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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let my dd9 watch 12 films

84 replies

gobletsofmadness · 02/06/2021 09:36

Apparently I'm the only mum in her class who wont let DD9 (nearly 10) watch 12s. They are all also watching programmes like His Dark Materials (which I thought was a bit scary!) Am I alone in this? Do you let your 9/10 year olds watch 12s?

For context DD has active imagination and used to get terrified of lots of PG films/have nightmares etc. To be fair she is much better now than she was, so am happy to be told this is clouding my judgement and I am BU. Smile

OP posts:
Wakeupsunshinex · 02/06/2021 11:42

Definitely agree that it depends on the film and your child. You know her best and how she's likely to react afterwards.

My 6 year old DS is going through a superhero phase atm thanks to his friends at school so we've been watching the Marvel movies, most of which are 12A's.

CatsArePeople · 02/06/2021 11:59

YABU. But you pick your own battles. Fair enough if some films are trash, even for adults. But Harry Potter or Star Wars? Don't know a kid who hasn't seen them all in primary school. Only on Mumsnet they are apparently "scary"

skirk64 · 02/06/2021 12:16

As others have said, it depends on the film and the reasons it was given the rating it was.

"12" is still used on home media whereas in the cinema it's "12A" meaning someone under 12 can only go in with an adult accompanying them.

"12" is used on DVDs and Blurays not because younger children can't watch them at home but because they shouldn't be allowed to buy them when their parents might not know.

"12" is basically a slightly stronger version of "PG" now. You're not going to see graphic masturbation or executions.

TheFuckingDogs · 02/06/2021 12:22

Things such as Jurassic worlds yes since about 6 years old.
Now dc is older some sitcom type stuff where the “rude bits” used to go over his head now seem rather in appropriate, in particular Friends has lots of stuff I’m now a bit uncomfortable with. Mild peril though not so much

Original poster
gobletsofmadness · 02/06/2021 12:23

Thanks for the responses - agreeing and disagreeing. I do feel a bit mean now Blush. As it is Harry Potter 4 and upwards she wants to watch.
I think previous bad experiences of nightmares and sleepless nights have clouded my judgement a bit (though she does still get easily spooked!) But sounds like I need to lighten up a bit Smile - I don't want her to be left out at school.

OP posts:
CatsArePeople · 02/06/2021 12:29

If your child suffers from nightmares, consult a GP. In issue maybe in diet, maybe needs food supplements.

LittleGwyneth · 02/06/2021 12:38

I think teaching children to deal with fear is a really important step, and slightly scary films can be a great tool for that.

MacCoffee · 02/06/2021 12:49

Yeah I let DD watch all the HP films around 8. She understood movies are made up but can be scary. Better to teach her than shield her. She still says HP 2 is the scariest film and book of the set Grin

She’s 14 now and chooses to watch what she wants. She’s good at knowing what’s too much for her and self regulates anything too far.

chesterelly · 02/06/2021 12:56

My DD wanted to watch Hunger Games at that age. The deal we did was she had to read the book first so she'd have an idea what to expect. My reasoning being that if book was getting too much she could take a break more easily and she'd be painting the pictures with her own imagination first rather than all the special effects of a Hollywood blockbuster. It seemed to work (and got her reading a lot more as we went on to apply it to other films)

Pedalpushers · 02/06/2021 13:00

I read the first His Dark Materials book when I was a nervous 8 year old, without any issues, and the book is far more graphic and scary than the TV show which cuts out the majority of the worst imagery.

zingally · 02/06/2021 13:04

Mine aren't at that age yet, so I can only speak for my own experience...
I had no bother watching 12s from about 10 years old. But the jump to 15s and then 18s was harder. I did end up seeing some stuff I wasn't ready for.

TenThousandSpoons · 02/06/2021 13:07

Ok Harry Potter 4 has quite a graphic bit at the end of the tournament where someone (trying not to give spoilers) cuts his hand off and cuts Harry’s arm with a knife. There’s blood on his arm and knife. My dd age 12 still can’t look at this part of the film but could have coped with most of the rest a bit earlier. I’d have a cushion on hand for that bit. And the mer-people are pretty creepy and most of the underwater lake task...

Original poster
gobletsofmadness · 02/06/2021 13:26

I am of course being hypocritical in all this as my parents sneaked me into a 12 at the cinema was I was about 9/10 to see James bond - the living daylights! I was terrified though Grin

OP posts:
colouringcrayons · 02/06/2021 13:29

9yo is pretty young for a lot of 12s.

My mum used to say 'if you do everything now what will you have to look forward to?' It used to annoy me a lot and now I say the same Grin.

12-rated films are for secondary school kids IMO.

Original poster
gobletsofmadness · 02/06/2021 13:32

@colouringcrayons - great expression I may have to steal that!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 02/06/2021 13:38

We do, but my DC2 is less scared of things in films than her older sibling, so it’s a judgement call. There’s 12s and 12s, though - we only let them watch things we’ve seen already at that age, and if something feels not right yet then that’s fine and they accept it. We are on the laxer end of the spectrum (my DH especially!) compared to classmates I think.

CatsArePeople · 02/06/2021 18:26

Remember that ratings are arbitrary and don't really reflect the intended audience. Harry Potter is for primary aged kids. Hunger Games maybe early secondary. But it is good idea that they read books before films.

BeyondMyWits · 02/06/2021 18:36

We allowed the kids to watch 12s if they wanted to. They were sensible kids, still are now they are late teens.

Would add that we told them we were prepared to be the "that parent" excuse ANY TIME THEY WANTED... so when Dd15s friends wanted to watch Saw movies she said "mum says no" , and texted us to be forewarned. Same with drinking in the park, etc. She gradually took ownership of her own feelings to do with things, but when things are sprung on them it is easy to say "mum says no".

ludothedog · 02/06/2021 18:38

Yes I did.

cupsofcoffee · 02/06/2021 18:40

I think 9 is old enough to watch Harry Potter.

iminthegarden · 02/06/2021 18:41

My 9 year old gets scared at most films so no.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 02/06/2021 18:46

Seconding the recommendation to use Common Sense Media. You can see why a film has a particular rating. We're on the relaxed side regarding swearing for example, but the 10yo can get scared by supernatural/ghost type things. So yes, my DC watch some films at an earlier age, but it's not a blanket yes

MrMeeseekslookatme · 02/06/2021 18:51

I've taken my kids to see 12A films at the cinema when they were 3! They were the type of films that I knew they would be OK with like Star Wars (that was only a 12 because one of them got his top off!). If I'm not sure, DH and I will watch it first. We were going to let the kids watch Avengers Infinity War, until the end and Spiderman got turned to dust. That would have scarred them for life!

Bambi is a U is it not? Its the most traumatic film I've ever bloody seen.

Isn't 9/10 the target age for books like Harry Potter and His Dark Materials?

The good thing about watching stuff with them at home, is you can always turn it off if they get upset by it.

Soubriquet · 02/06/2021 18:53

Depends on the film

I’ve let my 6 and 8 year old watch things like the Meg, Jurassic park, and the marvel films.

None of them are overly violent, sweary or sexual.

Something else that contains the above I would let them watch