Deciding where to live in the UK (causing family drama)

[JobsNDrama]

Hi everyone,I am new to this so please be gentle!I have recently been offered two different job opportunities and I am really struggling to decide which one to take.
Adding to this, my decision is causing heightened tensions at home - I am currently living with family in order to save for a deposit for a mortgage.
The two roles are practically identical in terms of salary (about 25K per annum) and responsibilities.However, they are based in two very different cities in the UK.Job A is based in Wakefield (public sector job in a small team)
Job B is based in Sale near Manchester (again public sector, but slightly larger team)
Both jobs are great, so the decision is purely down to location.I would be immensely grateful if anyone can share their wisdom on this matter!Which city is better in terms of quality of life, affordability and getting on the housing ladder?
My family, however, would like me to take a private sector job near Canary Wharf.The position comes with a small increase in salary, but I doubt this would get me very far in London.We are currently living near Buckinghamshire and they would like me to commute on a daily basis.I am reluctant to take this position (which is upsetting to my family) as the commute would be in excess of 1.5 hours.Finding a place in London would swallow up most of my salary and I find living in London beyond stressful.
However, my family believes London is better for career progression as it is the capital. They view it as a better place for networking opportunities for me.To make matters worse, I have just had to spend an entire weekend with a strange family friend who bragged about her success in London. She is an avid networker and has been able to secure a well-paid position in London.
AIBU to move to the north?

Most of my family live in various parts of West Yorkshire quite a few near Wakefield, there are some lovely villages, smaller towns, and the house prices are reasonable, I have friends who live in Manchester and house prices in decent areas are a lot more expensive than Yorkshire, maybe spend a weekend exploring each, looking at house prices and what each area has to offer for your lifestyle. Good luck

Sale is bloody lovely

I know sale quite well & if you are looking to purchase a property you would probably have to look at surrounding areas but I don’t think you would get much for under £150k. I’m not sure about the rental market. Sale has great links to Manchester & you can easily get around as the tram is expanding. The town centre isnt the nicest IMO but there are some nice eating places there and also in Altrincham which is only about 10 mins on the tram. It’s a good, central location.

Does "family" mean your spouse, teen or adult children concerned about their own job prospects?

Don't take the London job if you don't want to! I live in London and won't slag it off 'cos I love it, but it's not a place to try to make your life if you're not sure about it - it can chew you up and spit you out! Wakefield is great and I don't know Sale but I do know Manchester and that is a brilliant city too. Both kind of manageable to move to on your own, especially if you'll be working somewhere with a good social life attached.

I don’t know about specific areas, but choosing a city with affordable housing and good schools was the best financial decision we ever made.

It’s not like you are talking about moving abroad. You will still be close enough for family visits in both directions.

I'm from North Manchester and lived in London for 8 years. Came back because I basically could no longer afford to live there. Most services are cheaper - car service, dentist, haircut, etc. The tram is pretty reliable, and Manchester airport (when not in a pandemic) gets you to loads of places, as does Liverpool and Leeds/Bradford. Wakefield takes you on the M1 home and Manchester does via the M6. I'd move north - your money will go so much further and both Leeds and Manchester are really nice cities to live near or in.

When you say your family, do you mean partner/children or parents? If it's the latter then they need to butt out and give you the space to make your own decision. It's your life, not theirs. London is a great city with a lot of opportunities, but I wouldn't commute in, especially if it's a new role because you won't be able to take full advantage of the networking opportunities as you'll be constantly worrying about getting your train. In terms of living there, it's a great city but can be very depressing if you don't have enough money to enjoy it.

If you're single, I would not accept a job in London that pays less than £30k a year, as I don't think it's possible to have a decent standard of living under that amount if you're there on your own.

I know sale quite well & if you are looking to purchase a property you would probably have to look at surrounding areas but I don’t think you would get much for under £150k

You'd get next to nothing in Sale for under £150k - prices have gone through the roof.

@userxx I agree. It’s bonkers. I wasn’t sure about apartments a bit further along the tram line.

I lived in London for nearly ten years and just got out. It does have more career opportunities but you can always move back once you get more senior and the money is better! I’d say this is more a lifestyle thing - do you want to be in the hub of everything with lots of other young professionals and near your family, or do you appreciate a slightly slower pace of life with access to the countryside etc? Manchester is probably best of both to be honest… near the Peak District but a super fun city. I do agree though you should be aware it can also be quite hard and lonely to move to a new place without any connections, I’ve had friends move to Manchester and really struggle socially, so think about how you’d plan to meet people if your work isn’t sociable. Also agree public sector has definite perks beyond salary including high flexibility eg working 5 day weeks in 4 days etc.

As a Londoner I’d say there no contest BUT only if you can afford London and make it work. Sounds pretty unworkable for you given the commute.
The time of your post suggested to me that your family are rather over involved in your life. Unless you are very young (18 or so) I’d say you’ve listened to your family now listen to your own views. Whatever the decision your family will need to accept it !

I'm in London and love it to bits, but £25K (or a 'small increase' on that) will not go far.

I live in Sale - it's lovely, I really like living here. But it's not cheap: if you were looking to buy you're not getting a house under 200k here or any of the closely surrounding areas

Even the slightly less nice Stretford, a stop away on the tram, you'll be lucky to get anything below 200k - unless you've got a huge deposit or are buying with someone else it's going to be out of reach to buy, unfortunately. I don't know about anywhere slightly further out (if you drive for example), but a lot of South Manc generally is £££ these days.

If you're happy to rent a bit longer (although that's not cheap either, we rent here!) or can afford to buy here I really would recommend it as it's a great area, lovely bars and places to eat, people are nice, and it's really well connected transport wise (close to the M60, good trams to town). Plus the canal and some great parks and the waterpark nearby...

I do agree though you should be aware it can also be quite hard and lonely to move to a new place without any connections, I’ve had friends move to Manchester and really struggle socially.
In the good old days, people did house-shares: immediate friends (hopefully!) and cheaper rent. Don't people do that any more?

I'd pick Sale near Manchester but then we were young in Manchester - uni then went else where then lived there as a young couple - it was great.

I don't know wakefield - but I'd just trips if possible to both so you can see what there are like and some research on rents and transport costs.

London job the 1.5 hour commute - I did one in my 20s each way so 3 hours on trains in SE it got old fast not least as unpaid overtime was expected - so long days and long commute. However I would look at travel costs - obviously if living at home you wouldn't have rent on top but they can be big.

I don't think moving north is a really bad idea - even if it's a move away from family

I live in Wakefield and didn't grow up here. We moved here for my husbands job about 5 years ago. It has positives and negatives. Negatives, there isn't much going on in the city centre compared with Manchester and London. However its a stones throw from Leeds and not too far from Sheffield so plenty of "city life" experiences should you want them. Wakefield is close the point where the m1 and m62 cross so easily commutable to lots of places. Lots of green space. In terms of affordability of houses, we where first time buyers too. We have a 3 bed, 2 sitting room, townhouse semi about 15 mins from city centre for £235k when we bought a few years ago. All in all its a nice place and I'm happy to start raising a family here. I lived in Liverpool and Newcastle for many years in early adulthood and there are some aspects of big city life that I miss!

Your post talks about having two job offers to choose between/jobs A and B, but then you start falling about a third job in London. Job C? Have you been offered this job?

I wouldn’t move to London unless there were two very good salaries to pay the bills! I earn £40k and DH earns much more but we couldn’t afford to live in London.

When you say family want you to take the job in London-who is that? Partner/child or parents? Where do they think you will live? Unless it’s your partner, I don’t see what it’s got to do with them.

Wakefield is a decent place to rent because it’s cheap, you have connections to places like leeds if you want as it’s quite a bigger city - but then the rent would be more.

I loved living in Manchester, I felt it had a lot more going on than Leeds did, but I would never have been able to save for a house as there was always too much going on and I didn’t want to miss out.

As I’ve lived in both feel free to message me if you want advice on areas to live etc.

You don’t sound keen on London!

Did you have an interview over the internet?

I think you need to visit both places before making a decision, especially if you don’t have friends already living there that you can rely on in the short term.

You haven’t said how old you are or what your interests are as work is only for 5 days a week. Wakefield will be cheaper for living costs than Manchester.

Sale is not cheap but it's a decent place to live. The house prices in that area are bumped up by proximity to the Metrolink stations and also within Trafford because of the good schools and state grammar schools. If you go just outside Trafford into somewhere like Chorlton or Didsbury you get a bit more for your money but it's still the more expensive side of Manchester.
Wakefield will no doubt be cheaper for housing but less in the way of "big city" facilities unless you go to Leeds.
It would have to be a damn good job in London for me to take on a 90+ minute commute.
Of the 3 I would take the Sale job.

I’ve lived in Manchester and am about to move to South Yorkshire so have a pretty good understanding of both!

Depending on your age and interests, I’d probably go with Sale. It’s really near Manchester (which is where I’d probably choose to live), which has an amazing culture and so much stuff to do. Really good transport links too.

Wakefield has had a lot invested in it recently but doesn’t have the same vibe. It’s near Leeds which is pretty nice and would also be a nice place to live, but if given the choice I’d always pick manc!

Ps I also lived and commuted in London for many years and it absolutely broke me. I personally wouldn’t recommend it to anyone!

You couldn’t pay me to move to Wakefield

Sale and Wakey are both nice places to live. Personally, I'd opt for Sale cause of all Mcr has to offer... but that's me.

BigPaintinglittlepainting...ever ACTUALLY been to Wakey?