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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not let my dd9 watch 12 films

84 replies

gobletsofmadness · 02/06/2021 09:36

Apparently I'm the only mum in her class who wont let DD9 (nearly 10) watch 12s. They are all also watching programmes like His Dark Materials (which I thought was a bit scary!) Am I alone in this? Do you let your 9/10 year olds watch 12s?

For context DD has active imagination and used to get terrified of lots of PG films/have nightmares etc. To be fair she is much better now than she was, so am happy to be told this is clouding my judgement and I am BU.

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 02/06/2021 09:43

It depends on the film tbh. Yes I probably would (and did) let my kids watch films with a rating above their age

Foobydoo · 02/06/2021 09:43

I usually either watch first myself to judge or read the parents guide on the film as it really does depend.
For example I let dd age 9 watch mean girls as she was having friendship issues and I thought it would be good for her to have insight into girl friendship dynamics.
She doesn't really ask to watch anything scary though.
I know some of her friends have watched pennywise which is a massive no way from me! The majority of the parents are sensible though.
It seems to be more unsuitable video games that parents are lax about round here.

Riddo · 02/06/2021 09:55

I didn't let DD watch films until she was the age of the certification. She had nightmares frequently after watching anything slightly scary or disturbing.

You know your child best. Don't be swayed by "everyone else is allowed to..." because it's almost certainly not accurate!

AlmostSummer21 · 02/06/2021 09:59

Depends on the film & the child.

hauntedvagina · 02/06/2021 10:01

Several of the Harry Potter films are 12a and I've let a 7 year old watch them.

I suppose it's much about the content of the film. Would I let a 9 year old watch a 12 with sex scenes? No. Swearing that they know they're not allowed to repeat? Yes. Unnecessary violence? No. Challenging topics like death? Yes, but with a pre warning of what's to come.

I wouldn't let a younger child watch a 12 I hadn't watched myself.

Halliabaloo · 02/06/2021 10:03

Need to judge on a film by film basis.

Oh the bloody video games!

This a public service announcement!
If you are saying yes to roblox and fortnite below the recommended age you will have a much harder time saying no to COD and GTA for younger teens.

ineedaholidaynow · 02/06/2021 10:04

Under 12s are allowed to watch 12 rated films though aren’t they. At the cinema they have to be accompanied by an adult.

DS used to get scared/upset by films so took longer than most of his peers to watch 12 rated films and equivalent tv programmes, but was watching some before he was 12.

Maybe use the website Common Sense media to check the content and build up gently.

Sirzy · 02/06/2021 10:06

I use the website common sense media to help make decisions on a case by case basis

sunnysidegold · 02/06/2021 10:06

I use the common sense media guide if I have t seen the film myself as it is quite reliable about the themes and content.

As others have said it depends on the film. My ten year old has seen a lot of the Marvel and star wars films with his dad and a lot of those are 12 rated.

Smartiepants79 · 02/06/2021 10:10

Watch the films and decide for yourself. Also you know your child best so base it on that.
Some will be fine, others not.
My 9 year watches some 12s depends what it is.

TenThousandSpoons · 02/06/2021 10:14

12A films mean under 12s are allowed to watch with an adult. My 9 year old has watched quite a few 12s (Harry Potter, Jurassic World, all the Marvel films etc) and he is able to cope fine with the scarier parts and enjoys them. My 12 year old had only started watching 12s this year as she used to get very scared of things she’d seen in some PG films. Another vote for Common Sense Media website which is excellent for telling you what to be aware of in different films so you can judge whether your child is ready to watch.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 02/06/2021 10:14

Ds 7 is allowed to watch 12 films if we know the content.If it's a new film then we'd look it up first.

shivawn · 02/06/2021 10:15

I always watched films rated above my age as a child. No big deal at all. Would have been a bit embarrassing if I was the only one of my friends not allowed to watch a movie.

wibdib · 02/06/2021 10:19

I’ve tried to stick to the rating - but haven’t found it a problem as the dc aren’t bothered by seeing ‘older’ films. In fact ds2 is old enough now to watch 12 films and he sometimes will say that he thinks he will wait a year or two more as he still doesn’t feel like the film!

The only problems I had were thanks to their primary school - one was a book they were reading in school (something like the spider chronicles, can’t remember exactly) that came on tv early one evening so I turned over to it, thinking it would help. Film it turned out was a 12 or even higher - we stopped watching and also had discussions with school as ds1 then had problems with the book.
They also sent a note home to say they were using a (long) clip of the Harry Potter prequel that was a 12 to do creative writing with but that the clip was very mild, just good for having some things to make them write descriptively. Witch was fine but then meant lots of kids in school wanted to see the rest of the film. Did beg the question about why they couldn’t have found a similar clipbon an age appropriate film.

Bagelsandbrie · 02/06/2021 10:19

Depends on your child and the film. There’s no point letting a child watch a film if they’re going to have nightmares and not sleep for a week!

My ds is 9 and has watched all sorts of stuff other people wouldn’t let their children watch, but he’s not scared or bothered by anything really. In fact he loves scary / horror type stuff! (My eldest is now 18 and was exactly the same). I don’t let him watch stuff I haven’t seen before if I’m not sure and I draw the line at anything sexual or frequent bad language.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 02/06/2021 10:22

YANBU. Your DD sounds like mine at that age and I was comfortable saying no at the time. By the time my DD was 14 she was fine with a 15 rated film. Mine just had an over active imagination and used to dwell on things so just needed to mature a bit to handle more grown up topics.

In my opinion film ratings are there for a reason and you know your own child. Also I would never let another child watch a film above their age without their parents permission.

Flowers500 · 02/06/2021 10:26

It depends on the child I suppose, but Christ I would have had a miserable time at school if I hadn’t been able to see the same movies as my friends, or understand basic pop culture references.

clary · 02/06/2021 10:34

There is no such thing as a 12 film in the cinema - it's 12A which means an adult has to be with the child but any age can watch it. You are supposed to judge.

So for example DS2 watched Avatar (12A) at the movies aged about 6-7 - it was a bit long and sometimes violent but OK I felt. OTOH I watched Les Mis 12A with DD when she was about 10-11 and thought it was quite strong tbh. She didn't mind tho.

12A at the cinema usually translates to 12 on video - I suppose the thought is that there may not be an adult with the child all the time. I think it's fine for a 9yo to watch 12 videos tbh, but if you are really concerned maybe watch it first?

OrangeRug · 02/06/2021 10:41

I would personally let her. I can imagine it being a bit shit when all your friends have seen a film and you haven't.

ConstanceGracy · 02/06/2021 11:00

12A is the new PG, don’t think PG exists in a cinema setting anymore .
You’re not unreasonable if you think she’ll be scared and I know my dd won’t be so she’s watched 12A films for a while.

cariadlet · 02/06/2021 11:08

My dd is much older now but I always used to take it on a case by case basis and make sure that I'd seen the film myself first.

She was imaginative and sensitive when it came to tv and films (when she was very young we had to walk out of the cinema halfway through Ratatouille because she couldn't cope with the tension!) so I didn't show her older rated films if I thought they would be too scary for her.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/06/2021 11:09

It depends on the film and the child.

I was going to mention HP - my ds is 7 and has seen some of those which are 12.

dementedpixie · 02/06/2021 11:09

PG does still exist - I just checked my local cinema listings

ichundich · 02/06/2021 11:29

@Flowers500

It depends on the child I suppose, but Christ I would have had a miserable time at school if I hadn’t been able to see the same movies as my friends, or understand basic pop culture references.

It's this sort of attitude that creates unnecessary pressure on parents who just want their kids to be kids. There never has been a bigger choice of age appropriate films and programmes than there is today, so why the rush to watch things before kids are old enough and ready?

NewPapaGuinea · 02/06/2021 11:30

Depends on the film and child. My DS is 4 and his favourite film is Jurassic World which is a 12A.

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