Panic attacks driving on the motorway - how do I get past this?

[CarPanic]

I've had general anxiety basically forever, including as a child. It's been very bad at times but is just who I am/how my body works. I take anti-anxiety medication every day and have had two rounds of very successful CBT, which means I can live a pretty normal life. I have a good job, great kids, nice husband, friends etc. I've been quite 'well' for years now, though as I said I am on betablockers and I 'manage' situations with CBT strategies/self talk and am often aware of internally defusing triggers etc.

The situations I find hardest to manage are ones where I feel trapped - either because I can't leave without embarrassing myself (e.g. speaking in a meeting, sitting somewhere 'fenced in' by others, being at a dinner party with a small number of people) or because I physically can't leave, e.g. being on a fairground ride or driving on the motorway. The first category, with hard work I can manage. The second category I also work hard to deal with but I bloody CANNOT drive on the motorway. I really need to, as I can't go and visit my mum without my husband driving me. He's very supportive and understands, but I want to be able to do it.

But how can you get past doing something when it's actually really dangerous to be fighting a panic attack or even having a panic attack at 70 miles per hour?! No matter how good I feel I've become at dealing with my anxiety, as soon as I turn onto a road (even a dual carriageway) where there's nowhere to pull over, I absolutely spiral. I hate it and am so annoyed with myself for it but can't seem to stop it. I've tried doing busier roads/one junction on the motorway and it's really scary and frankly dangerous. I've had a driving licence for 12 years and drive every day locally though I don't really enjoy it. People don't understand why this 'trapped/can't pull over' thing scares me as they say 'just drive in a straight line, why would you need to pull over?' and they're right, but the feeling that I can't stop genuinely terrifies me.

Help! Any strategies or any advice would be so welcome. Or maybe people think that this is just my limit and I'll never be able to do it?

Some people just don’t drive on the motorway. But since you want to fix it you could try advance driving courses such as the motorway or try smaller similar roads such as B and A roads then work your way up. Try different distances. Wait until you’re comfortable (as you can be) on that road before you move up to one you’d find more difficult. Also try and find quieter times, Waze is quite good for that.

Would it help to know what services were along that road so that when you set off you know you're only 5miles from being able to get off if you wanted to etc?

I had this! Exactly the same reason. As soon as I saw your title I thought "escitalopram". I've taken it for years. Daren't leave off now tro be honest. But it does the trick.

Is it you driving on the motorway or travelling on a motorway at all? Sounds like you're OK if your husband is driving- so what's the difference in your thinking? I like the suggestion above that you could focus on where the exits or motorway services are as a "way out".

Driving on a motorway is not compulsory.

It's not safe for you, any passengers or other road users to have a panicked driver at 70mph.

Use A roads and save yourself the hassle it just isn't worth it.

I get a bit claustrophobic on motorways too - but only if they’re busy or stand still - and I mostly have no anxiety about other things at all.

For me it’s about needing a wee and not being able to stop anywhere if it’s a 30 mile tailback. And feeling trapped.

I always check Waze before leaving, avoid motorways if there’s an alternative route, wee before I go, don’t drink much water and also recently told myself “so what, if you wet yourself you wet yourself”

That probably doesn’t help much but you’re not alone. I’m not worried about safety as most accidents are urban according to a speed awareness course I went on (was doing 68 and hadn’t noticed variable speed limit)

Sounds like what you actually have is agoraphobia. I have it too. Same symptoms.

Agoraphobia is a fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult or that help wouldn't be available if things go wrong. Many people assume agoraphobia is simply a fear of open spaces, but it's actually a more complex condition.

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/overview/

To add - I have panic disorder with agoraphobia. The two often go together.
And I've been on escitalopram for 18 years. It makes my life manageable.

Find a sympathetic driving instructor with a dual control car. Some specialize in anxious drivers. You will know from your previous CBT, the only way to overcome a fear is to do it, but this way you would have someone who could take over from you.

Have you thought about booking some lessons with a driving instructor who specialises in motorway driving and/or anxiety?

It sounds like you WANT to do it, which is half the battle. Hoping you can find someone who can offer practical help.

Helloo9 I'm so glad to find this I used to drive 3 hours to go to leeds. I drove 6.5 hours to go to london once. Then I started on antidepressants and the name you mention sounds familiar. I took citalopram I think and somehow managed to drive. I actually quit a 40k a year job because I coildnt drive on the motorway. When I came off the antidepressant I was ok. I can drive now but still get whoozy suddenly when panic, which causes a cycle of oh god I'm about to crash. But I do manage very rarely. I can sometimes go to 70mph then suddenly if it is down hill or I notice I'm driving fast I get panicky. I allow slow down and stick to 60. Usually rely on my hisband. I mean I am a monster on other roads lol I dont feel scared and can park in card board box. Jist motorways cause me to be fearful

No one says you have to go speeding at 70+ miles an hour, why don't you sit on the left with the lorries? They only go 50ish

Other than that the only things that come to mind would be learn which services are along the way so you know when you can get off, try and travel at "quieter times" or see if there is an A road running parallel to it (there usually is )

If you tell yourself you can pull off at the next junction or even onto the hard shoulder? Surely it's the same as any other road, you can't just stop when you want moat of the time that you drive?

Hi, I have this too!!! I’m not a big fan of driving at all and used to drive everywhere when younger but I now find the panic on dual carriageways has become too much for me. I have made it worse by forcing myself and telling myself I’m being stupid etc etc then decided to avoid them altogether as it was creating too much stress. It’s the feeling of being trapped and unable to pull over that I hate! It’s a nightmare! I can’t take any SSRI antidepressant. I think it might be more common than we think. I feel stupid but I agree it’s not safe to drive with that level of panic. If I could take ecsitalopram I would do in a heartbeat! Maybe CBT might help?

I have this exact thing too! Terror of not being able to stop, with the panic that rises and makes me feel like I’m involuntary going to slam my foot on the brake. I also find motorways scary as hell for the speed, I’m so conscious of people overtaking cutting up etc and I hate getting onto them even as a passenger. I have general anxiety, don’t take anything and haven’t tried cbt. I drive on normal roads fine - don’t love it but can do it. I hate motorways. And smart ones are horrifying.

Involuntarily!

Oh and I get anxiety muscle cramps too, my toes will spasm or my shin cramp up. All tension related but happened to me once on a motorway in slow moving traffic and I almost had a shunt so that didn’t help!

I think it's quite common.

I found hypnotherapy an absolute Godsend.

I was once on the motorway - a really busy chaotic bit round a city - and the driver had a panic attack. It was terrifying. So, if motorways make you panic, then do not use them.

You are not alone. I hate motorway driving - normally kind and decent people seem to become complete maniacs when behind the wheel on a motorway.

And I used to work in a head injury service - concentrates the mind somewhat.

Have some motorway driving lessons with an instructor who understands what you're feeling - be completely honest with them. It's so helpful to have an expert explain how to be safe and in control on the motorway, it will help

Do not use motorways until this is treated. You could kill someone else's life partner.

You are not alone. I avoid driving on motorways after being raced and tailgate, and also feeling quite panicky on them knowing that there's nowhere to stop or turn off - having to keep going.

Following with interest.

I was a very nervous driver but having a motorway lesson and a few refresher lessons did me the world of good. I like motorway driving now, it's so straightforward. Straight line with optional overtaking!

'when it's actually really dangerous to be fighting a panic attack or even having a panic attack at 70 miles per hour?! No matter how good I feel I've become at dealing with my anxiety, as soon as I turn onto a road (even a dual carriageway) where there's nowhere to pull over, I absolutely spiral.'

You have to accept your limitations I'm afraid particularly where other driver's safety is concerned.

I'm sure there are other routes you could take to visit your dm. If you've been driving 12 years and aren't able to do so safely on motorways then you really have go to find other ways or routes to travel.

Drive on them little and often when it's quiet.

It gets light early in the morning now. Go for a drive at 6:00 am on a Sunday.