Deciding where to live in the UK (causing family drama)

[JobsNDrama]

Hi everyone,I am new to this so please be gentle!I have recently been offered two different job opportunities and I am really struggling to decide which one to take.
Adding to this, my decision is causing heightened tensions at home - I am currently living with family in order to save for a deposit for a mortgage.
The two roles are practically identical in terms of salary (about 25K per annum) and responsibilities.However, they are based in two very different cities in the UK.Job A is based in Wakefield (public sector job in a small team)
Job B is based in Sale near Manchester (again public sector, but slightly larger team)
Both jobs are great, so the decision is purely down to location.I would be immensely grateful if anyone can share their wisdom on this matter!Which city is better in terms of quality of life, affordability and getting on the housing ladder?
My family, however, would like me to take a private sector job near Canary Wharf.The position comes with a small increase in salary, but I doubt this would get me very far in London.We are currently living near Buckinghamshire and they would like me to commute on a daily basis.I am reluctant to take this position (which is upsetting to my family) as the commute would be in excess of 1.5 hours.Finding a place in London would swallow up most of my salary and I find living in London beyond stressful.
However, my family believes London is better for career progression as it is the capital. They view it as a better place for networking opportunities for me.To make matters worse, I have just had to spend an entire weekend with a strange family friend who bragged about her success in London. She is an avid networker and has been able to secure a well-paid position in London.
AIBU to move to the north?

I'd advise you to spend a couple of days looking at these places, and decide which feels right.

I don't know Wakefield but Sale is nice. It is a fairly expensive place too (not as bad as London though!), but on the tramline so you could live somewhere cheaper and commute if you wanted. Manchester is a big city, plenty of opportunities.

Used to live in London, now live in Sale.
The area itself is lovely, plenty of good restaurants, pretty canals. Houses a bit expensive because of good catchment areas for schools but if you don't mind living a bit further out away from the Metrolink and schools you can get a decent 3 bed with garden for 250K. Otherwise lots of pockets of affordable areas from which you can commute. It's quick to go into Manchester for the city buzz but you can enjoy the peace of the suburbs, and various lovely green lungs (like Dunham Massey) on your doorstep.

What kind of job do you do? If you're public sector and planning to stay there + looking to get on the housing ladder moving to London won't bring you any extra value. Yes, there are better career opportunities but unless you earn at least 70K you won't be able to afford more than a small flat. Or face a lifetime of soul destroying commutes.

FWIW housing affordability was the main reason I moved out of London. I'm alone with no family help and with the amount of money I'd spend on rent alone there was no way I'd be able to save enough even in profession with great earning potential. I loved London, the energy, the people, but just existing was very very expensive, let alone actually enjoying the delights of the city...

Also to add - if your family aren't contributing any money then why are you letting them have any say?!?!
Tell them that you will be happy to move to London if they pay your rent for you :D

I moved to Sale 2 years ago and would thoroughly recommend it -its lovely here.

Due to lockdown I've barely met anyone though so was really interested in seeing so many people nearby on this thread. Would anyone be interested in getting in touch? It would be great to chat with people nearby. And you too OP if you pick Sale

I'd go with Sale. You'll be well placed for other jobs in Manchester if and when you move on.

25k also won't get you far in Manchester. But its a cool city. And there will be lots of other jobs there.

Cost of living in wakefield is pretty low. Wakefield westgate is very well connected and you can get to London really quickly. You can also commute by bus/train into leeds which is a fabulous bustling thriving city.

Sale would get my vote. It's a pricey part of Manchester but easy to commute to so you don't necessarily need to live there.
If your family are worried about future job opportunities Manchester probably has more to offer, but then it's each to reach Leeds etc from Wakefield so you'd hardly be stuck.
Are you a city girl or someone who prefers the great outdoors? Really it's down where you feel most comfortable so you should probably be getting on a train!

It totally depends on your priorities.
Of the northern options I’d go for Sale over Wakefield. In that part of South Manchester you’ll find lots of other newcomers and hopefully make friends quite easily. Wakefield will mostly be full of Wakefield people, as nice as they are you might find it harder to make friends there (speaking from experience living in a similar place), that said you will find a more cosmopolitan experience in Leeds which isn’t far. Both are relatively cheap, Wakefield will be cheaper.

Obviously the role in Canary Wharf could possibly lead to bigger and better things in time but it doesn’t sound like it’s what you want to do so that’s that. That commute would be horrid. I lived and worked in London and loved the whole experience but in terms of your ability to save money and actually get yourself set up for life, it’s horrendous! I left because I could never afford to buy there. Or save anything at all! I have friends who are still there twenty years later but they are exceptionally high achievers career wise, or got lucky and married someone rich. They have a good quality of life but have eye wateringly large mortgages. While i’m now in my early 40s and live in a decent house in a northern city and am almost mortgage free.

Go up north I say.

And pps are right that there will be plenty of opportunities to move onto in Manchester in time.

Move where you want. You only live once and the worst that'll happen is you don't like it and you can find a job nearer to home in the future.

I'd go for Manchester, it's a great city!

I think you should stop allowing your family to affect your career decisions. I think we would all like our children to stay close to us when they grow up, I personally would. However I realise they have their own lives to lead and never voice my real thoughts on the subject.

@YesIveChangedMyName would be interested in a meetup .. moved here for work and then pandemic so havent met anyone else

OP, just to balance out the love Manchester posts, Leeds is also an amazing place and 15 mins on the train to Wakefield. I like both cities but made Leeds my home. South Leeds to Wakefield takes no time, some South Leeds post codes are wf. I know plenty of people who live in one or the other and travel for work. Visit both and weigh up your options but also trust your instincts. Which job do you like best and where would you rather live? Whilst more affordable, the north is not full of cheap housing. You will probably find somewhere small with your salary and a biggish deposit but you will need to know your areas so rent first. The market in Leeds has been on fire even before the stamp duty holiday- including the areas not loved by mumsnet!

Wherever is furthest away from wayyy over involved family.

@willstarttomorrow out of interest what do people actually consider ‘cheap’?
A lot of people from the South/London often mean cheap ‘in comparison’ to them. You can afford to rent your own flat in the heart of the city in Manc for £800 pcm. In London/Reading this would get you one room in a 3 bed. Bills excluded as well...
But if we agree that London is inflated I guess Manchester would be the closest ‘real city price’ comparison..?

I used to work in Wakefield. When I went back a couple of years ago I was disappointed at how run down the city centre, especially The Ridings shopping centre, has become.

I think that Manchester probably has more to offer, although Wakefield is within easy reach of Leeds (which I prefer to Manchester).

My parents were appalled when I moved away from London at earliest opportunity and got a job in the middle of nowhere. 10 years later they sold up and followed me. Parents aren’t always right about what is best for you.

I have worked in public sector for a London council for over 10 years When I started we had a great team and used to socialise after work a lot - think of that with a long commute too, would it put you off going out and actually enjoying London? Wouldn't it be just a place to work, I wouldn't want to go back in on the weekend after that commute all week. I enjoyed my time living there in my late twenties/ early thirties but hsve moved out now (wfh pre pandemic) - after a while the busyness just got to me, not to mention the crazy cost. No chance (or want) of buying a home there.
I don't know the other places you've mentioned but it sounds to me like your heart is not in London. Its your life. Make a pro and con list if you need to. Congratulations on the job offers

@JobsNDrama

Personally I found my 1.5hrs each way commute (in London) irritating and exhausting- especially when there were transport problems- and would feel wrung out at the end of each journey. Not a great way to start the working day.

This is your job and YOUR life, OP. You are the adult in your own life. Make your own decisions and own them. 🌹

I’d recommend Sale as once a giant rat, some 30 yrs ago, scurried over my foot in Wakefield; I’ll take that as a sign on your behalf. Delamere Forest is an hour away from Sale on the Manchester/Chester train line. Wakefield is near Yorkshire Sculpture Park. That’s my tuppences worth of knowledge.

Sale is lovely, have inlaws there. And Manchester is great! You could even house-share in central Manchester (more fun, get to make some instant friends) and commute "the wrong way" out to Sale. It's about 5 miles I think, so could be done on a cycle if you are very keen, or there is bus and I think a Metrolink.

So much cheaper than London.

If I had my time over, I'd avoid London completely. I definitely would NOT commute from Bucks to central London. Soul-destroying.

Move, have fun. You can always come back in a few years if it doesnt work out.

Congrats on your new job!

I didn’t listen to my parents when I was offered a job. They didn’t want me to give up the jobs I had at the time. I worked 7 days a week aged 20 in two different jobs. I took the new job and loved every minute of it and did it for fifteen years. It also got me on the property ladder.
As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that the only person holding me back was myself as I was relying on other’s opinions.

I'm not in the UK so can't offer advice on where to live, but I would say that your family need to back off. It is nothing to do with them which job you take, or where you live, so don't be influenced by them if the London job isn't what you want.

Well done on getting the offers, and good luck with whichever you decide to go with.