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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours and shouting

70 replies

Whatisthis543 · 04/06/2021 22:53

Our next door neighbours are having a blazing row and he is screaming at her and calling her all sorts of horrible things ‘c word, b word etc’

He’s also slamming around the house (terraced) and we’re a bit worried for her and the baby. DP says to keep our noses out of their business, all couples argue etc but I feel quite worried for her. AIBU?

OP posts:
MellowMelly · 05/06/2021 00:28

Op, you did the right thing. My neighbours could hear what was happening to me one night and that was the night I really needed help but they didn’t call the police because they thought they should stay out of it.

Froglette16 · 05/06/2021 00:29

OP is your neighbour ok? Maybe pop your head in and ask if you can do anything to help. She’s alone with a baby. You don’t need to say anything about your call. Just offer a bit of support?? Say you saw the police and is everything ok.

XenoBitch · 05/06/2021 00:29

You did the right thing, and if the police saw fit to take the man away, then clearly something was going on.

I live in a terrace and the neighbours on one side (single mum and teen son) are always ripping into each other. Lately, the son is shouting and swearing at whoever he is playing on his computer. It is pretty normal for them though. You thought your neighbour situation was odd, and you trusted your gut instinct. I second the suggestions to pop round and check on your neighbour now. I can imagine she is pretty shook up right now.

MiddleClassProblem · 05/06/2021 00:29

@Whatisthis543

Oh god he’s just been taken off in the police van! DP is saying we should just mind our own business Hmm
Wow, that’s incredibly quick for the police to get him in the van. It must be very serious if they made a call to apprehend him in a matter of minutes and get him to comply.

It’s likely she would still have an officer with her still.

BluePeterVag · 05/06/2021 00:35

You’ve done the right thing. The Police encourage people to report. Of course we all want to never be put in a situation where we have to report, just as the victims don’t want to be in the situation either, but we all have to look out for each other.

CricketsBats · 05/06/2021 00:43

Thank you OP! So many women and children die. Your DH needs a head wobble.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/06/2021 00:46

Well done OP. Absolutely the right thing to do.

CricketsBats · 05/06/2021 00:58

Literally hundred of women die a year because someone 'kept their nose out'.

Arbadacarba · 05/06/2021 01:03

@CricketsBats

Literally hundred of women die a year because someone 'kept their nose out'.
Yes. And more may not die but are seriously injured or trapped in a state of terror, because they're afraid to leave and have lost any sense of self-worth or ability to judge what is reasonable behaviour from a partner.
Portla · 05/06/2021 01:16

You've done the right thing OP. The argument was bad enough for him to be either arrested or removed to defuse the situation. Better safe than sorry.

Summerfun54321 · 05/06/2021 01:23

Sounds like you did the right thing if he’s been taken away in a police van.

KangarooSally · 05/06/2021 01:51

Did you pop in to see if she is ok?

SmokeyDevil · 05/06/2021 02:28

He will only have been taken away because she asked them to, he threatened them, or threatened something else in front of them, or another crime like drugs etc. Don't feel bad, he brought it on himself.

Scottishskifun · 05/06/2021 02:35

You did the right thing you don't get arrested for just having a non threatening barmy!

ilovesooty · 05/06/2021 02:42

@Gingernaut

Your DP is a dick.

You did the right thing.

Absolutely.
HerMammy · 05/06/2021 02:46

Better he’s taken away in a police van than she’s taken in an ambulance, or worse.

AlmostSummer21 · 05/06/2021 02:50

Your DP is wrong

Apart from a possible scared at best- in danger of losing her life at worst woman in there, there's also a baby. The baby would have been terrified.

You did the right thing.

If you hear it again,(another time) call again. Women don't always get out as soon as they should and sometimes it takes help from neighbours etc for them to build up the courage.

GammyLeg · 05/06/2021 02:52

I'm glad you called them, it must have been scary for her and the police don't take people away on a whim. I bet they found her in a right state.

You did the right thing.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/06/2021 03:05

You absolutely did the right thing. the police don’t take people away on a whim agreed.

Happyhappyday · 05/06/2021 03:20

You definitely did the right thing. I had a similar situation with my husband, I was on the point of ringing the police when they arrived because someone else had called.

There is a famous case in New York where a woman was attacked, attacker went away for ages (45 mins?) and she was clearly in distress. Dozens of people witnessed it in the apartment building above but thought someone else would do something. No one did and the attacker came back and killed her.

When in doubt ALWAYS call 999.

BlueDucky · 05/06/2021 05:58

Wow! They were quick! I'm Glad they sorted it, don't feel guilty you've done the right thing - as PP said they wouldn't have taken him away for no reason.

Hydrate · 05/06/2021 06:03

I'm sure if the police took him away they had a good reason and it's a good thing that you called.

aquashiv · 05/06/2021 06:18

That's very quick. To take him away so swiftly would have meant they had to. They really don't arrest without reason.

AgentProvocateur · 05/06/2021 06:22

Your DP is wrong, and I’m glad he’s not my neighbour.

strawberrydonuts · 05/06/2021 06:32

You did the right thing