AIBU to tell you all that I got darked on...

[blaisealex]

Last night I was so hot, I couldn't sleep. So, I grabbed a pillow and slept on the grass in the garden. I got darked on and spiders rubbed their willies on me. And so did my washing that I left out.

@EscapeTheCastle

A fox may have looked at you. Observed your slumber and sniffed your toes.

In our garden the foxes would walk all over you and probably try to eat you, then the resident badger will come along and see what's left. In the morning the magpies and seagulls would finish off and there'd be nothing left as evidence of your existence.

Well the darker on and spider willy compromised washing you can burn. Not sure what the (non fatal) options would be for you. As this is MN, Zoflora shower would be indicated . . .

Heck, OP does this mean you've gone over to the Dark Side?

Utterly outrageous! The shame, the horror!

Spider willies ... hope no spider babies in a few weeks

@ChorltonWheelie

So long as you did it quietly OP so you didn’t disturb your neighbours enjoyment of their gardens

Tinkly little laugh

You need to leave mn and go to The Other Side with Them Folks..

Next time, take your oven racks with you!

Slept in the hammock with the mozzie net. Bliss.

Your washing rubbed its willies on you? 🤨

I think the grammar of your post is a bit wonky. 🧐

I slept outside one night on a sun lounger. It was lovely until a strange man came and silently lay down beside me. No idea what he was planning. I slowly reached for my keys then suddenly leapt up without warning and legged it indoors. Don’t know if he pursued me because I didn’t dare pause to look over my shoulder. In all seriousness, please be wary about doing this.

My pearls..... Where are my pearls!?!!

@LuckyWookie

I slept outside one night on a sun lounger. It was lovely until a strange man came and silently lay down beside me. No idea what he was planning. I slowly reached for my keys then suddenly leapt up without warning and legged it indoors. Don’t know if he pursued me because I didn’t dare pause to look over my shoulder. In all seriousness, please be wary about doing this.

In your own back garden?!!

That expression
Are you on glue
I don’t get it? It doesn’t even make sense- surely it should be ‘have you been sniffing glue’. Which if you had been, the high would be too short to post on Aibu. Also nobody has sniffed glue since about 1995
Anyway OP you are an absolute slaters who must never but naice ham again or even think about screaming at the Sistine chapel. You don’t belong here with your darked, dank towels. I bet you use Lenor too

@LuckyWookie. 😳 😮 🤦‍♀️

As long as you didn't bark at the neighbors.

Awww you can tell which MNers are newer here

@Grapewrath

That expression Are you on glue I don’t get it? It doesn’t even make sense- surely it should be ‘have you been sniffing glue’. Which if you had been, the high would be too short to post on Aibu. Also nobody has sniffed glue since about 1995 Anyway OP you are an absolute slaters who must never but naice ham again or even think about screaming at the Sistine chapel. You don’t belong here with your darked, dank towels. I bet you use Lenor too

TBF to PP “Are you on glue?” is perfectly intelligible and is analogous to “Are you on the whisky?” or “Are you on smack?” Everyone understands it.

It makes a hell of a lot more sense than a bunch of grown women wittering on in baby voices about “spider willies” and being “darked on”. (TBF the very first “darked on” thread about the washing line was vaguely funny, but it’s been done to death now, like “naice ham” and screaming in the Sistine.

I blame Penis beaker for the decline myself.

Done to death

NEXT

What is 'darked on'?

I mean you wouldn’t normally ask ‘are you on the whiskey’ or ‘are you on smack’. You’d ask have you been drinking/ taking in the real world. Are you on glue is one of those bizarre things mumsnet seems to find hilarious. Not sure why. It sounds like something my Nan would say.

It’s what happens when things stay in the garden overnight and then people discuss it in baby voices. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Grapewrath

I mean you wouldn’t normally ask ‘are you on the whiskey’ or ‘are you on smack’. You’d ask have you been drinking/ taking in the real world. Are you on glue is one of those bizarre things mumsnet seems to find hilarious. Not sure why. It sounds like something my Nan would say.

No “Spiders rubbed their willies on me” is a bizarre thing that (some) MNers seem to find hilarious.

“Are you on glue?” normally means something more like “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you intoxicated?”