To think it is silly to have a baby shower for n. 2?

[MakkaPakka84]

My local mother's group is throwing a big baby shower for a mum expecting her second child. We have been asked to contribute £10 each, and people are baking cakes, hiring pub marquees, etc.

Now I love a good party, but surely a baby shower is meant to be for someone's first baby (as a "welcome to motherhood")? Happy to contribute to most birthdays and such, but things might start getting expensive if people have a baby shower each time they have a child...

Wouldn't you be buying a gift anyway?

Although on MN I have seen a whole thread about subsequent children not getting gifts because they are not the PFB, so nothing would surprise me.

@WhatsGoingOnHereThen totally agree with you. People get in such a flap judging others on what they choose to do, it’s really ridiculous.

We’ve all had a shitty year, let them celebrate some good news! You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.

You can but plenty of useful, thoughtful gifts for a new baby that cost less than a tenner. A small soft toy or rattle, pack of biscuits for the mum, pack of vests, all very handy and don’t need to be expensive.

Depending on the demographic of this baby group the requirement to pay to attend it might put people off who’d otherwise be happy to go and take a cake or some sandwiches.

I’d be mortified if people had to pay to attend a party for me.

I couldn't get worked up about it tbh. It sounds like a party with a contribution for food/drinks rather than presents?

It's something I wouldn't have wanted, even for my first. However, if I'm invited and I like the person I'll turn up and be as excited for a second baby as I would a first. I will not join in games though.

I think you’re right l, but then someone threw me a shower for dc2 so I’m no one to talk!

Baby showers are an American vulgarity.

@percheron67

Baby showers are an American vulgarity.

Only as reimagined by the British.

It is a tad grabby. I didnt have a baby shower for either of mine, but invited friends round to see the baby when thry were born. Its a bit cringey to expect people to turn up at a venue with presents.

I'd like any excuse for a party tbh. Sounds like it could be fun. You don't have to go.

Hiring a pub marquee, for a baby shower for a second child? Too much.

I really dislike everything about baby showers and gender reveals.

I politely decline any I’m invited to.

So I might not be the best person to judge whether it’s reasonable for someone having one for a second child (absolutely not!!!)

@Hallyup6

It's silly to have a baby shower for any baby. Self-indulgent, Americanised crap.

So is Halloween then, right?

I never had a baby shower I just had a meal out with family.

Mumsnet always seem to call them chavvy or look down their nose on them though.

I think do whatever makes someone happy. No one is telling you, you have to go.

If someone wants to celebrate their baby by having a baby shower who cares. It could be their second but who knows if they had struggles etc to get pregnant.

Just be happy for them you miserable gits.

I can't abide baby showers, hen do, engagement parties etc etc. Make me cringe. I also think they are grabby.

@Liverbird77

I can't abide baby showers, hen do, engagement parties etc etc. Make me cringe. I also think they are grabby.

Me too. Add to the this, christenings where neither of their parents or their families have any religious beliefs.

all those pesky people celebrating joyful and momentous occasions in life!

Don't they know only unrelenting misery and a stuff upper lip is acceptable?

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken agree. One hundred per cent!

@WhatsGoingOnHereThen I am all for people celebrating. What I don't like is when there is an expectation that others have to pay through the nose for nonsense or, in the case of hen dos, also give up huge swathes of time. When I got married, I didn't ask for cash or presents. Some people chose to give us gifts, for which they were sincerely thanked, but nothing was expected.

I hate baby showers, feel they are very grabby for a first child let alone a subsequent one. The couple should be funding everything a baby needs not others.

I'd honestly want the ground to open me up and swallow me if someone organised a baby shower for me.even for my first. I think they are just a bit too american for me but you can always decline the invitation, it's not a summons

Never heard the term baby sprinkle before- awful. I also hate gender reveals, they’re so tacky.
I think a set time to gather friends and share wisdom and time is a lovely thing, actually. I hate huge ones or standing in front of balloon displays and games etc. I went to one where the mil had devised a quiz about the mum to be. God it was hideous!
Anyway, each to their own for a big ‘do’ but honestly after the first one it’s just grabby and attention seeking

I know it's an odd concept on MN as the majority can't believe that something so American could possibly have any etiquette rules attached to it, but there are. First rule is never ever host your own. Second rule is a baby shower is for the first baby only. So for that reason I agree this is a cheeky request.

I think they're silly no matter how many children you have.

The more people who kowtow to this crap by handing over money and enabling it, the more it will proliferate. I'd be declining this invitation. If still asked for money, I'd just pretend/not read the messages.

YANBU

What I don't like is when there is an expectation that others have to pay through the nose for nonsense or, in the case of hen dos, also give up huge swathes of time

Agree with all of this. Don't think I've ever been to a baby shower, engagement party, christening, hen do or anything else that involved all of those. A wedding might involve a night away but that's my own choice.

It's the MN snobbery and disgust at the sheer audacity of people asking others to join a celebration of a happy event that completely mystifies me.

Anyway I rather like some American imports, my DH, for one!