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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I'm not being unreasonable about my lack of excitement?

81 replies

elementofslurpee · 04/06/2021 20:27

Me and hubby upgraded our cars today and they will be ready start of July. Husband got a completely different make and model, fancier car than the one he has just now. Whereas I just chose the same make and model that I have now, only difference being that it's a different model and a 2021 plate. Since then he has been very excited which is fair enough, but he keeps asking if I am and I'm not really - why would I be? It's the same car basically. He's now had a few drinks and is calling me ungrateful and spoiled

AIBU? He's like a dog with a bone tonight, it's quite odd really.

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 05/06/2021 01:23

@NavalGazer

We change cars every 2-3 years (sometimes more often). We used to lease them.

We don’t have kids and we like cars so sue us.

Just got two brand new 21 plates. Both north of 50k. The his time we bought them as we didn’t want the monthly cost.

Suspect we’ll still change them next year when the new shinier models come out

Fucking hell, that's obscene

I mean I know you don't care, but you should

RainingZen · 05/06/2021 04:30

Yeah you don't have to be excited. It is just transport. I'd be feeling awful as I hate spending money, and buy cheaper used cars.

Doesnt DH have any foibles of his own? For instance my DH refuses to be excited about birthdays (his or anyone else's) or Christmas. Which I think is totally unreasonable, but well, live and let live.

Tiggytico · 05/06/2021 08:03

[quote FudgeSundae]@Tiggytico you can just get a car a few years old from a garage that offers a warranty? A hell of a lot cheaper than a new car.[/quote]
When I looked last time, garages only seemed to be offering 3 month warranties and a longer warranty cost £'s, which didn't make financial sense. Will do the sums again next time my lease is up.

NavalGazer · 05/06/2021 08:46

@dreamingbohemian

Why?

wizzywig · 05/06/2021 08:48

Pop out of the house for 10 minutes and say you masturbated in your new car. And it was way better than anything he has ever done

NavalGazer · 05/06/2021 08:49

@dreamingbohemian

By choosing to not have children we’ve done far more for the planet than any environmental measures an individual can do. So changing cars still wouldn’t undo the benefit of not having kids

MiaowMiaow99 · 05/06/2021 08:57

I get it OP. Ive driven the same car type for over 15 years and switch is every 3 years. Last time I even got the same colour.....
It's purely a practical, business transaction for me.

CrimsonImp · 05/06/2021 08:58

When I looked last time, garages only seemed to be offering 3 month warranties and a longer warranty cost £'s

A 2 year old Toyota will still have 3 years manufacturers warranty on it, a Kia still has 5 years.

Pinchoftums · 05/06/2021 09:03

Is leasing expensive? (Our car is about 18 years old so have no idea).

Macncheeseballs · 05/06/2021 09:05

Cars are boring

TailFeatherz · 05/06/2021 09:16

For some ppl a car just gets you from A to B, for others it's something to try and impress ppl with

TheoMeo · 05/06/2021 09:17

It's worth a lot of money - fake the excitement - you're being honest but a bit of white lying wouldn't go a miss.

Dacquoise · 05/06/2021 09:18

I tried the leasing car thing because I thought it would take away the hassle of being responsible for it so I can understand keeping it upgraded to keep it within the manufactures warranty. However you still get stung for any damage to alloys if you have them and bodywork. Mentally you never own the car so upgrading to another of the same model might not feel that exciting. My partner loves cars, alwats buys, more of a vehicle to get me from A to B for me.

However, I decided to buy rather than lease this time because there are some very good deals out there at the moment. Same make and model but switched to an automatic. Like a kid in a sweetshop! So great to drive, love going out in it. Offer to do all the family driving now. Good Times!

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/06/2021 09:18

maybe you should upgrade your husband. I'd find it very difficult to get excited about a car.

MiddlesexGirl · 05/06/2021 09:20

Leasing must be expensive because it seems you are paying for a new car every three years!

Macncheeseballs · 05/06/2021 09:22

Especially for something that is not used most of the time

ImaginaryCat · 05/06/2021 09:27

For the people moaning about the environmental impact of upgrading your car every three years, let me explain how this works... a lot of people like the OP and her DH and fleet car companies buy brand-new, keep for three years and then trade in for a new car.
If you go to a car warehouse you will find hundreds of 3/4-year-old cars. This is because I and millions like me then buy those 3-year-old cars. It's the perfect price range, not too high mileage, I will still get 5 to 10 years of good use. I don't want to buy a brand-new registration, I feel the cost fresh off the forecourt is too high.
If OP didn't lease for 3 yrs, there wouldn't be any decent 2nd hand cars available for the rest of us! The choice would be brand new or old banger.

Anniegetyourgun · 05/06/2021 09:37

Yes, it's not as though the discarded car gets thrown into landfill. It gets sold on. It's not a waste.

Can't understand why (a) OP should feel all that excited about getting a newer but otherwise identical car or (b) her DH should take it as a personal affront that she doesn't. Just because this is AIBU doesn't mean readers are obliged to find the unreasonable angle.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 05/06/2021 09:45

I've never really understood why people do this. What is so good about a 21 plate? It drops in value as soon as you drive away in it. You could buy a second hand car for less money than you pay over 3 years and own it outright.

I've had my car nearly 3 years now. Next to no work on it except brakes, tyres etc. Most reliable car ever. Never failed an MOT, never broken down. It's 11 years old. I anticipate keeping it for at least a few more years.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/06/2021 09:46

People change their phones when their contract term runs out... It's the same with lease cars, but it seems to be a massive taboo. Starting a new lease is often more economical monthly than continuing with the same car. It makes sense.

I’m amazed how few people on the thread grasp this. I don’t even drive, but am still clear on the concept of leased cars.

If OP didn't lease for 3 yrs, there wouldn't be any decent 2nd hand cars available for the rest of us! The choice would be brand new or old banger.

Another thing people crying ‘Just buy second-hand!’ don’t seem to get. All second-hand cars were first-hand once!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/06/2021 09:50

@OneMamaAndHerGirl

I’m team DH too.

Quite frankly you sound miserable and spoilt, I love cars and I’ve been excited over every single one I’ve had! There’s nothing wrong with being excited, stop making it such a negative experience for him

Why does OP not being excited about her car make it a negative experience for her husband? He can be as excited as he likes about his car.

If you bought a new coat because you absolutely loved it, but the friend you were out shopping with bought a cheap, plain one just because her old one was getting tatty, would it somehow ruin the coat for you?

Shoxfordian · 05/06/2021 09:52

If you pay for it yourself then who are you supposed to be grateful to?

Singalongasong · 05/06/2021 10:17

I get that you don't care about cars and don't want the hassle. I think you might be surprised how little effort it takes to own and run a car these days, and how much the monthly savings would add up. We buy cars outright, mentally earmark £200 or whatever pcm until they are "paid off" and it's amazing how quickly that's done and the monthly cost returns to essentially zero. You're not unreasonable for not being excited, but I think it's an unusual choice to continue to pay so much of a premium, year after year, if you don't care about your car.

Dacquoise · 05/06/2021 10:27

Cars get much more hassle the older they get so for some people leasing keeps the car young and relatively hassle free. Horses for courses. The reason I went from lease to buying is my partner loves cars, keeps his immaculate and is keen and pleased to look after mine and my daughters cars so win, win. It would cost me more to use mechanics to do the stuff he does. I also had a bloody nightmare buying my daughters car last year second hand. Had a dodgy MOT AND a useless AA inspection. Repairs paid for by dodgy MOT garage but put me off buying even a relatively new second hand car. Discount on new car offset the drive off forecourt depreciation.

We will be jointly buying an electric car when they become compulsory and partner will have his longed for classic car that will probably rarely see daylight outside the garage.

hedgehogger1 · 05/06/2021 15:54

Some people just like throwing money away. If you're not fussed about cars then get a second hand one and save for a nice holiday instead

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