To be upset at this teacher?

[addictedtotwopenceslots]

My daughter (7) has been having a problem with one of her back teeth ever since her and her dads dog collided a couple of weeks ago. Basically the tooth is dead and an abscess has started to form so she was put on amoxicillin for 5 days and has an appointment to get the tooth removed mid June (baby tooth thankfully).

I had been given her ibrufon in morning and at night which has seemed to keep the pain at bay. However I forgot this morning as was rushing.

This evening she said she had mentioned it to the teacher and had said, 'my tooth is really sore and I didn't get my medicine this morning as my mum forgot' and the teacher replied, 'well that's for your mum to sort out, there's nothing i can do (!)' and daughter said she'd said it rather angrily. I asked daughter if she mentioned her tooth to her teacher quite a lot because if that was the case maybe she's getting fed up of hearing about it but daughter said she had not.

I just feel upset that she was in pain and she didn't get an ounce of sympathy from her teacher she had a breath report card and parents evening and her teacher said she was lovely to be around so I'm not sure why she's suddenly snapping at her. I understand my daughter isn't the only one in class but why didn't she send her to the office to get them to give me a call and I could have came with some medicine?

AIBU and overly sensitive?

And they have done, for a lot less than toothache.

Yet this petty post is your creation.

As already mentioned, teachers have to use their judgement based on the child, time til hometime, if it was the first mention of a problem and school policy.
Otherwise you’d have dozens of children out of class, lining up with a thousand and one complaints most of which would be displacement activity.

Children exaggerate a lot when they’re told something they don’t want to hear. The teacher could have easily said those words in a neutral or even sympathetic tone. I would take what your daughter said with a pinch of salt and not get so wound up about something that actually might not have even occurred.

@Sumerisicumenin and so that means that the teacher therefore does not need to show a 7 year old an ounce of sympathy?

Well you forgot to give your dd her medicine so don't pass the buck to the teacher, however if you have a grievance with the teacher make an appointment to see her or have a chat online. Not that over sensitive really but all Mn can do is tell you to take it up with the teacher so she can tell you exactly what happened

It's ibuprofen

@Rosewood017

I would continue to casually check in with your daughter about how her teacher is towards her. I had a horrible teacher when I was 7 and I think she contributed towards my anxious personality. I couldn't do anything right with her and it was humiliating. Yet she would give glowing reports on parents evening.

If you are worried then arrange a meeting with the headteacher to talk through your concerns.

Oh, please!

My dd is always talking about whatever scrape or pain she has that day so I can believe PP who says kids are forever telling them about every little thing. Plus you should've taken the pain relief anyway.

You don't know they way the teacher spoke to your dd. As a ta there's been many times I've said to a child I'm sorry there's nothing I can do about that right now you will have to tell mum/dad when you get home. It's your responsibility to give your child her medication, why didn't you go to school with it when you remembered? It's likely the child wouldn't have been able to cross her bubble to go to the office and the teacher wouldn't be able to leave the class to go to the office. In my previous primary school unless the child was obviously in a lot of pain the would have been told they needed to wait until they got home.

@Port1aCastis passing the buck to the teacher would be me expecting her to give my daughter medicine. I didn't expect that - I expected her to show my daughter some sympathy as she's her teacher. It's actually irrelevant whether I'd given her medicine, she was in pain - a little care wouldn't have gone a miss.

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno I don't care

@jmh740

You don't know they way the teacher spoke to your dd. As a ta there's been many times I've said to a child I'm sorry there's nothing I can do about that right now you will have to tell mum/dad when you get home. It's your responsibility to give your child her medication, why didn't you go to school with it when you remembered? It's likely the child wouldn't have been able to cross her bubble to go to the office and the teacher wouldn't be able to leave the class to go to the office. In my previous primary school unless the child was obviously in a lot of pain the would have been told they needed to wait until they got home.

Didn't remember until she mentioned it.

It was your fault your daughter was in pain. Not the teachers.

Just own it. Imagine if every child was sent to the office for them to ring home for medicine because they had a “poorly tooth, toe, head, eye”, especially when the child said mum didn’t give medicine which the teacher probably assumed to mean “not that serious then”.

Get over it and don’t forget to give your child pain relief next time she’s in pain.

Fucking hell, I have stage 4 breast cancer, was having a bad morning and forgot! Give me a bloody break! Why has the thread turned into people attacking me, making me out to be the worlds worst mum as if I'd purposely sent my daughter to school in pain. I even said in my OP I felt shit about it. My question was regarding the way the teacher handled it, not my parenting skills or lack of them according to some.

You asked in your initial post, am I being too sensitive? Well the answer is yes you are. You’re not happy because you are not getting the responses you hoped for.

It’s clear you’re going through a tough time so you know what? Posting on mumsnet aibu probably really isn’t a good idea for you right now. Not everyone agrees on here.

Wishing you all the best 💐.

You asked if you we're being overly sensitive and UR and don't like it because ppl are telling you your are and now you're drip feeding because you didn't get the answer you wanted.

I agree with @Chillychangchoo. AIBU is not the best place for you right now

@modgepodge

I only have 16 in my class and in an average day I’d say I have 5-6 children coming to me with various ailments. Sore throats, headaches, twisted ankles, random pains, a knee injury they did 6 weeks ago but haven’t seen a doctor about. I try to be sympathetic but honestly it’s never ending. 9 times out of 10 they want to go to the office to get an ice pack, which will do no good whatsoever, and we’ve been told not to send them without good reason as the office staff have jobs other than continuously handing out unnecessary ice packs. One girl had a slightly sore throat, for which she had some strepsils. She had had one half an hour ago and told me herself she wasn’t allowed another one for 1-2 hours. She didn’t feel it was bad enough to go home. I honestly have no idea what she wanted me to do or why she told me!!

To be honest though, if a child told me she’d missed medicine, I would try to get the office to call home to see if the parent could come in and administer it, as that is actually a fixable issue. Though, as I said above, some days the stream of medical complaints is never ending and if she was the fifth person to bother me I might be running low on patience I’m afraid.

So much this.

On any given day there's usually a selection of the following:

• "I've hurt my leg." - After sitting down for a couple of minutes, the child forgets which leg was supposed to hurt and is now limping with the opposite one.

• "I've hurt my arm." - They then show me an injury that has long since scabbed over so clearly wasn't done that day after all.

• "I feel sick." - Twenty minutes later they've eaten absolutely everything in their lunchbox.

Then there's the sore arm/leg/hand 'contagion' where once one child says it hurts, at least two of their friends will say that theirs hurts too and could they also get one of the much-coveted ice-packs or a wet paper towel.

You asked if YABU - you were told mostly yes. If you prefer to believe you’re not then why ask?

@AnoDeLosMuertos elaborate if you like I'm confused.

Being too sympathetic to child-reported ailments first time round can sometimes open the floodgates to a string of imaginary illnesses and injuries from half the class!
Depending on the child and how often they reported ailments (and whether those ailments vanished when playtime came), I often used to try a brisk 'Oh dear, let's get on and hopefully it will go away' or 'Have a drunk - I expect that will help'.
But there is literally nothing we can give them in terms of medication, and if a child said their mum had forgotten to give them medicine I would actually assume the parent had decided not to give them any actually but would keep an eye to see how the child went on, and only ring home if they were blatantly in pain.

It's hard work teaching 30+ children. If you give one child sympathy they will then pretty much all try to show you a graze, scab, imaginary ailment, point to somewhere that hurts and start a big monologue about how it happened. It's then much, much harder to teach. I would maybe have sent a TA to contact home if I was aware of the medication before the school day, but if no TA, sometimes it is tricky (partly due to extreme safeguarding measures) to send a child on an errand.
So while it's annoying that she said it in a cross voice, I don't think you can really complain. Hope she feels better soon