AIBU about my clothes or is DH?

[ACupOfTeaSolvesEverything]

Since lockdown 1 last year I’ve been slowly running out of clothes. Just wear and tear, cats clawing my leggings, torn jeans etc. Bought new jeans online at Christmas then got paint all over them 🙄
Anyway. Ordered more clothes online last week and they aren’t very nice so I kept an emergency pair of rubbish leggings and returned the rest.
Yesterday I wore the leggings and DH commented he could see my knickers and I may as well not wear them. I know that but I’ve not much else to cover my arse.
Today I’ve put on a short dress I don’t often wear but have owned for years. I’m going clothes shopping to an actual shop today. DH has just asked me if I’m going out naked. I asked him if he was being obnoxious on purpose two days in a row and he’s flabbergasted, says he’s just letting me know and I’d tell him if it were the other way round. (I wouldn’t. He frequently looks “interesting” but I figure it’s choice.)
AIBU or has he been massively rude? He’s not usually a twat 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote honeygirlz]@fashionablefennel why are you so angry? OP has her clothes. [/quote]
reminds me of Phoebe trying to get out of her reading class 😂

More than once I’ve seen someone in pale pink leggings with a waist length top, and from a distance have honestly thought they were naked.
Personally, in the public interest, I think leggings should always be worn with an arse-covering top. And the fatter the arse, the more this applies.
Yes, I know I’m supposed to think that people can wear what they like, but I don’t. I’ve seen some vast-arse/short top combos that were positively obscene.

I agree with you @GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER, I've seen someone in beige leggings and looked twice.

Leggings without a bum covering top only looks good on (some) athletes. The wobbly arse hanging out of a g-string wobbling like a jelly on a plate is not a good look regardless of age and bmi.

Similarly those baggy arsed skinny joggers do not look good on men.

"reminds me of Phoebe trying to get out of her reading class 😂"

No idea what you're on about. Is Phoebe your imaginary friend?

So you usually wear the dress with leggings today you have just put the dress on, he probably thinks you had forgotten the leggings. Yesterday he told you your clothes were see through. Really doesn't sound like body shaming at all.

I agree he could have been more tactful, but totally agree with him telling you. Its one of my pet hates , see through leggings. If you can invest in sweatty betty or spanx for leggings. Cost a bit more but are so worth it. Don't tear easily , wash well ,keep their shape will last for years. You work very hard try prioritizing yourself every so often you deserve it

Considering it’s not normal behaviour by him and you already know the clothes aren’t what you would usually wear, I think he’s doing you a favour by pointing out exactly what other people will think when they see you.

You're not unreasonable to be annoyed but I think it does depend on whether it comes from a genuine place of concern. I bought a beautiful, flowy midi dress from quiz two weeks ago and though I felt so pretty in it, my DH pointed out he could see my knickers through it (and to be fair you could) so I used of my old leggings from laat year and cut little shorts out of them to wear underneath.

I'd definitely want to know. In fact, I'd be upset if they didn't say anything.

@honeygirlz

He's body shaming you to destroy your confidence. Tell him to fuck off.

Lol. Are you on the wrong thread?he’s never mentioned her body. It’s her clothing or lack of he’s commenting on.

Well done on the new wardrobe op.

Hmm it's hard. I was wearing a short dress once when on my way down to London and my husband mentioned it was pretty short. I'm glad he told me as it would have been a nightmare getting my bags and stuff on the train journey if my arse flashed every time I bent over.

Be glad he tells you. My DH tells me everything looks good, then I walk past a full length window or mirror and see what a state I actually look 🙈

YANBU.

I've promised myself that if anybloke is like this to me in future, I'll say 'who asked you?'

Glad you've found some stuff. If he ever says anything about your appearance in future, = 'who asked you?' or even 'who are you to talk?'

@honeygirlz

"reminds me of Phoebe trying to get out of her reading class 😂"

No idea what you're on about. Is Phoebe your imaginary friend?

yes, yes she is.

Feeling better now?

@fashionablefennel you're literally making zero sense.

It's not necessarily easy to tell how the comments were meant unless you heard the tone and know the person. However, the OP must have felt it was a bit off, or why would she have posted?

A comment about the revealingness of what sounds like a perfectly reasonable dress effectively is a comment about the OP's body. It's not uncommon to hear MNers on the Relationships board talking about their partners 'negging' them about their clothes/figure and trying to police how much they cover up, I wouldn't say it's that much of a leap to think there could be an element of that going on here.

I'm also with GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER. I would expect my husband to tell me if my underwear was on show and, in the unlikely event my underwear was of a minimalist style, I think it would be reasonable to point out that and insufficient amount of my body was covered.

Short dress can be very pretty or it can be a blouse.
Leggings are fine with a longer top, but often appear to be little thicker than 30 denier tights. A skin-hugging, stretched piece of thin jersey over a lace thong is not a good look on ample buttocks. Its worse if the top of the thong is making arches that expose skin underneath.

Haha love the Friends reference @fashionablefennel.

YABU to wear leggings!

Just buy yourself some decent clothes.
If you were see through leggings then of course he's going to comment.

The comment about the dress was job appropriate and I'd have been annoyed about that but not the leggings.

Unless you’re pregnant or going to the gym I think leggings are awful
I’ve never seen anyone look good in leggings.
As pp’s have said if you’re going to wear them put a long top on too.

The comment about the dress was job appropriate and I'd have been annoyed about that but not the leggings.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen The thing is OP didn't have much else to wear, which her husband presumably knew. So it was deliberately shaming her about something she could do nothing about. She was getting stuff ASAP so was doing all she could about it.

MN is very weird sometimes - for some unknown reason, pps have joined the "are you naked" comment with the see-through leggings! But he said it about her dress! To me it implied that the dress was either "too short" for his 'liking' (which is tough shit, it's her body), or he thought it was a bit skimpy - had she come on and said that her husband doesn't like her wearing short dresses, you lot would be all over her to LTB or tell him to fuck off!
As I said, weird day for MN.

I was out at the weekend and see someone in tan coloured ribbed leggings with a black thong underneath, it wasn't a flattering look and if I was her I would hope my DH would point out you could see not only my underwear but every dimple in my arse (she had a lovely figure but most of us have a few arse dimples) , I commented similarly to DH and he said oh yes and I would but we're married and have been together nearly fifteen years, they were barely at born back then so they can't have been together long, even if he's noticed he won't say anything, he'll be on best behaviour. Essentially if you're in an adult relationship your partner should be able to tell you your knickers are showing. If he doesn't generally comment it wouldn't bother me.

*saw