Tell me your funny IL tales

[Frankola]

Sometimes I really can't help but think that my DHs family are genuinely insane 😂

My SIL is currently playing a game of "hide the wedding date".

So the story here is that she has booked her wedding. Announced this on Facebook (obviously). And asked my DH, her brother, to be a part of the groomsmen.

DH said lovely, yes and asked what date the wedding was. She is genuinely, honestly, no word of a lie refusing to tell him?!!!

How can he agree to a date he doesn't know? Why would she hide this?! 😂

It's almost as funny as them turning up to our wedding with a full tin foil packed picnic as they didn't know if a hotel venue booked for the entire day would provide food? 😒

Or the time that my DH hurt his back back was bed bound for a week. His mum and sister turned up and took over the house. Insisting on doing everything for DH and in turn insisting I do everything for them! This ended up with them telling everyone who'd listen that they had to "come to help care" for DH, making out I did nothing for him in that time. Well obviously I didn't when they made it so I was relegated to waiting on THEM hand and foot instead!

Do I have the strangest ILs? Please say it isn't so?!

When I was having my c section my partners mum ( don't like to call her mil ) came into the delivery room sobbing her heart out because her sons ex said she couldn't see the other grandchild that evening then left 45 mins later to pick up said grandchild then when dd was 9 weeks old partners mum created Merry hell because we decided to have Xmas in our new home with our newborn, we didn't want dd near their dog who is quite snappy and has been known to snap at children ( I used to have this dog whilst they had their other grandchild because they were worried the dog would bite grandchild but when it came to protecting my dd they said I was being ridiculous and stupid and pulling her family apart, they've offered me diet pills, she has always since having dd tried to come between my partner and I it's worked thou we've never been the same since

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

I changed the plug on ex-mils hoover and she wouldn't plug it in in case it 'blew up'. It needed checking by a man first, you see.

Current mil is lovely but no brake between mouth and brain and blurts comments out at entirely random moments.

Mil *stares thoughtfully at my pasty white legs for a minute while everyone was chatting, then "You could try fake tan".

Mil stares at my mouth for a bit while everyone is chatting, then "Why didn't you have braces?"

Whenever she stares at a part of me, I know she's going to say something.

Luckily I find it funny.

Oh the plug one sounds just like my late MIL, when I was setting up our new computer, a big desk top job, she went on about 'needing a man' that I stopped! When OH came home he expressed surprise that I hadn't done it and he told her that he didn't know one end from the other.

When we told her I was pregnant with our first baby after 8 years of marriage her first comment was 'How will you manage his meals when you're in hospital'!

When a friend of his got engaged she said 'She's a very plain girl, Ethel (girl's prospective MIL) will have no trouble with her'.

We had a very large rectangular bay window with 4 curtains, I always opened them all the way, she would then move two of them, so they were hanging in the corner of the bay and then I moved them back to where they were. She got very puzzled.

SIL a month before I had my DD. ‘ my favourite film is Jack and Sarah. The one where the mother dies and the father’s family looks after the baby’.
Before we we married.
‘Men with blond hair don’t marry women with dark hair because they can’t prove the children his’.
Whispered to our DD’ your mum thinks she’s clever but she’s not’.
Various guests at parties at her house ‘ you are really not how SIL described you’
After the Nth time I started to reply ‘ I’m so much worse’ or ‘ wow! Neither are you!’
Her grown up children and husband are on medication for anxiety due to her behaviour although no one confronts her.

She is a textbook Narcissist.

She was jilted on her wedding day and that man had a really lucky escape.

I posted this on the wtf thread too:

My lovely Irish mil had a brother in a home in Ireland, one day the home rang and said he was poorly.
MIL dutifully took herself off to BHS and bought a fine black suit and hat “ to “look nice at the funeral” - I was like WTF! He’s not even dead yet!

She and her other brother and the wives bundled themselves into their Sierra sapphire, booked the ferry and went home to “sort the arrangements” - she was most perturbed when he lived!!

Infact he outlived MIL - wonder what became of the famous BHS trouser suit?

When we had 2 x dc close together ils offered to buy a double buggy. Very much app.
But they wanted to choose it.
They spent 2 long trips to The Town to go find one.
Without me.
Or the dc who would be using it.
Mil wasn't even 5 foot tall and weighed about 7 stone.
Any buggy she looked at I doubt she could have pushed... Or seen over the handle..
After 3 weeks dh told her we would just buy one as I was wanting to get out of the bloody house!
Eventually I was invited to go choose one myself!!
Very grateful obviously but come one!!
Oh and mil wore her glasses to help fil with his driving

Mil herself never got past second gear...
Neither ever took the dc anywhere..

MIL...

• Ignored me for my whole pregnancy with my first as we were not married and the baby was going to go to hell.
• Insisted on meeting baby at the hospital, even though we were being discharged. Convinced my husband to tell the midwife to wait to discharge us until she had been round - ended up being in hospital 6 hours longer because of that - never forgave her, or my husband(!), for that.
• started critiquing a baby blog we did for family members telling us to take posts down, change titles etc.
• pretended to be pro breast feeding if asked, but would ask me to leave the room if I needed to feed, or ask me to go to the toilet if we were in public.
• always asked my husband in front of me 'should she be doing it like that?' to anything parenting wise I did.
• told me my baby was going to suffocate in baby carrier.
• once our BIL had a baby compared everything to them - 'they bottle feed which is better as it's more inclusive for me' 😂😂
• would find out what present we were getting for the baby and buy the same, and try to insist they gave the gift before the birthday / Christmas as they didn't want the children to be disappointed because they would already have it otherwise.
• Stopped talking to us again when we got engaged (I did start thinking I was the common link at this point!)
• Refused to talk to us about our wedding, actively trying to talk other family members out of going at all.
• moaned at how expensive our wedding was but refused to let us pay for her accomodation despite the fact we offered and had budgeted for it. We paid for other people in the end instead 😂
• was the last person to arrive at the venue for the wedding, in the early hours of the morning the night before. Left the wedding early because she was tired.
• Ignored me on the wedding day, except one comment 'I'm glad this is official now'.
• gave my husband what was effectively a bad TripAdvisor review of the wedding. Refused to look at any pictures unless they were of her 😂
• same treatment when other son got married, wouldn't engage, sat with a sour face the whole day, and then ignored him for a year before he got his review. She said she didn't like his registrar, the entertainment, her seat, that she wasn't made to feel special enough, and that she didn't get a big present from him on the day 😂
• despite being obsessive with our first baby, was the polar opposite with the second, didn't even react when she was born, let alone come to meet her until she was much older!
• many more years of bonkers things...
• eventually relocated to another part of the country as she didn't want to be near us anymore because we didn't do every thing her way.

Life has been much more peaceful since and we have reflected to think - why the heck did we put up with her crazy demands and ways. You can only laugh!

After 6 dgs's mil got her longed for dgd..
Apparently my gift was in the car as she pointed to her car keys. I went to fetch it
.
TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT GRABBY I PROMISE..
I opened the blue carrier bag from The Co-op to find.

A Tefal frying pan.
Words truly failed me.

With first baby mil would turn up (D's was 10 days old and I'd had a c section and a nephrostomy) she would whisk my now ex dh upstairs to discuss her latest relationship drama, leaving me to wait on everyone and look after the baby.

Didn't acknowledge my third pregnancy at all.

Deliberately chose spicy pizza for my eldest (by this time dx with adhd/asd) even though he hated spicy food and I'd told her that, because she 'thought he might eat it for her'

Had a dalliance with an old flame and brought him round one evening whilst her dp was at home and then proceeded to slag me off in a faux joking manner about how I was the messy one and how her poor son had to clear up all the time.

She used to ask her friends round when we were visiting to 'judge' my parenting because she didn't believe dd had adhd (confirmed by ex dh - not my imagination)

Used to phone exDh to complain about me on a weekly basis.

Apparently she was like this with all his partners - I was just unfortunate enough to have married him!

My mouth is dropping at some of these

Nope not just you with the weird in laws.

MIL speaks not a word of English, and has never been to school so is completely illiterate. The nonsense she comes out with is unreal. She’s also impeccably selfish, one time on the walk through for our wedding she pretended to faint (key here was she refused medical attention yet made out she was dying) so got extended family to have a go at my husband and I for Leaving her all alone. She’s in her 50s, was with other family and had known this was pre booked for weeks.

FIL abandoned MIL to set up a new life with basically his mistress and their kids. Treated DH as insignificant for years. Threatened to disown him as he didn’t attend one day of a family function as my grandmother had died so he was with me.

Tip of the iceberg with that lot ...

Placemarking

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin
I actually understand this!! From what mention your mil was travelling from the UK to Ireland? In Ireland funerals are pretty much immediately after the death - so MIL wouldn’t have had a chance to get a funeral outfit in Ireland (or it wound have been a serious rush).

MIL regularly shows me herself naked to get my opinion on if she's lost weight. She eats dinner in her dressing gown naked underneath at the dinner table. Even when we go over for dinner. I've told DH it makes me uncomfortable to keep seeing her naked bur he said "urggggh" and refuses to get involved so I don't really know how to approach it.

We got engaged, her and her partner got engaged 2 weeks later. Had the same ring as mine but pointed out to everyone that hers was platinum and mine was white gold.

Booked their wedding for 3 weeks before mine, my family were fuming 😂

I've had 10 miscarriages and she continuously asks me when we are going to try again as she would like a grandchild, well I do apologise that my body keeps failing me.

I could go on....

They send my husband money (as in an allowance) he is expected to account for every penny of it he spends (he sends it back, annoyingly you can’t block a bank account), he did once send it to a charity he knew they would hate.

They wanted both their sets of parents to come to our wedding, due to covid guest numbers were very limited, we said no as this would mean I wouldn’t have any guests apart from my son (5), they chose not to come to the wedding. Husbands mum sent various voicemails how she will never recover from her son banning her from his wedding (interesting take on it), only about four weeks before they told him not to marry me as he would go to hell and it would ruin their lives as their friends might find out their son is fallen. Like, make your mind up guys.

I am gobsmacked by some of these! My MIL can be difficult but we generally get along (bar one big fallout where she realised where my battle line was drawn). I don't know how you all mamage with these families!

@Frankola

My SIL wore a white dress to my wedding come to think of it. A dress so short people actually commented to me and DH about it being inappropriate at the time.

I can't wait for her wedding

My ex-MIL wore a horrendous white trouser suit to my wedding. She barked at one of my relatives to stop “staring at my arse”, the only people staring at her would be in horror.

My mil was apparently weeping and wailing when dh- to- be told her she wasn't actually invited to our wedding..
After he caught her out ringing the hire shop to change the tartan selection he had made for his kilt etc..

@Aprilwasverywet

After 6 dgs's mil got her longed for dgd.. Apparently my gift was in the car as she pointed to her car keys. I went to fetch it . TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT GRABBY I PROMISE.. I opened the blue carrier bag from The Co-op to find.

A Tefal frying pan.
Words truly failed me.

Haha love it! My DF presented me a plastic spaghetti holder as a present when I had my youngest DD because he was sick of seeing open packets of spaghetti with pegs on the end in my pantry 😂

Dh had gotten me a big sack of potatoes.. Truth in the apple falling not far from the tree.
Thankfully an exh now.
Should have battered them both with the pan!!

To add to mine, we had to hide we’d bought a house from the ILs and their extended family as it would be a scandal. When we did let them know, the amount of texts that came to my husband confirming the house price and asking how we afforded it were unreal! When my mother in law came around to see if she decided to tell people that we were so stupid we bought a house we couldn’t afford (Obvs not true) that had no windows (again, obviously not true) 😂

I can't wait for her wedding

You realise the drama she will create if you have a splash of white in your outfit, even if it’s on scarf or headdress. So you may as well wear a white dress and matching veil, go the whole hog!

Mine is crackers, absolutely bonkers. At the start of the pandemic, after about two weeks of lockdown she declared she’d had enough of it (ie the lockdown) and had booked herself on a cruise for August, which was my due date when she’d already agreed to make herself available to look after Dd while I was in labour or in case of any emergencies. Never mind we were in a pandemic and the chances of her being allowed to go on said cruise were almost zero and even if the cruise did sail who’d want to be stuck on a floating Petri dish?

Mil invited herself on every holiday we ever went on. Refused her all but 1. A nightmare so tactfully refused after that. Her and fil had 2 time share apartments in 2 countries. Never ever invited us or offered it to us!
They used to repack the same holiday clothes the first week end back ready for their next trip. Mil said they never bothered about taking photos as every year they wore the same stuff!!
Fil wore socks with his sandals!!

My MIL made it very clear that I was unsuitable to marry her son because I was (slightly) older than him, had a professional career and I had 'opinions' too, apparently . On our wedding day, she refused to be in any photos with me but ordered copies of others (at our expense) and then cut me out of them, leaving DH looking a bit silly by himself tbh. She did at least say " I suppose I have to welcome you to the family now". Undoubtedly the most passive-aggressive and least welcome 'welcome' ever.