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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do my neighbours insist on sitting in their front garden?

344 replies

vnk21 · 02/06/2021 10:51

I am sure this makes me unreasonable but the incessant noise is giving me the rage.

I WFH, in an upstairs room at the front of the house. Today it's about 26 degrees here so I have the windows open. And all I can here is next door.

There's currently an entire family of them outside (mum, dad, and various kids). The parents have garden chairs out in the front garden and the kids are kicking a ball around - all of them are making a load of noise. Plus every time anyone walks past they have to engage them in conversation.

The houses in this street have small front gardens, Theirs is paved, and the size of 1 large car. Their back garden is at least twice the size. Why would you not sit out there?!

I'm not expecting silence, but the incessant shouting/screaming is so bloody irritating - especially when one of them goes indoors and they carry out a yelled conversation from the house to outside! First thing this morning it was lovely, birdsong and (because it is a relatively busy road) cars going past. But their noise is far more irritating than cars going past.

There's no solution other than closing the windows (and sweating in the heat) is there? Or hoping for rain.

I appreciate it's only a week and the schools will be back next week (so at least I should get some quiet 9-3), but I'm concerned they're going to be like this for the whole 6 weeks holiday which will drive me mad!

OP posts:
Supermum29 · 03/06/2021 20:02

Work at the back of your house? Wear headphones?

expatinspain · 03/06/2021 20:08

Are you in the North? My family and neighbouring families always sat out front growing up. It was like a street party every day lol. When I moved down South, I never saw anyone sitting in their front gardens. People seemed to be more private.

juless77 · 03/06/2021 20:12

Sorry but our neighbour WFH.....has his window open whilst we are sat in the garden enjoying the warm weather and all we can hear is him on his phone or zoom calls all day so annoying so works both ways I guess

LST · 03/06/2021 20:14

I love the mn response of 'can you move' like yeah, everyone can just up stix and leave their home because they have neighbours

Staffy1 · 03/06/2021 20:29

It's a certain type of person that hangs out in the front garden rather than the back. The type who likes to make an exhibition of themself and has no inhibitions.

Mollyboom · 03/06/2021 20:36

Fucking God forbid but some people like to be sociable and talk to their neighbours and people passing by. It was very common in working class communities when I grew up. Honest to fuck I have never seem such weird aversion to neighbours as displayed on mumsnet. For a good analysis of the class distinctions on using front v back gardens read Kate Fox's book "Watching the English".

SueSaid · 03/06/2021 20:44

'Fucking God forbid but some people like to be sociable and talk to their neighbours and people passing by. It was very common in working class communities when I grew up. Honest to fuck I have never seem such weird aversion to neighbours as displayed on mumsnet. '

Oh do calm down. People like to choose who to be sociable with. The op is completely reasonable in not wanting a noise all day.

jdp1970 · 03/06/2021 20:49

I lived next door to a family like that. It was horrendous!
They were very intimidating too.
Always banging, shouting, swearing and very intimidating!!
They were often drunk too.
No one in the street liked them, but no one would complain to them, as they knew there would be repercussions.
I put up with for 4 years, then I had to move!!
Oh they didn't use their back garden, as it was full of junk and dog pooh!!

Dnaltocs · 03/06/2021 20:52

It’s ‘common’ to sit out in the front garden.
Some here may not like this but it’s just common.

LST · 03/06/2021 20:58

@Dnaltocs

It’s ‘common’ to sit out in the front garden. Some here may not like this but it’s just common.
And people who judge things as 'common' in a blatant derogatory way are twats. Some here may not like this but they're just twats.
lakesummer · 03/06/2021 21:06

It’s ‘common’ to sit out in the front garden.
Some here may not like this but it’s just common

It is common in your understanding of your cultural norms. It is not a universal symbol of lower socioeconomic status.

The pictures below are smart, well appointed houses. Having and using a front porch is a sign of a classy house where I live.
Using your front garden with furniture by itself perfectly acceptable.

Talking to neighbors is considered polite and sociable.

There isn't just one way of being.

Why do my neighbours insist on sitting in their front garden?
Why do my neighbours insist on sitting in their front garden?
Pinkfluff76 · 03/06/2021 21:16

Sounds super annoying OP. Don’t either of the parents work??

SueSaid · 03/06/2021 21:22

Hmm @lakesummer that is not quite the type of sitting in the front garden residence shouting/chatting to people that the op was on about Grin

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHaands · 03/06/2021 21:38

@spanielstail

It's a cultural norm in council areas isn't it? Perhaps it's just what they are used to? For the social aspect I assume.
Ha ha ha. This comment in so weighty with classist twattery that I really can only laugh. Get over yourself @spanielstail! Have you never seen Titanic?? The "social aspects" were far better in steerage!
MrsBobDylan · 03/06/2021 22:02

Does it matter if sitting in my front garden makes me common though? I live in an area where there is a fair bit of poverty.

In urban areas people may have back gardens which don't function well as a place to hang out. In that instance, it is sensible to use the nicer space.

OP is working. Family life is clashing with office life. She needs to work out how to sound proof her new working environment I guess.

Mere1 · 03/06/2021 22:05

Wear noise cancelling headphones.

NickD87 · 03/06/2021 22:23

We often move into the front when the sun isn’t in the back anymore. We’re a pretty friendly and close street though and others do it. It just turns into lots of chatting and gathering etc. It’s a nice community feel!

BraveBraveMouse · 03/06/2021 23:00

That sounds super annoying OP and really inconsiderate. One of the worst things for me about lockdown was being stuck at the house with asshole neighbours like yours.

strangeshapedpotato · 03/06/2021 23:16

I say this as someone with an extremely low tolerance for noise, and I dread school holidays when the local kids make so much noise at the back that I have to close the windows.... but you're being totally unreasonable OP.

Your neighbours are perfectly entitled to enjoy either of their gardens - if the noise bothers you then I'd suggest ear plugs so you can open the windows. Or close the windows and buy a fan.

If they had a loud stereo going, that's a different kettle of fish. Also if it's going on late at night, i.e. post 11pm. But sitting out chatting on a sunny day???

Matilda190 · 03/06/2021 23:20

It’s their garden and it’s not their problem that you work from home. Maybe ask if they can be a little quieter though I doubt that will happen.

strangeshapedpotato · 03/06/2021 23:20

@strangeshapedpotato

I say this as someone with an extremely low tolerance for noise, and I dread school holidays when the local kids make so much noise at the back that I have to close the windows.... but you're being totally unreasonable OP.

Your neighbours are perfectly entitled to enjoy either of their gardens - if the noise bothers you then I'd suggest ear plugs so you can open the windows. Or close the windows and buy a fan.

If they had a loud stereo going, that's a different kettle of fish. Also if it's going on late at night, i.e. post 11pm. But sitting out chatting on a sunny day???

Oh and as I can sympathise with the problem at least - I can also share something with you. You probably reject solutions to deal with the noise such as ear plugs because you feel you shouldn't have to deal.... As a result, you essentially self-martyr and turn a slight inconvenience into a monstrous affront. Unwanted noise is stressful. Don't let yourself get stressed - put the ear plugs in!
Localocal · 03/06/2021 23:26

I assume the children are kicking a ball in the street and the adults are sitting looking after them? If it's a quiet street and their back garden is the size of two small cars then this makes perfect sense to me. I'm sure it's distracting and annoying when you are trying to work, but I don't think they are BU. Can you move your workspace?

Original poster
vnk21 · 03/06/2021 23:41

Earplugs wouldn't work for me, I have calls throughout the day and can't be constantly looking at my phones to see if they're ringing. It's why I've gone for the windows closed/ fan option for now. I will consider headphones if need be, paired to my main phone if I need to open windows and it's still noisy outside.

Oh and it's not a quiet road. It's not a main road as such but it is a bus route and relatively busy with cars passing up and down all day long.

OP posts:
LouKelly · 04/06/2021 00:18

How very dare they be happy together ? !

lakesummer · 04/06/2021 00:19

Over the summer at least you might be happier renting a workspace somewhere?
I actually think it is pretty poor of companies to just dump permanent home working on people.