Tell me your funny IL tales

[Frankola]

Sometimes I really can't help but think that my DHs family are genuinely insane 😂

My SIL is currently playing a game of "hide the wedding date".

So the story here is that she has booked her wedding. Announced this on Facebook (obviously). And asked my DH, her brother, to be a part of the groomsmen.

DH said lovely, yes and asked what date the wedding was. She is genuinely, honestly, no word of a lie refusing to tell him?!!!

How can he agree to a date he doesn't know? Why would she hide this?! 😂

It's almost as funny as them turning up to our wedding with a full tin foil packed picnic as they didn't know if a hotel venue booked for the entire day would provide food? 😒

Or the time that my DH hurt his back back was bed bound for a week. His mum and sister turned up and took over the house. Insisting on doing everything for DH and in turn insisting I do everything for them! This ended up with them telling everyone who'd listen that they had to "come to help care" for DH, making out I did nothing for him in that time. Well obviously I didn't when they made it so I was relegated to waiting on THEM hand and foot instead!

Do I have the strangest ILs? Please say it isn't so?!

@ERFFER

RaptorInaPorkPieHat - why always the cat thing?? I got asked this loads when I was pregnant? And told they kill babies- I mean, who even says that !?

Weirdly, MIL's own MIL (who, I have to say, I absolutely bloody adored) had told her to get rid of the cat when she was pregnant, which was how MIL had started the campaign. Mind you, MIL was a hoarder who never cleaned (and neither did FIL!) so I could understand GMIL's point of view. The last time we visited her house, she hadn't owned a cat for nearly 10 years and there was still a layer of cat hair on the carpet...

Anyway, with regards to our murderous cats, we bought cat nets to 'protect the baby' and diligently placed it on the cot before baby arrived. Cat number 3 used it as a hammock Once DD arrived the cats all made a speedy retreat as she was just this screaming ball that didn't know how to use a tin opener so she was of no use to them

One other fun story, when DH told MIL I was pregnant she said "don't expect me to do any knitting" and hung up on DH. She then didn't speak to us for 3 weeks (we actually didn't notice which enraged her even more)

My MIL thought my cat was going to sit on baby DDs face and smother her. He couldn’t get away fast enough.

He had the right idea didn’t he?.

@UpHillandDownAle

My inlaws referred to me being rushed to another hospital by ambulance in a near death situation as a “magical half an hour” for my DH as he got to have our 2-hour-old baby to himself for the half an hour drive between hospitals following the ambulance.

Fuck me I'm glad you survived but I'm surprised your IL did after that comment

The whole 'cats suck the breath out of babies' or 'smother them' is an bizarre old wives tale. Cats can't physically 'suck' air, and lying on a baby's drooling crying face is not comfortable for them. Not to mention that the baby would move it's head anyway.

Cats are far more protective of babies than dogs are and I never felt bad having a cat in with my baby daughter. In fact, when I was a baby, my parents' first cat slept in my room and if the next door neighbor's dogs woke me up, he (the cat) would go and belt the dogs up and leave them yelping. And he would follow me around the yard when I learned to crawl. Always by my side and watching after me. Cats are by far the best protectors.

Here are YT clips of cats saving babies, a pet cat chased off a dog that attacked a child, ( interview with family and boy attacked ) one dragged a toddler away from opening the oven ( ) , another attacked/scratched a babysitter when the cat thought the baby was at risk ( ). The last one, the cat noticed the baby 6 week old girl Stacey had stopped breathing, raced frantically down stairs to the human parents, paced up and down meowing in from of them to get their attention, then raced back upstairs and gave an anguished and guttural growl into the baby monitor so they'd race upstairs and finally realise the baby stopped breathing and saved it (interview with parents and footage 12 year old Stacey MOST HEARTWARMING MUST SEE if you see no other clip - ).

Extra, Also, cat saves toddler from falling downstairs ( )

Cats are HEROES! I'd never allow a dog, any dog, near a baby, but I'd always have a cat in the baby's nursery watching them. They're baby whisperers and angels in cat form.

Sorry to go OT.

Some cracking ones on here! My now ex-ils were also mad as a box of frogs. Some classics:

XH was adopted along with his sister - I had known that for years yet when I was pregnant with mine telling me at length how it was when she was carrying - even after I told her that I knew about the adoption she still carried on totally ignoring it.

The dinner choices - when I had DD she came to cook and “help”. Dinner was a really foul cottage pie, with raw broad beans and fish parsley sauce from a packet!

The present choices - never anything in the right age range or suitable and then questioned by DD or DS wasn’t playing with the action man type figure with all the little bits when they were only 2!

XFIL telling DD she had killed XMIL with a stroke and even putting it in a letter because of the stress she had put her through - she was very much still alive and kicking and being awful to DD and me!

Ils denied their ds was abusive and violent.. Their answer was never to come to our house.. That way they never saw any damage or him passed out drunk..
Or our minimum possessions..
Until about 15 years later he attacked his pensioner dm in her own front garden.
They disowned him.
And wrote him out of their wills...
Shame they couldn't have suppported their dgc...

After 3 miscarriages in a row, one of which left us deeply traumatised and nearly cost me my life and one of which Mil blamed me for. Mil has the audacity to keep telling us that she lost 3 grandchildren too. While true, she is trying to make out that her sadness is equal too or greater than the pain of losing three of your children.
She generally ok but this has been a sore spot for us.
She also started crying in the nicu after the birth of one of our living children and wailed " thank you for my amazing gift"

Op they do sound quite bonkers! Mine are very tame by comparison. Worryingly think my own family might be the oddballs, but I've never heard of anyone bringing a picnic to a hotel wedding . That's amazing.

As we have strayed into DM territory...

My mother took my now-husband out for a walk the second time we went to stay with her. She was insistent it be alone. She then spent the next hour asking him if he was sure he wanted to “settle” with me as “he really could do much better”.

We have very low contact with her now...

@Jokie

My MIL asked me after a very traumatic miscarriage if I "could still have children?". When I said yes, she replied: oh good. You've still got some worth.

I’m so sorry, what a bitch. NC I hope?!

In the early days of our relationship, MIL was still trying to match DH up with the daughter of a friend, who was more to her taste for potential DIL - eg public-school educated, 'impressive' city job etc. I met this woman at someone's evening wedding party in fact after we were married... and MIL actually told DH that night that he did better by marrying me than he would have with her and that I had more 'depth'.

My ex MIL came into my place or work after I kicked her DS out for cheating to say they were going to her PIL at the weekend and what time could they collect us.

Us? I asked. Obviously she meant just ds?
Oh no - who would look after 1yo ds if I didn't go?

Dear reader - I didn't go. And ds didn't either!

Told me off for ringing her phone at 11pm after trying ds father for hours as ds was in hospital with suspected meningitis or sepsis (luckily neither and had bronchitis). I wanted to know if she knew where he was or could let him know (he lived with her by then).
But no - I got an earful about waking them up so late when they had to go flat hunting the following day at 10am.

Another time I asked if her or ex P could have ds on the Saturday for a few hours as usual childcare was unavailable whilst I worked.
But nope - because this day they were going out to get furniture for said flat they'd found for him to rent.

I got my own back though because whenever she started to ask if she could have ds I'd ask what her plans were and if she ever said anything to do with shopping or looking at stuff or visiting places/people I use to decline on the basis she'd made it quite clear she felt unable to juggle looking after ds with errands

Which in turn forced her to make her own son actually take some responsibility and offer at least one day a week contact with his son just so she could see him!

My mil and sil left part way through the reception, because they were tired. Didn't say goodbye to me. Sil still says it was a shame they weren't allowed to stay for the party, as everyone else had so much fun from the photos

@UpHillandDownAle

My inlaws referred to me being rushed to another hospital by ambulance in a near death situation as a “magical half an hour” for my DH as he got to have our 2-hour-old baby to himself for the half an hour drive between hospitals following the ambulance.

Well, that one wins today's internet for being possibly the most insensitive comment of the century!

Mil tried to pass of a huge box of gifts from her boss as from herself!!
Mil herself got ds nothing....

Years ago MIL suggested we buy her house (pay 50% market rate), which would allow her to downsize to a property without stairs. BIL would then inherit that property fully.

This all seemed like a great idea, until BIL (34 at the time) says to us; "I'll get to keep my room, right?" Needless to say we kiboshed the plan after that conversation.

I still laugh about it now!

I’m lucky that I have normal ILs. The only odd thing I can recall is being invited to go to their house for a meal and after we had finished eating, we were told how much we had to pay for our meals and given the bank details to pay it into!

@IJoinedJustForThisThread

I’m lucky that I have normal ILs. The only odd thing I can recall is being invited to go to their house for a meal and after we had finished eating, we were told how much we had to pay for our meals and given the bank details to pay it into!

That's not normal though... 🌹

@IJoinedJustForThisThread

I’m lucky that I have normal ILs. The only odd thing I can recall is being invited to go to their house for a meal and after we had finished eating, we were told how much we had to pay for our meals and given the bank details to pay it into!

😱 I think your definition of normal ils is somewhat weird.

@Newestname001
@wellstopdoingitthen

You’re right, that’s not something I would do to other people, but compared to some of the craziness on this thread, it’s normal!