Deciding where to live in the UK (causing family drama)

[JobsNDrama]

Hi everyone,I am new to this so please be gentle!I have recently been offered two different job opportunities and I am really struggling to decide which one to take.
Adding to this, my decision is causing heightened tensions at home - I am currently living with family in order to save for a deposit for a mortgage.
The two roles are practically identical in terms of salary (about 25K per annum) and responsibilities.However, they are based in two very different cities in the UK.Job A is based in Wakefield (public sector job in a small team)
Job B is based in Sale near Manchester (again public sector, but slightly larger team)
Both jobs are great, so the decision is purely down to location.I would be immensely grateful if anyone can share their wisdom on this matter!Which city is better in terms of quality of life, affordability and getting on the housing ladder?
My family, however, would like me to take a private sector job near Canary Wharf.The position comes with a small increase in salary, but I doubt this would get me very far in London.We are currently living near Buckinghamshire and they would like me to commute on a daily basis.I am reluctant to take this position (which is upsetting to my family) as the commute would be in excess of 1.5 hours.Finding a place in London would swallow up most of my salary and I find living in London beyond stressful.
However, my family believes London is better for career progression as it is the capital. They view it as a better place for networking opportunities for me.To make matters worse, I have just had to spend an entire weekend with a strange family friend who bragged about her success in London. She is an avid networker and has been able to secure a well-paid position in London.
AIBU to move to the north?

OP,
I think you should go with what works best for you.

Your family may have a view, but that is just it, an opinion.

Do not follow their view.
You are an adult and should pick the job that will give you the greatest satisfaction.

I think when it comes to these types of decisions it is best to do what you most want to do, not what somebody else thinks is right for you.
I don't live in the u.k. so can't advise, I'm afraid, but if you don't want to spend 3 hours commuting or spend most of your salary on rent I think those are very valid reasons not to choose a particular job.

It's nice to have a family that's interested. But they sound over involved. Maybe pushy.

Any of the 3 could work out. It may not be forever. How old are you? How do you want to live?

You have to decide what is most important to you.

Manchester has a good network of public sector authorities with 10 districts and GMCA plus all the statuary bodies that go with so there are good opportunities to network and the progress in the public sector if you keep your eye out.

I have no idea what it is like in Sale or Wakefield. It if you don’t like London don’t accept a job there!

I'm a Londoner here and it isn't the be all and end all. It doesn't sound like your heart is set on the London job anyway.

Personally, I would choose the job I felt happiest about. Which company did you gel with best? Are there any benefits you would particularly like? What training and development opportunities are there?

Whatever decision you make, it doesn't have to be foreve.

Only go to London if it has very concrete opportunities, and quickly. 25k is very little in London, and while there is potential for progression in more sectors in the capital, it's by no means guaranteed. And unless you earn serious money, any extra salary is swallowed up by housing costs.
Sale and Altrincham are quite well to do areas and unusually expensive for the north, very nice though. There are affordable areas around, but you'd need to check about the commute. Will be much shorter distances than London commutes but travel links aren't great so don't assume you can live too far away.
Wakefield I don't know much about tbh, it's likely cheaper than Sale.

OP £25k won’t get you far in London and that length of commute is silly when it’s not necessary. It will leave you tired and fed up.

Definitely move north, especially for public sector. Good job stability and your money will go much further.

Congrats on the job offers!

Public sector is likely to have defined career structure, pension, sick pay etc. There is no way I would commute 3 hours a day.

If I were you (and in the nicest possible way) I'd move as far away from them as possible and make your own way in life.

Property prices up there are staggeringly low compared with where you live now.

Re Canary Wharf.
As well as 3 hrs + commuting time (which, let’s face it, will probably be more cos stuff goes wrong) what is the cost?
Because that could end up taking a sizeable chunk of your salary.
I’d discount CW though on the commuting time alone.

I don’t know Wakefield or Sale well enough. But both are near Leeds and Manchester, which are both cracking cities!

I moved fro the Southeast to Yorkshire and would not want to move back for many reasons. I live in a bustling city (not far from Wakefield) with plenty of career opportunities.

I also work in the public sector and there is certainly the possibility to progress. There are also benefits which counter a smaller annual salary such as job security, pension and sick pay (although these are no way what they were). When times are tough, people in the private sector are very quick to turn on those in the public sector who made this choice. In good times we do not receive bonuses and pay rises in reality, have been non-existsnt under the current government have been in power.

Also when making your decision, remember the commute to London is not only a huge chunk of your time but is very likely to exceed any increase in wage due to being based in London. I cannot speak for Sale and do not know Wakefield that well, but there are certainly great (and affordable) places to live nearby if neither suit you as places to live.

Move out and move on. Assuming you are over 18, you make your own decisions.

Most of the posts on MN from people fed up with the UK come from Londoners.

Just to add- train to London is just over 2 hours. You are not moving to the outer Hebrides.

No way would I do a three hour commute. And £25k will go nowhere in London.
Your family seem to think they can control you. It sounds like moving away would give you a lot of freedom from their 'opinions' too.

I don't know Sale, but Wakefield is a very affordable area, and has easy access to bigger cities and to lovely countryside. It has it's more deprived areas, but also very nice ones too. I'd happily move there from my SE area.

I agree you should take job A or B. It sounds like your family want you to stay at home but that commute sounds tough. If you take job A or B, will you rent for a while or look to buy quickly? Although living at home will save you money, you will need a big deposit to get somewhere within a shortish commute of Canary Wharf. I can't comment on A or B as don't know the areas.

Sale is connected to the rst of Manchester by tram and bus so you wouldn't have to live there. You don't say your age but Manchester is a great place to be young.

If you don't want to work or live in London (for whatever reason but think affordability is a good one) then I would look seriously at what Wakefield and Manchester both offer and which you might prefer. I also wouldn't want to commute an hour and a half each day just to please family for a slight increase is wage that would likely be eaten up by commuting costs anyway.

I'm not a big fan of Manchester tbh (I'm from the north and considered going to uni there) although from what I understand there's been a lot of city centre development over the last few years so plenty of housing to choose from but I imagine the price reflects the newness/quality of the building. Your money will likely go further in Wakefield and you are closer to the countryside if you enjoy outdoors activities.

I'd do what you want to do, your family will get used to you not being so close and you'll make the most of your time when you come back to visit or they visit you. Thank them for housing you and helping you out but explain its time for you to try something new.

We're from the SE, and now live in the East Midlands (but not far from Yorkshire, so fairly north). Wonderful quality of life, and house prices are VERY reasonable, even in the more relatively expensive areas. No brainer for me. And from what you've said OP, it would be quicker to get into London from my nearest train station here than your commute would be from your family home!

I don't know Wakefield unfortunately.
Sale has good transport links and a nice town centre. Rental wise you could probably get a nice one bed apartment for up to £750 pcm.

I imagine you'll have to decide whether you want to move somewhere new, or stay with your family and do the long commute everyday. If you find London stressful that's a key factor.

How long do you have to make the decision? Could you get the train up to Sale and Wakefield to get a feel of the areas?

I've always based my decisions on the fact that I'll be working for so long that if I try something and it doesn't suit me I won't have to do it for my entire career.

To be honest I'd go north to get away from your family.....

London: too expensive.
Wakefield: it's in West Yorkshire, which has done some fairly misongynistic things. Is your public sector role involved in any of these areas?
Sale/Manchester: based on the above, it seems the best of the three.

But definitely make it your decision about what is best for you. Think long-term (career progression, pension).
Do not let family tell you how to live your life.
Good luck!

I love London and love living here. But in your shoes I would go to Manchester. Amazing city. Loads of opportunities. No idea what Wakefield is like so I can’t comment, but Manchester is incredible.

I would also choose a public sector job over a private sector one in the current climate. Better job conditions, less volatile in a recession.

Congratulations on getting so many job offers!

In going against the grain here, but are you sure you want to move away from your family? Is it just you moving on your own?

Why are you discussing this in such detail with your family? You're an adult - your life - your decision. It does sound as if putting some distance between you might be good for you.