To think £30k is a really nice windfall?

[OrangePowder]

Friend has inherited from his aunt.

She had no children, but was married to a man with one son. Her husband predeceased her but it was always understood that she would make provision for his son in her will. Which she has done.

Friend and his sister, as the closest relatives of the woman were also told that they would inherit. They were expecting 50% of the estate (c. £300k) between them.

In the event aunt has left 50% to the step son (who she raised as her own) and the remaining 50% is split 5 ways, between her nephew, his sister and three others she felt had helped her a lot during her life.

My friend is furious that he was misled and doesn't seem to understand that to have £30k land in your lap is huge. FWIW he has parents in their late 80s who are very well off so can expect a substantial inheritance there too.

I wouldn' t expect to inherit anything from an aunt (or anyone really) so to me £30k would be amazing.

@AnneLovesGilbert

He’s being ridiculous. If he thinks it’s so measly why doesn’t he give it straight to a donkey sanctuary.

^ that!

I think generally if you are more upset about the amount you receive than the person dying then you probably weren’t that close to them anyway and are lucky to get anything.

I will say there are a few exceptions to this like when things are left unevenly between siblings and it just solidifies years of feeling like the least loved child etc but in those cases generally it isn’t really about the money but more about a final sign of love (or not).

But it's completely depends doesn't it...?

If I just assume I'll inherit large proportion of estate, as I see great aunt flora once every 18 months for a cup of tea and had very little to do with her all my life and it turns out divided between 27 great nephews and nueces and I get 50£? That is clearly unreasonable..

If the person was told repeatedly... I'm sharing my estate between you and Fred bloggs... As you've done so much for me... Been poa /at the end of the phone...

And then it turns out you get much less?can see why someone would be disappointed/annoyed as misled.

There is no evidence in OP's post that they were misled.

OP, do you believe they were misled? What is their evidence for this?

It’s a decent amount from someone who could have left him nothing. I was left £15k a few years back by a childless cousin of my dad’s - it was completely unexpected and very gratefully received. The only person who know what my wishes are is one of my executors as I’m childless too.

@OrangePowder

TBF he did do a lot for her in her last years, had power of attorney and was her go to person for any admin help, although I think others gave more practical help around the house etc. She was quite a demanding difficult woman, hard to like.

Would he have done so much for her if he didn't want the inheritance I wonder?

@Mandalay246

30k is nice but depending on where you are in the country or what your life is like currently, doesn't make much of a difference.

To you maybe, many of us would be overjoyed to receive such a sum and it would make a huge difference.

Quite. 30k would be life changing for me at the moment, as I'm sure it would for a lot of us who are struggling. Inheritances can never be assumed and I wouldn't think much of someone who was put out because they wanted a bigger share.

It's understandable to be disappointed, although of course there was no guarantee of getting anything...

It's just one of those things though, if he had expected £1,500 then £30,000 would seem huge but as he expected £150,000 then of course £30,000 is a lot less. But maybe some of the disappointment comes from him somehow feeling less important too as it was split between more people than expected especially if he had been given the impression he and his sibling were going to share 50%.

Thinking about this (have family members who are playing this game) I think the older person does this so that others help them out, do things for them etc. As people get older they become more and more needy. They can say whatever they like. Its not normal to show them the will and once they are gone its too late

Anyone 'dissapointed' with 30k needs to examine their attitude. Bloody hell. I can't imagine sniffing at it. I'm expecting sweet FA from my family!

I can see how, to your friend, it must have felt like a "bait and switch", but his aunt showed her appreciation to five people who had meant a lot to her, as she was perfectly entitled to do. He obviously isn't poor or in need of a house deposit, so it's just the mismatch between expectation and reality that is gnawing at him.

He sounds a bit grabby, as lots of us are deep down, but you can do loads with £30k! I wonder what he was planning to do with £150k if he had inherited as he expected?

"There's many a slip
Twixt the cup and the lip."

I agree that it should have all gone to the step son.

I mean I guess if you had expected £150k and got £30k you could be a bit disapointed but ultimately it's money you've done nothing to earn. Did he have a huge part in his aunt's life including caring responsibilities?

If the aunt raised her step son then it's hardly surprising he was the main beneficiary since it sounds like he was effectively her son.

From what you've said, he made an assumption. He knew that he would inherit something along with his sister. He knew the step son would also inherit. We don't know if she mentioned other beneficiaries to him at all. She may not have specifically said it but was he mislead? I doubt it. She probably just didn't mention it because it didn't occur to her.
30k is a good deal of money and its really bloody stupid to make assumptions about inheritances.

He's being quite grabby and it is a nice windfall.

She didn't have to leave him anything.

@Liverbird77

I agree that it should have all gone to the step son.

The niblings and step child are obviously all well into adulthood, she's perfectly entitled to distribute her share how she wants. He got all of his Dad's share, she split hers between family. As is he right.

I don't think step son inherited on his father's death, it all went to the wife, as it quite usual, especially when it's a fairly modest estate.

I think people often underestimate what inheritances mean.

If you think of it in terms of just the money: if you did a lottery with a total jackpot of 150k and you got enough numbers to win 30k, you'd be delighted, and yes you'd be unreasonable to be disappointed - I can't imagine anyone saying 'well I didn't win the top prize so what was the point?'. Similarly, if her estate ended up being depleted by care fees, and so he got much less, he would be awful to be disappointed as that's just something that happens.

But inheritance is a lot to do with the relationship you have with someone, and what you mean to them. And there are generally accepted 'rules' - so, on the whole, its normal to leave money equally among children. If a parent leaves 10k to your sister and 1k to you, or 100k to your sister and 10k to you, the hurt is probably still the same unless there's a decent reason.

In this case, he was her POA, and helped her out a lot. He understood as such she valued him and his sister as equal to her stepson, that is a close relationship. Instead, he's been demoted to one of her 'top five people she liked.' In addition to probably having a different idea of what to expect financially - you say he's just retired, Im always surprised by how anxious my parents can be about money post retirement despite having a decent sum in the bank and a paid-off mortgage but basically once you're retired you don't usually get 'windfalls' and so he may have had plans he can't necessarily replace.

So...yes, on the surface, he seems grabby. But I think it can be a lot more complicated.

The problem with "expectations" is that they so often fall short of reality. Better to just get £30K instead of nothing.

I can understand being very upset about an inheritence in the case where one sibling got loads more than another or a relation I had spent years caring for gave it all to the neighbour's dog. Not because of the money but because I'd feel unappreciated.

In this case I can't even see why he expected to get sucha significant portion and getting anything sounds like somthing he should be hugely grateful for.

My grandfather promised me and my sisters £50k each when he died 44 years ago. My father was executor and we didn’t receive a penny. Nor the £25k from my grandmother’s will 4 years later.(I looked up their Wills after my father died recently) so even being left an inheritance counts for sod all if the executor chooses not to do so 😡

@bananapumpkin

Nobody has a right to an inheritance and he absolutely should be grateful for the £30k (although we've probably all reacted badly to a disappointment, so give him time to get over the initial shock).

However, £30k is not "huge" in the way that £150k is. It's not enough for a deposit on a house, for example, which could be what someone in that situation was hoping for.

Of course its enough for a deposit... hell its enough to outright by a starter fixer up house/maisonette.

Not everyone lives in ridiculously priced areas, house start from around 15-20k here in the cheaper areas usually for a DIY project and 70-80k is average for a standard family house so 30k is plenty for a deposit and then some.

@YanTanTethera123

My grandfather promised me and my sisters £50k each when he died 44 years ago. My father was executor and we didn’t receive a penny. Nor the £25k from my grandmother’s will 4 years later.(I looked up their Wills after my father died recently) so even being left an inheritance counts for sod all if the executor chooses not to do so 😡

Surely there's legal advice you can take on that?

My aunt, many years ago, engineered a relationship with a wealthy cousin of her father (my grandfather) when the cousin was in her 80s. Spent a couple of years visiting and doing her shopping.

Unfortunately for her she was a bit too vocal about what she planned to do with her assumed inheritance, it got back to the cousin who changed her will and left it to the donkey sanctuary

Not everyone lives in ridiculously priced areas, house start from around 15-20k here in the cheaper areas usually for a DIY project and 70-80k is average for a standard family house so 30k is plenty for a deposit and then some.

People always say this on MN but it's only helpful if you already live in a cheaper area or have a good reason to move there. If all your family and friends and your job are hours away then it's not so easy to just move to a cheap area.

The UK average house price is a lot more than £15k-£80k.