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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours and shouting

70 replies

Whatisthis543 · 04/06/2021 22:53

Our next door neighbours are having a blazing row and he is screaming at her and calling her all sorts of horrible things ‘c word, b word etc’

He’s also slamming around the house (terraced) and we’re a bit worried for her and the baby. DP says to keep our noses out of their business, all couples argue etc but I feel quite worried for her. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thornrose · 04/06/2021 22:56

Do they argue like this a lot or is it the first time you've heard it as bad as this.

Raindropumbrella · 04/06/2021 22:58

Yanbu to feel concerned but I wouldn’t get involved at this stage if it’s the first time. Some couples do just resort to that kind of thing unfortunately

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 04/06/2021 23:03

It’s the first time we’ve heard it like this. Obvs being terraces we hear the occasional muffled rows and door slamming but this is the first time we’ve heard screaming and audible swearing and smashing of things

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/06/2021 23:03

I don't see how you can be unreasonable for worrying?

Or are you asking if you should do anything about it?

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 04/06/2021 23:04

Exactly @WorraLiberty, should we do anything or just leave them alone and keep our beaks out?

OP posts:
FuckUcuntychops · 04/06/2021 23:06

I would call 101 and report it they may send a car round to do a welfare check, might put the wind up him to change his behaviour.

Thornrose · 04/06/2021 23:07

Smashing things sounds like it could be getting out of hand. She could need support.

I'd be tempted to call the police. They'll just knock and see if everything is OK.

Police knocked my door once when I was having an awful row with my ex. He was threatening and I didn't feel safe so it was a relief. I assume it was my neighbour.

LakieLady · 04/06/2021 23:18

I'd call the police.

I'd rather call the police, even if it turns out to be a waste of time, than risk not getting help when someone needed it.

If someone had done that for me when my ex started abusing me, it may have stopped things escalating and it may have helped me break away from him years earlier.

Arbadacarba · 04/06/2021 23:21

I'd rather call the police, even if it turns out to be a waste of time, than risk not getting help when someone needed it.

This, x100.

MinnieJackson · 04/06/2021 23:53

Any updates OP? Hope your neighbours ok Sad

Welshmaenad · 04/06/2021 23:55

Police. And 999 not 101. Particularly as there's a baby in the house.

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 05/06/2021 00:01

Called 101 they said they’d connect to the police and send an officer around, and have just seen the police arrive.

OP posts:
aibubaby · 05/06/2021 00:03

In the best case scenario where this is a very out of character one off it'll shock him into realising how horrendous his behaviour is. In worse cases, they've got a record of the call now and hopefully that'd be useful in future.

Well done OP. Hope she's okay.

TopBlogger · 05/06/2021 00:03

Good call OP

nimbuscloud · 05/06/2021 00:04

Good
You did the right thing

Arbadacarba · 05/06/2021 00:08

Well done, OP.

Thank goodness for people like you who don't turn a blind eye. I hope for your neighbour's sake that she's not in danger, but it's no exaggeration to say that intervention in this sort of situation could save a life.

Original poster
Whatisthis543 · 05/06/2021 00:13

Oh god he’s just been taken off in the police van! DP is saying we should just mind our own business Hmm

OP posts:
TopBlogger · 05/06/2021 00:15

Dp should be bloody ashamed of himself then. They don't take people away for shits and giggles

longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter · 05/06/2021 00:16

Have been in this situation before. Family were saying stay out of it. Could hear the yelling, banging, breaking, children crying desperately. Didn't hesitate to call the police and they turned up very fast. All I heard was 'what on earth is going on here as they entered the property'
So glad I ignored everyone else and dialled 999

kittie01 · 05/06/2021 00:19

I’m Glad you called them, I’d have loved someone call them when I was being beaten

Arbadacarba · 05/06/2021 00:22

@Whatisthis543

Oh god he’s just been taken off in the police van! DP is saying we should just mind our own business Hmm
Even if he hadn't been taken off in a police van, even if the police had found them in a totally calm state, you still did the right thing. Your DP is wrong in this instance.
HelpMeh · 05/06/2021 00:22

If you know he's out of the house then I'd go and see if she's alright.

Your partner needs to have a word with himself.

nimbuscloud · 05/06/2021 00:23

Your dp should be ashamed of himself.
What sort of person can listen to someone being abused and be happy to stay out of it. If I were you I’d be taking a long hard look at him and asking myself what sort of man he is.

Gingernaut · 05/06/2021 00:25

Your DP is a dick.

You did the right thing.

Herja · 05/06/2021 00:26

I wished my neighbours had phoned the police for me in the past. I have also phoned them myself hearing a situation that sounded similar. You did the right thing OP.

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