to get annoyed at the divide of the so called "regular mumsnetters"and the "newbies" ???

[3missyshohoho]

Forgive me if this has been a topic of discussion in the past but following on from a recent thread in the for sale section of MN I was wondering what others thought about this.

It makes me so cross on the for sale board saying "will only sell to or prefer to sell to regular MN" I can understand they don't want any funny business as there has been the odd scammer on here ripping people off, but it puts newer members off asking anything in fear that they will get shunned! And even if you haven't just joined - when is it exactly does one become a "regular" MN?

I have come on here daily for approx 7 months now.... Although I haven't posted on all of the talk boards I have certainly posted on a few in the past and often browse topics similar to ones I may be experienceing at the present for advice. I mainly buy off the for sale board and have sold a couple of bits as well.

I feel there is to much cliqiness amongst the "regulars" which puts off some mums from ever posting.

Sarah x

On the rare occasions I've tried to sell something, I've checked to see if people have gone outside of For Sale. Or, when I've been giving something away, I've posted it under "other subjects".

I don't care if I've ever spoke to them or not or anything other than the fact that they use MN as a whole.

There's little point trying to sell odd things though as they get swamped out by the virtual trestle tables.

I think it was this thread was it not???
She didnt say she wanted to only sell to regular MNers , was just hoenst that they would be her preference.
IF I was to be selling something, I would probably want to sell it to someone from my ante-natal thread rather than someone I didnt know, or some I have regularly come into contact with, just because if I am selling stuff quite cheap it is those peopel I would rpefer to 'do a favour for' iyswim.

SoupDragon that's kind of what I was trying to say, using the example of a toddler group. It would be seen as very strange in rl if someone barged right in, shouting and breaking up little groups of friends and complaining loudly that no one likes them and it is all too cliquey! Then when no one answers within a few seconds flounces off into the sunset...

However I have seen (read) behaviour just like this from "newbies" who claim the "oldies" are unreasonable! Some of you lovely "oldies" are on this very thread and give fantastic advice/support.

3missys: "My point is the cliqiness and if someone was to sell something on the for sale board and state - would prefer to sell to a reg - what do I do, ask her permission if I can buy it, am I deemed a regular?"

I guess, just ask if she will sell it to you. It is up to the seller to stipulate the conditions on which she sells. It is not to her advantage to limit the buyers to just "regulars" (however she defines it), not least because it could put people like you off. But she is well within her rights to do so as a matter of principle.

On eBay, sellers can ban certain buyers from bidding on their auctions (I think). Same principle.

It is fine to lurk and not post. But if you want to be a regular (and buy on mn), then, heck, a few posts, here and there won't hurt. It is like eBay - you need to build up a feedback profile. On mn, you get to have fun as well!

I just realised my first post was addressed to tigana, sorry!I meant the op

VS its that one and the one as well

I have posted on other sites other than the for sale boards and often browse the others so I would class myself as a regular user of this site but again, at times, I feel i don't want to butt in to someones thread in fear that they do not recognise my name etc and do not class me as a "regular" as some will only chat to people they know...

On ebay you can set a minimum feedback criteria- no real difference from stipulating regualr, except whereas ebay just won't accept your bid, on MN you can ask

I don't think you have to be a newby to not be considered a regular though iyswim.

Some people join, start posting, and everyone likes them straight away, it's as if they've always been a part of mn, and others join, may post regularly, but their posting style/personality may just be such that they're never really considered to be part of the mn in-crowd. Some just find it harder to fit in than others.

I'm a regular but if I disappeared tomorrow I don't think anyone would notice I'd gone, but then someone like kittylette for instance joined with quite provokative postings and so when she disappeared people noticed.

But the reality is that if you have something to say there will be someone who will want to hear it. You don't have to be in with the regulars for someone to hear what you're saying - there are a lot of lurkers too.

I can't comment on the for sale boards though, but can imagine why people would want to only buy from/sell to regulars, and that is their choice.

Its not someones thread though is it, the whole point of posting on MN (apart froma very small minority- eg meetup threads) is to get posts.
How on earth d'ya think the rest of us got 'known'? And I can assure you we still get ignored from time to time, its a busy fast movng site.

3missys, please don't be offended, but that is your choice and your insecurity, I have never been on a thread yet where anyone has said 'I won't talk to you because I don't know you'.
If your opinion is something they wish to answer they will, that's it really. Yes some people are closer to others because they talk more often and sometimes off the board, but that doesn't mean your opinion is any less valid.

FWIW, I'm surprised no-one has told you that this thread ahs been done to death now, it has, the regular/newbies thread is done about once a fortnight, at least. I suppose the only difference here is that you mentioned the for sale boards.

Ah Peachy, I just had a look at that one two, thanks, hun.

No probs hun XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Peachy

Well as I said i thought this would have been a topic of discussion before... Ladies
I take on board everything you have said and don't want to create any catty feeling amongst us but just think some people should perhaps be a little more open minded and not put some of us in "boxes" - The regs and the newbies.

I think ultimately, on that thread of piffles, regular was just shorthand for 'people of a proveable posting history'- if she had put that, would you mind so much I wonder?

the only thing that does annoy me sometimes is when someone posts something slightly contentious and people are quick to post "ah, first time poster, must be a troll.".

i think there is a tiny minority of posters on here who would go out of their way to ignore or make a new poster feel uncomfortable deliberately. in fact an infinitesimal number of posters would do that.

the for sale boards have been more contentious lately, but why not use this as a reason to dip inot other parts of mumsnet, get to know posters and let them get to know you

should have been more accurate with what I meant on my thread
Sorry had 3 hrs sleep in 3 days, have shitty sore throat and two sick kids

Mn is my R+R LOL

missy - I am a newbie (only been using MN for a couple of months) but I post on every thread that takes my fancy so am probably a regular user but not a "reg" if you see what I mean.

I would just say get involved, I've never experienced anything but friendliness on here but I guess it takes time to build up "friendshops" like it does in any environment. With regard to the For Sale boards I'm sure if you want to buy something and ask the MNetter they will certainly consider it.

that's rest and relaxation not Rock and Roll btw

Ooops not friendshops, friendships, although friendshops may be an altogether easier solutions...

Can you tell I'm at work and shouldn't be on here? Rushed typing!!

"The regs and the newbies."

You've still not grasped the fact that it's not about being a newbie!

The whole newbie/regular thing is generally a figment of a poster's imagination IMO. Most people get a bit paranoid when they have spent too many hours sitting in front of a keyboard on sending messages into cyberspace to relative strangers. Hmm, that's a bit sad isn't it?

DD1 awake now, DD2 just asleep.... lol!

My point wannabe.... the divide.

I think you have answered my question as to how does one become a reg - and yes a provable posting rating is a good start...