To think it is silly to have a baby shower for n. 2?

[MakkaPakka84]

My local mother's group is throwing a big baby shower for a mum expecting her second child. We have been asked to contribute £10 each, and people are baking cakes, hiring pub marquees, etc.

Now I love a good party, but surely a baby shower is meant to be for someone's first baby (as a "welcome to motherhood")? Happy to contribute to most birthdays and such, but things might start getting expensive if people have a baby shower each time they have a child...

If you're grabby enough to have a baby shower, it doesn't matter if it's the first or twentieth baby.

I think they're silly for baby number one.

Yes that does sound OTT, I think they call them baby sprinkles or something ridiculous. I'd probably not contribute but go along and take her a small gift (or not go at all if you don't want to!). I liked my baby shower (friends wanted to organise one for me) but everything seems to have a present attached to it now - push present for when you give birth (!), 12 month milestone for breastfeeding your baby etc etc. Lunacy.

Not a fan of baby showers full stop to be honest, but definitely not for baby number two.

Any excuse for a celebration, I say!!

Personally I would not have had one for a 2nd child. On the other hand, we've missed out on so much this year, it's a good excuse to get together for cake and socialising with a happy reason! And £10 isn't much (unless it is for you). So I'd contribute and enjoy seeing friends.

If you don't want to go, don't.

You’ve been told to give her cash? Whose idea was that?

I quite like baby showers if they’re low key and don’t involve awful games and too much fuss, and I organised a small surprise one for a friend’s second as she was feeling really low and needed a bit of love and nurturing but it was tea, cake and tiny gifts and about 6 of us at my flat.

That’s a completely different kettle of fish to the ridiculous bonanza you’re describing and I’d decline.

There seems to be a certain type of person who has a baby shower.

A Youtuber and Instagrammer who is currently pregnant with twins, and already has kids so they're not her first, held a baby shower at the weekend. Just seems an excuse to dress up and show off how much money they've got. I don't suppose they need gifts from their baby shower as they get everything for free anyway!

To each their own but I don’t think it’s right to expect your guests to fork out money to attend the bloody party. If you want to host a party for any occasion then that’s on you and you shouldn’t be charging people to attend. Especially when people usually bring a gift for these things.

A Baby shower isn’t something I wanted but I don’t see how it gets all that expensive; £10 is what I’d easily spend on an afternoon with friends having tea and cake etc and less than a lunch out and i’d buy a gift anyway for a friend having a second baby. If I bought a gift for a baby shower I wouldn’t then buy one when baby was born though

I like baby showers and I've been to loads. I had one for my second. A friend offered to throw it for me so I went along with it, But it was in her house and didn't cost the guest anything. Hiring marquees for any kind of baby shower is ridiculous IMO.
I've been to baby showers for 4th children.

Chavy!!

I think that’s why gender reveal parties have become more popular. They feel less grabby and it’s an excuse to celebrate a new baby coming.

Baby showers should attract a large tax bill, and those who propose them have to at all times going out for the following 12 months in a 'MAGA' baseball hat.

We are not the 51st state.

I had a baby shower for my DD1 because my mum and sister organised it as a surprise. I think my mum wanted to do one when I was pregnant with DD2 but covid got in the way. I was relieved not to have to say no thank you.

I had baby showers for number 5 and 6 !

Not with lots of gifts etc but decorations, a little party, food, bbq, a cake and things the other dc loved it and was just something nice to do to celebrate there being a new arrival soon

It's silly to have a baby shower for any baby. Self-indulgent, Americanised crap.

Can’t stand baby showers. And don’t get me started on gender reveal parties!

I should have said: it's not the Mum throwing the party, it's her friend who loves being the "organiser" for all kinds of things (Whatsapp Groups, days out, you name it you have it)

But why the money? Won’t she feel like a charity case?

I think baby showers are nice to celebrate the arrival of any baby, if the mum wants it. Doesn't exactly do any harm to celebrate a baby coming, does it? if you don't want to join in, just don't. Same as any invitation!

People going on about it being chavvy, American or whatever just make themselves sound like utter twats with a side order of xenophobia.

On the chat or aibu board it is a no no . If you go over to the pregnancy boards though lots of women have them often for subsequent children. Each to their own. Some people want a small get together with friends, others prefer a bigger do. I am expecting my 3rd and have never had one. In my culture we celebrate once baby is actually here and in my case I wouldn't want to tempt fate. I also would like to avoid big groups of people due to covid.

If you don't want to go you don't have to!

They make me cringe, especially if they’ve already had a gender (sex) reveal that no one cares about either. I know someone who did both for each child, there were several. She also held it in venues that charged per head so you had to pay to attend and she had a gift registry.

The money is to buy a gift card as a present...

@AnneLovesGilbert

But why the money? Won’t she feel like a charity case?

Also this - I'd be mortified if people were asked to pay towards it. What's wrong with it being in someone's garden without all the hoo-ha of organising something extravagant?!

I hate them full stop