Tell me your funny IL tales

[Frankola]

Sometimes I really can't help but think that my DHs family are genuinely insane 😂

My SIL is currently playing a game of "hide the wedding date".

So the story here is that she has booked her wedding. Announced this on Facebook (obviously). And asked my DH, her brother, to be a part of the groomsmen.

DH said lovely, yes and asked what date the wedding was. She is genuinely, honestly, no word of a lie refusing to tell him?!!!

How can he agree to a date he doesn't know? Why would she hide this?! 😂

It's almost as funny as them turning up to our wedding with a full tin foil packed picnic as they didn't know if a hotel venue booked for the entire day would provide food? 😒

Or the time that my DH hurt his back back was bed bound for a week. His mum and sister turned up and took over the house. Insisting on doing everything for DH and in turn insisting I do everything for them! This ended up with them telling everyone who'd listen that they had to "come to help care" for DH, making out I did nothing for him in that time. Well obviously I didn't when they made it so I was relegated to waiting on THEM hand and foot instead!

Do I have the strangest ILs? Please say it isn't so?!

@CokeDrinker actually I have many times, I’m the only one who ever did which is why I’ve always been the trouble maker because I wouldn’t put up with her shit and had no problem pulling her up on it. I’m also NC with her and don’t allow her anywhere near my DCs so she can’t damage them.

Last week I went to see ILs with DH and DS(4). One of the ones with the nets around and you have to unzip to get out. He was standing on the outside of the net, but no ladder to help him down. To our Shane, the Adults were not quite paying attention and his cousins were still jumping inside netting. Inevitably he fell off and got a bit of a shock. No injuries but needed some comforting. MIL; ‘well we did warn him’. I just had to walk away with him, I was so enraged. He’s 4 FFS!!

@Justcallmebabs

Last week I went to see ILs with DH and DS(4). One of the ones with the nets around and you have to unzip to get out. He was standing on the outside of the net, but no ladder to help him down. To our Shane, the Adults were not quite paying attention and his cousins were still jumping inside netting. Inevitably he fell off and got a bit of a shock. No injuries but needed some comforting. MIL; ‘well we did warn him’. I just had to walk away with him, I was so enraged. He’s 4 FFS!!

Sorry, that didn’t make any sense!! He was on a trampoline and *to our shame (bloody autocorrect)

My to be MIL asked me in a restaurant, quite loudly, with all of his family at the table whether her son had ever made me scream during sex! She was drunk, but not that drunk. I'm still traumatised 9 years later. The woman has no boundaries.

At a family wedding (husbands family) i recieved a lovely compliment of, oh you have heavy legs!

MIL refused to allow DP(now DH) and me to share a bedroom at her house until we were 30. Yes, really. Even though we'd been together since university and had lived together for years.

Neither my MIL or FIL ever acknowledged to me that I miscarried our first baby (and their first grandchild). I know they know it happened because I heard DH tell them over the phone.

Similarly, neither my MIL or FIL ever acknowledged to me that my father had died. Even though I'd been living with DH for 4 years when it happened, and they'd met my father several times. But it was never spoken of.

MIL would only ever buy DD1 clothes for her age, regardless of whether they would actually fit or not. DD1 went through puberty early and was 5ft 5" before she turned 11 and was much taller than MIL - but MIL would only buy her clothes for a 10 year old. Like it was Da Law or something?

MIL hated driving and would only drive on a set route around her home town. If she needed to go somewhere not directly on her set route, then she would catch a bus into town instead. She also refused, point blank, to park a car or even reverse it. She drove everywhere, and I mean everywhere at 20 mph. It was a huge relief to all who knew her when she gave up driving at 70.

@Longdistance

I’m currently holidaying on the Isle of Wight and I can guarantee you that mil is at my house (she lives a few hours away). She’s obtained a house key from fil (her ex dh) and is using my house as a hotel to visit her friends. We’ll get back from holiday, she’ll stay one night and then piss off and not even babysit. We went in our two week holiday a few years ago. The internet was naff where we were, but I managed to check the cctv randomly, to be met with mils car on the driveway

Change the Netflix password! Pity you can't change the router password at that distance.

My ex mil told me I was a lucky girl as she had seen my ex husband getting out of the shower by accident once.

[quote Wanttocryatthecost]@CokeDrinker actually I have many times, I’m the only one who ever did which is why I’ve always been the trouble maker because I wouldn’t put up with her shit and had no problem pulling her up on it. I’m also NC with her and don’t allow her anywhere near my DCs so she can’t damage them.[/quote]
Good for you

I offered my XFIL a second helping of trifle on Christmas Day and my XMIL screamed, "Are you trying to kill my husband?"

She then accepted a second helping herself. And a third. I think her beef was that I hadn't asked her first.

My MIL has a pet owl which she takes out for 'walks' around her village. I'd love to know what the local kids have nicknamed her. In FIL thinks she's mental!!

@Catflapkitkat

I am from the UK but living in my DH's country. First time I met her was for an award been given to my DH. His ex fiancé and her new husband had been invited and turned up just as it was starting. My MIL ran down the steps of the theatre and thew herself crying at this woman. At the awards dinner later in the evening, my MIL to be sat holding his ex fiancé's hand still crying much to the embarrassment of her new husband and I. Later on I discovered that MIL had been a pain in arse to the ex fiancé when she and DH were together.

Another was MIL meeting a colleague of my DH at our house warming party. She told us the colleague was a great girl (she is) and that she was the kind of local girl she hoped DH would have married as she would be a better match for him and HER. She told him to snap her up if she became available. DH's colleague is happily married with two kids and 20 years younger than him.

She has told me several times that 'no one can love my DH more than her' and the last time in front of our 14 year son, she turned to him and said 'not even you'

Last week she told me I was impolite for struggling with the language and people thought I was rude. She has lived in the same village for 50 years only moving 10 miles from where she grew up prior to that.

Wow. Just wow 😮

My MIL sent me a freebie sanitary towel that had been posted through her door.
Message with said ST, "Too old for this, maybe you can use it?" It was wrapped up, didn't pay for postage as she thought it wouldn't incur a fee and I paid £5.75 to unwrap her "helpful little gift". I didn't use sanitary towels either

Musicwithrocksinit "There's way more happened because they won't open letters but they still refuse to open them and every time something goes wrong they say "that's just what happens when you don't open your post" and nod like it's an unavoidable part of life!" Do you know why by any chance?

I'm sure there are loads but I vacant remember them all.
One was that we were all sitting at the dinner table having a conversation and my FIL suddenly said to me "How do you know all this stuff?" I was a bit taken aback and I just said "Reading, listening to the radio" And he said "Well maybe you you should stop" 😳
Also, the first thing he said when we announced I was pregnant was "Well don't expect us to be babysitting for you!" Nice.

Ha ha ha these are awful/brilliant- I wished my fil lived 30 years away and @toastjam do you actually get to request that in someone else’s house 🤷🏼‍♀️

My mil told me she didn't like me the first time we met. She was very put out at me and DH falling about laughing.
She used to preface sentences with, I'm only being honest. She stopped when I asked her if it was code for I'm about to be a rude cunt.
I was so rude to her, I've threw her out of the house, shut the door in her face, refused to acknowledge she was there amongst other things and it was like water off a ducks back to her. She had skin like a rhino.
She carried on like her and DH had a special relationship but he couldn't stand her
We live in the same town and I haven't spoken to her for years, DH and the DDs stopped a couple of years after me. I'm sure she wouldn't recognise the DDs now, but I've heard she tells everyone in her church what a close bond they have with her

Some of these MIL’s are truly awful! Mine isn’t awful she’s actually quite sweet but she has a tendency to wildly over exaggerate stories. Once she was looking after DC for us when we went for a little holiday. There was a small storm whilst we were away and MIL told us a tree had blown down in the driveway. We had about 4 large fur trees to the side of the driveway and a large car which could have been damaged so we were quite concerned. When we got back from our holiday we saw the “tree” in our driveway was actually a branch! There are many more similar incidents. Me and DH have a good laugh about it.

Also, the first thing he said when we announced I was pregnant was "Well don't expect us to be babysitting for you!" Nice.

It was my mum who said this to me. My MIL was happy to babysit for us.

When we told our inlaws about our second baby coming along they were horrified because I was 40 and dh 38. To be fair to them, dh had grown up and been living away from home for 4 years by the time mil was 40. They couldn't get their heads round it! Fast foward nearly 18 years and they think the sun shines out of that gc.

My MIL refused to go to Cornwall on holiday as she had heard that there was no where to park.

@RIPwalter

My MIL has a pet owl which she takes out for 'walks' around her village. I'd love to know what the local kids have nicknamed her. In FIL thinks she's mental!!

This makes her a legend in my eyes!! Probably names herself the pussycat. I request you submit her story to anywhere that will make a mini series on her and her owl

Not mine but an old friend's.
After her 2nd ectopic pregnancy, when she had very nearly died and all hope of having their own biological child had been dashed, she asked "does that mean you're barren now, dear?" (said in a faux sweet voice with a head tilt).

@Harrykanesrightsock

MIL Straddled the best mans face at our wedding. Insisted random people were invited but never arrived costing us hundreds and empty seats we could have had invited more friends. First family holiday we arrived and they were there as a surprise for the full week. Gave 11 year old alcohol.

OMFG 😱