To not give baby middle name

[HforHavana]

Currently pregnant with DC1. DPs grandad died late last year and has said he would like his Grandads name to be the middle name if its a boy. This will be the first great grandchild and I feel as though the family are expecting it also, but I really don't want too. I feel a bit of pressure to do it and feel bad saying no to DP as the death is still quite fresh.

For context, my mum died a few years ago and I have already said if we had a girl, I wouldn't give her my mums name as a middle name. I feel like if I am not giving it my actual mums name, then why would I give it a grandparents name as harsh as that sounds.

I know this is all hypothetical as we don't even know the gender yet, but WIBU to say no middle name at all?

@WimpoleHat

I think the best thing about a middle name is that it “future proofs” your choice of name to some extent. Imagine my DD was Alice Louise Wimpole. And then that another Alice Wimpole became a mass murderer/a well known character on a soap opera or whatever. She could switch to be known as Louise Wimpole without any fuss or fandango whatsoever. (I know that you can change your name by deed poll - but I know from having worked with someone who did this that it can raise eyebrows. He had quite a high powered job in finance and was often required to declare “other names formerly used”. Someone quite openly told him they’d thought he’d done it due to fraud. Whereas Alice Wimpole can become Louise Wimpole without requiring any new documentation at all.)

Sorry this isn't true anymore due to background checks and the legislation around them.

I am related to, friends with and work with people who go by a middle name but have to use their full names in the "right" order for work and academic purposes including finance and healthcare.

When you are background checked they request that you give your name(s) in the order as per your passport, national id card and/or driving license, and if you don't have those your birth or adoption certificate. They also
ask to see and then frequently make a copy of ID.

I know people who have used their name in a particular way for decades and have had to use Deed Poll to change it officially.

The only ones of us who have managed not to be forced to do a Deed Poll modified our names in our late teens/early 20s when we were applying for first adult passports a few decades ago as then all other official ID stems from that passport. (That loophole has now closed.)

Sorry this isn't true anymore due to background checks and the legislation around them.

Oh - really? Shows what I know....! I thought you could just switch from being Alice L. Wimpole to bring A. Louise Wimpole (if that makes sense?) So you don’t “lose” any of your name (same passport etc).

YANBU, don't call your baby a name you are not comfortable with