Why do my neighbours insist on sitting in their front garden?

[vnk21]

I am sure this makes me unreasonable but the incessant noise is giving me the rage.

I WFH, in an upstairs room at the front of the house. Today it's about 26 degrees here so I have the windows open. And all I can here is next door.

There's currently an entire family of them outside (mum, dad, and various kids). The parents have garden chairs out in the front garden and the kids are kicking a ball around - all of them are making a load of noise. Plus every time anyone walks past they have to engage them in conversation.

The houses in this street have small front gardens, Theirs is paved, and the size of 1 large car. Their back garden is at least twice the size. Why would you not sit out there?!

I'm not expecting silence, but the incessant shouting/screaming is so bloody irritating - especially when one of them goes indoors and they carry out a yelled conversation from the house to outside! First thing this morning it was lovely, birdsong and (because it is a relatively busy road) cars going past. But their noise is far more irritating than cars going past.

There's no solution other than closing the windows (and sweating in the heat) is there? Or hoping for rain.

I appreciate it's only a week and the schools will be back next week (so at least I should get some quiet 9-3), but I'm concerned they're going to be like this for the whole 6 weeks holiday which will drive me mad!

I sit on my front step when it’s sunny as it’s the only place that gets the sun. Sometimes I’ll phone my mum. Assume the neighbours can hear me talking. Anything wrong with that?

How is it "living in the street"?! In my case, my front garden doesn't even open up to the street.

It just seems really strange to rule that front gardens are for bins and cars, or to keep pretty but never use. I'd have real trouble putting a car in mine or bins as simply not practical .

So I'm left with the keep pretty and never use option, which seems a lot of work for no reward.

Funny what people will look down their noses at.

@user1471538283

The problem is the OP is working! I bet her neighbors wouldn't like the noise if they were working! Children playing and running around isn't an issue it's the volume!

I would shout out of the window that you are working and for them to be quieter OP!

I don't buy the excuse that it's because we only have a few nice days etc. We all have to share the space and their wants do not trump yours

But the OP is working in a residential area, so should expect normal "residential" noise - children playing, lawns being mowed, delivery vans pulling up with their engines left running and music being played, dogs barking etc.

Anyone who wants a quiet space to work should rent an office space.

I wfh too, btw. The skateboarders going up and down the street get on my tits, but they have every right to be skateboarding, so I suck it up. I've acclimatised to the rest of the noise.

What a weird post

@Sceptre86

I had a similar view point to you until I realised that by time I come home from work my front garden gets more sun than the back. I still wouldn't go on the sun lounger in my front garden purely because I value my privacy but I understand why others on our estate do. Unless you can afford to live in the middle of nowhere some noise is to be expected.

I wouldn't go on the sun lounger in the front garden because passers by might mistake me for a beached whale.

If I was still a perfect size 12, I'd seriously consider it if it was sunnier in the front.

It’s common to sit and parade yourself, to slob about in public. It’s especially common to call out to people and force interaction upon them as they walk past. This also goes for hollering at people out of the window.
It’s just bad manners to sit and stare at people as they go so it their lives.
Life must be very restrictive and exhausting full of irritation if you're naturally judgemental all those rules and point deductions on a person's character based on their choices.
It must be tiresome.

It’s common to sit and parade yourself, to slob about in public. It’s especially common to call out to people and force interaction upon them as they walk past. This also goes for hollering at people out of the window.
It’s just bad manners to sit and stare at people as they go so it their lives.

I should imagine a significant amount of staring has gone on in order to compile such a detailed list of what's 'common'

Life must be very restrictive and exhausting full of irritation if you're naturally judgemental all those rules and point deductions on a person's character based on their choices.
It must be tiresome.

It’s not “rules” though. It’s about making other people’s lives easier and treating people how you would likely be treated.
Op hasn’t gone out effing and hefting and being unpleasant. She’s having a moan on here. Nothing wrong with that.

I think if the rest of the street isn’t out the front being loud, then it’s not great for you to be doing it. If everyone does it then great, crack on.

@Thewinterofdiscontent my restrictive comment was to the poster with the list of common things one must not do.

[quote EmeraldShamrock]@Thewinterofdiscontent my restrictive comment was to the poster with the list of common things one must not do.[/quote]
One is entitled to do anything from that list, but one must be prepared to be considered common by others.

Surely it's a win if they always use the front? You can then move safely to the back room and know they won't follow. Run your internet cable longer, move all the screens, job done.

So many Hyacinths. Are there enough Buckets?

Moving to the back of the house would be fine if I had another empty bedroom to accommodate all the kit (I don't).

Plus the parents seem to have gone in now, the kids are now banging about in the back garden. Using the front seems to be only when the parents want to sit outside. So if I had moved earlier, I'd be having to move back again now anyway!

At least I can now open the front windows again.

It could be that they are an established family with connections all around. Sitting outside could allow them to not only keep an eye on their children but , also meet/greet/pass the time of day with their neighbours/ family/friends.

If they had a "friend drop off some shopping yesterday" , they could be isolating still and in need of additional interaction, outside of the family? Sitting out front gives them that.

I appreciate it is frustrating for you OP but that is also their home. Sch holidays are when children can let off steam. You live where you live and you just have to put up with it and accommodate , as best you can, until you move.

As an aside , i moved my children and i 9 yrs ago to a large detached , not near neighbours , semi rural, village property for exactly this reason. However, my DC's and I find the silence deafening. We have lots of peace but no community. We cannot now wait to move back to people/noise and community.

You live where you live so you just have to work around it, if it does not suit you, you need to be patient until such a time you can get to to where you think you will be happier. Your neighbours could be out front for many reasons. They have children being children . I shout to my youngest DC for drinks and dinner etc when they are the other side of the house/grounds. Always have , even when we lived cheek by jowl with neighbours. I defy any parent to say they have not done this. Saves going upstairs or walking around outside in the garden for the millionth time

You said " It's not council but it rather fits that stereotype". You are portraying your neighbours as slightly crass in their behaviours. I still shout out to my youngest ,no one really hears as i have no immediate neighbours, they may slightly. I hear other mums in the village if the wind blows. Equally i occasionally hear their mowers /jet-wash/ power tools. I sit outside my front , with a coffee , while my youngest scooters around , in the hope to pass the time of day with locals walking or on their way to the local store, really just to talk to someone. I am not really any different to your neighbours. I guess if they were richer and their house larger , detached and few hundred feet away on all sides from yours , their family noise would be less grating?

Have you considered going back into work?

why should people be kicked out of their own home by nuisance neighbours?

I've lived here about twice as long as they have, not sure how they know the people they speak to (possibly school/church related) but I don't ever see any of our immediate neighbours speaking to them. It feels like they are just desperate to be seen.

It was me who had shopping dropped off, not them.

I grew up on a council estate myself, so witnessed some of the stereotypical behaviours people associate with such estates first hand - kids behaving as they please, families with a blatant disregard for anyone around them/ any authority, causing a noise nuisance. Such families were very much in the minority, but it's what people tend to think of as being typical of council tenants, and it's a lot of the behaviours I see demonstrated in my neighbours.

It's not really a money issue, we live in the London suburbs, houses in our street are worth 400-600k. The family are just quite inconsiderate and not very nice people; if they lived in a bigger or more isolated house, they'd still be the same, but the impact on me and the rest of the street would be slightly less.

"Moving to the back of the house would be fine if I had another empty bedroom to accommodate all the kit (I don't)".

You need a bigger house OP and away from other people, your neighbours and their children. If you cannot afford that, may i suggest you just make the best of what you have and stop moaning.

Or, find solutions to your current problem. A sound proof separate office space/small self contained unit at the end of your garden may resolve your issue.

@MolyHolyGuacamole I don't have a workplace to return to; our office has closed permanently, we all work fully from home now.

@Snoken I feel the same way...also Brits have an expectation of quiet that I've not encountered in any of the countries I've lived in. Things like children playing, people talking and having a drink outside, traffic etc are considered normal background sounds that no one even notices, but in Britain it's seen as "noise".

OP try the White Noise free app, either with or without headphones.

I find it very hard to drown out conversations - esp if I have to write for work - and this helps. Ideally with headphones but even as background it can help you refocus.

(and I agree that your neighbours sound inconsiderate. In close London quarters you need to be aware of how you affect others. It's not about class, it's about basic good manners)

We had a shared garden years ago and I worked in the dining room so could hear the children playing and it didnt bother me. It is not about the children playing. It is about the shouting and the constant attention seeking behaviour.

One is entitled to do anything from that list, but one must be prepared to be considered common by others. I don't do any of those particular things bar speaking to passing neighbours however I am what you'd describe as common living in a wc area with a menial job, old fridge in the garden.
Luckily this one doesn't care much for how others perceive her, if they'd like to contribute to my life in some way through friendship or financially then one may give a hoot.
Totally joking about the old fridge my front garden has a colourful bench and a DC tent ATT I'm disgraceful.

A little update...they finished 'playing' in the back garden (for which read loudly shouting and screaming) about 20 mins ago. Just in case anyone thought they were quiet in the evenings!

(I'll now wait to be told that kids aged 5-12 shrieking outside til 10pm is entirely reasonable in summer 🤣)

I so feel for you - I can’t explain why I think it’s so odd to hang out in the front garden, I’ve just very rarely ever seen people do it so it doesn’t feel like a ‘typical’ thing to do.

Based on a thread I posted earlier today though, apparently children being allowed to make noise is the most important thing in the world, how dare anyone expect that their parents show the slightest bit of respect for people who may be working or sleeping