth is dead and an abscess has started to form so she was put on amoxicillin for 5 days and has an appointment to get the tooth removed mid June (baby tooth thankfully).

I had been given her ibrufon in morning and at night which has seemed to keep the pain at bay. However I forgot this morning as was rushing.

This evening she said she had mentioned it to the teacher and had said, 'my tooth is really sore and I didn't get my medicine this morning as my mum forgot' and the teacher replied, 'well that's for your mum to sort out, there's nothing i can do (!)' and daughter said she'd said it rather angrily. I asked daughter if she mentioned her tooth to her teacher quite a lot because if that was the case maybe she's getting fed up of hearing about it but daughter said she had not.

I just feel upset that she was in pain and she didn't get an ounce of sympathy from her teacher Sad she had a breath report card and parents evening and her teacher said she was lovely to be around so I'm not sure why she's suddenly snapping at her. I understand my daughter isn't the only one in class but why didn't she send her to the office to get them to give me a call and I could have came with some medicine?

AIBU and overly sensitive?

OP posts:
suspiria777 · 04/06/2021 23:31

I think you're projecting your annoyance at yourself for forgetting to give her medicine onto the teacher, who, yes, shouldn't have snapped or been brusque, but who couldn't actually do anything ABOUT your error.

Original poster
addictedtotwopenceslots · 04/06/2021 23:31

Bump Blush

OP posts:
Advic3Pl3as3 · 04/06/2021 23:35

YABU

Original poster
addictedtotwopenceslots · 04/06/2021 23:36

@Advic3Pl3as3 could you expand please?

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 04/06/2021 23:37

This is a projection. Medicating your DD is your responsibility. YABU.

Original poster
addictedtotwopenceslots · 04/06/2021 23:39

@suspiria777 @Babymamamama you are both probably right. I do feel guilty that she was in pain at school, I should have remembered, lesson learned.

OP posts:
Feelingconfused2020 · 04/06/2021 23:40

I've often had stories of teachers telling off my. Children which when I probe are really just them setting a boundary and my children being a little sensitive. Obviously you weren't there so can't know exactly the tone and phrasing that was used but it may well have been taken more to heart by your dd than the teacher realised. Perhaps she just meant ,"I'm sorry I can't help you I'm not allowed to give you your medicine" or something along those lines. If everything is otherwise fine I would move on and reassure your daughter that it's no big deal.

Could your daughter be upset because she has inferred the teacher is cross with you or something?

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2021 23:41

She said she 'didn't get her medicine this morning' but the teacher wasn't to know it was a dose of antibiotics.

Besides, as long as you gave it to her immediately after school it should be fine.

If your DD was in a lot of obvious pain or in tears I'd expect the teacher to send her to the office but it doesn't sound like she was.

toocold54 · 04/06/2021 23:44

The teacher was right as there was nothing she could have done about her missing her medication. Your DD may have just taken it the wrong way. It sounds like she is very well liked and a well behaved child so I can’t see the teacher purposely being mean to her.

Pinkchocolate · 04/06/2021 23:44

You don’t actually know her tone when she said it, she may have been kindly matter of fact about the fact that she genuinely couldn’t do anything about the medication. You say your daughter hadn’t mentioned the pain so why would the teacher send her to the office? I think you’re being precious.

Rosewood017 · 04/06/2021 23:44

I would continue to casually check in with your daughter about how her teacher is towards her. I had a horrible teacher when I was 7 and I think she contributed towards my anxious personality. I couldn't do anything right with her and it was humiliating. Yet she would give glowing reports on parents evening.

If you are worried then arrange a meeting with the headteacher to talk through your concerns.

LotLessBovver · 05/06/2021 00:03

I understand my daughter isn't the only one in class but why didn't she send her to the office to get them to give me a call and I could have came with some medicine?

If the school is anything like ours, the children might not be allowed to leave their class bubble to go to the office without an adult.

The other issue is when did your daughter speak to the teacher? If the teacher was in the middle of a lesson, doing another task, or has been interrupted several times already by other children then it's not all that surprising that she wasn't particularly happy.

If you haven't done so before, I'd speak to someone at the school (teacher or office staff) to let them know that if your child's tooth is bothering her again, you'd be happy for them to contact you so that you could bring in her medicine. That gives you peace of mind and means that everyone is aware of the situation.

crimsonlake · 05/06/2021 00:07

Poor teachers, always get the brunt of things. Do you have any idea how busy they are in a class of 30 children? This was your responsibility.

LizJamIsFab · 05/06/2021 00:19

Yabu and I think I’d trust the teacher’s judgement as to whether she needed to ring you.

footiemum3 · 05/06/2021 00:24

Children often mention little ailments to a teacher, but the teacher is correct there is nothing she can do if your daughter had continued to mention it I am sure the teacher would have followed it up. As a parent you knew what had happened and what was wrong the teacher wasn’t unaware.

Happymum12345 · 05/06/2021 00:43

Teachers hear so many little problems all day long and I often say, I’ll let mum or dad know when they collect you. If your dd was in a lot of pain, I am sure the teacher would have phoned you.

LunaAndHer3Stars · 05/06/2021 10:00

When my DD needed pain relief I always discussed it with the teacher, told her she was experiencing pain and if it got bad to call me and I'd come and get her. Unless you've discussed the possibility with her the normal response would be to encourage a child to go in with things. Unless the child was obviously in a lot of distress I wouldn't expect any different response.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 05/06/2021 10:05

Obviously it was your responsibility to have given her the medication but at the same time this teacher does sound a bit insensitive. Not the ideal temperament for someone who (presumably) wants to work with children, is it.

iklboo · 05/06/2021 10:11

Obviously it was your responsibility to have given her the medication but at the same time this teacher does sound a bit insensitive. Not the ideal temperament for someone who (presumably) wants to work with children, is it.

It's possible OP's DD took it more sensitively because she was in pain.

Hankunamatata · 05/06/2021 10:14

Teacher didnt do anything wrong.

Rosebel · 05/06/2021 10:21

Well I can see why your daughter was upset and why you'd be a bit annoyed but not a lot the teacher could do.
As has been said the children might not be allowed to go to the office because of Covid restrictions. Although she could have been a bit more sympathetic as your daughter was in pain.

year5teacher · 05/06/2021 10:23

I think YABU to be upset enough about it to post online, and I also think that all you have to go on is your daughter’s interpretation of events. I often say “Aww that’s horrible, I’m sorry but there’s not much I can do about it in school, please let me know if it gets worse!”
In your situation I’d probably have phoned the office and asked them to phone you and see if you wanted to/could bring in medicine for your DD. I have a phone in my classroom, though.
The teacher probably could have been more sympathetic if it happened exactly as your DD says but it seems like a bit of a non event and probably not worth getting wired up about.

Erictheavocado · 05/06/2021 15:24

I am a TA. The week before half term a child came to me and complained of a toothache. Ten minutes before home time. I told them they could go to the office, but there was really nothing we could do about it and since it was almost home time, the parent would already be on their way to collect them. Child was fine with this and went to get ready to go home. The parent complained that we should have 'something' in school to give her child for pain. Poor HT had to spend almost half an hour explaining that we are not allowed to dish out unprescribed medication.
Anyway, back to your DD. As another poster has said, it is possible that the teacher sounded snappy if your DD chose the wrong moment to mention her tooth. Hopefully your DD's toothache will get better soon.

FourEyesGood · 05/06/2021 15:47

YABU. You didn’t hear the tone of the exchange and the teacher was correct in saying that she couldn’t do anything about your daughter’s pain. Please don’t raise this with the teacher or the school.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 05/06/2021 15:50

I totally understand you feeling upset OP but it could easily be that your DD was upset and in pain and misinterpreted the teacher's tone as a result. The teacher is correct she can't do anything about the medicine and I think some teachers do tend to be a bit no nonsense about those kind of things as often the DC will then just get on with their day, where as if they make a fuss it tends to focus more attention on it.

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